My Ustadz My Husband
Part 16 - Flashback

What Khadijah hoped was not in line with the reality he had to accept, two months had passed since his meeting with Asma. And during these 2 months also, Bilal was still the same, always aloof in Musholla, praying and continuing to pray. Even he complained to God in his prayer, the more his memory of the girl became more and more attached. Even Bilal asked, is there anything wrong in his way of praying so that God does not grant his prayer?

That made Khadija feel increasingly burning fire jealous, even making her not infrequently cry, but she could not do anything.

"Already, Khadijah. Stop crying and try to talk to Bilal" his friend gave advice because he did not have the heart with Khadija.

"Speak how, Mil? Should I be mad because Mas Bilal loves Asthma? While all this time Mas Bilal has always treated me very well, even to this day, not the slightest of his behavior or his words hurt me. If I am angry, what right do I have? Bilal himself wants to forget Asthma and erase his love. But just as God wills another"

"God wills another...." Mila said that word many times while realizing something. "Absolutely Khadijah, Allah wills another, perhaps this is the answer to your prayer during this time "

"What do you mean, Mil?" Khadijah wiped his water with the tip of his hijab.

"Didn't you always pray that Bilal would always find happiness, get a perfect companion and make Bilal happy? Even you're very prepared in polygamy and share your husband with other women"

Khadijah fell silent and tried to digest Mila said.

"You even tried to match Bilal with your friends, but Bilal did not know and did not want them. Even so you still persuaded Bilal to meet them, and you were not jealous at that time. Why should you be jealous of that girl? Bilal never talked to the girl about seeing her again."

Khadija was still silent, it was true what Mila said. He only realized that, how could he be willing to be another woman Bilal's wife but not willing when Bilal fell in love with a girl?.

Could it be that all this time she wasn't really ready to share a husband?

Could the act of matching Bilal with his friend is just an ambition to make Bilal happy before death pick him up?

While he never knew, would the wife he chose for Bilal be able to make him happy?

Thinking of all that, making Khadija's head throb, he incised his temple firmly.

"Khadija, don't be too stressed, you drop again" Mila gave Khadijah a glass of water "Drink

so that you may calm down, "Khadijah takes the glass and sips the water.

"Give everything to Allah Khadijah, you may have planned something for Bilal, but Allah is the best of planners"

"What am I supposed to do now, Mil? I could not bear to see Mas Bilal like that, even last night I saw him shed tears while praying and begging God so that he could remove Asthma from his heart"

"Bilal is so tormented, this is strange Khadija. Why was Bilal so tormented just for loving that girl? Why is Bilal trying to forget?"

"I also don't know, Mil. If it happens to another man, I'm sure he'll go after Asthma and try to get her, not forget her like Mas Bilal did. In fact, she could take advantage of my wish for her to marry again. Mas Bilal could make it an excuse to get Asthma and marry her. But his nayata, he didn't do that"

"Try talking to Khadijah, maybe it can erase your curiosity and also ease Bilal's feelings "

"You're right, Mil"

.

.

.

Khadijah continued to ring the advice of Mila. Maybe this was when he asked Bilal. Khadija waited for Bilal to take a bath, and soon after, her husband came out of the bathroom with his wet hair, making him look even more handsome, even after 9 years of marriage, Khadija was always stunned to see Bilal's good looks.

"Why see that?" Bilal wagging his wet hair in front of Khadijah's face made Khadijah turn his face "I'm handsome huh?" bilal asked with his mischievous smile, making Khadijah turn his eyeballs.

"Engga, Mas Bilal is getting older, so his good looks have faded"

"Oh yeah? Even though I'm not even 30 years old, usually, men will look very handsome and macho at the age like I am today" Khadijah was reluctant to respond to Bilal's joke this time, but he was not, he walked into the closet and got Bilal a t-shirt and pants. Then he told Bilal to sit down at his dressing table, and Khadija began to dry Bilal's hair with a towel as usual.

"Emm mas.." call Khadijah in doubt. Bilal who was playing hp just muttered. "I want to ask you?"

"when do you need permission to ask?" Khadija smiled wryly.

"It's about....." Khadijah doesn't know where to start. But it feels that if he asks, then he will not die of his cancer but die of curiosity and burning fire jealousy that he had been damning.

"Kok even daydreaming, want to ask about what?"

"I don't know where to start, Mas" exclaimed Khadijah as he continued his activities.

"loh, how come? You got a problem?"

khadijah shook his head "Terus?"

"Mas..why did Mas Bilal not be honest with me" exclaimed Khadijah who finally immediately made Bilal frown he did not understand.

"meaning? Don't be honest what, honey?" Bilal asked very gently, making Khadijah's heart warm to hear him

"Why does Mas Bilal not be honest that mass Bilal all this time love someone" Bilal who has since typed something on his phone immediately stopped and looked surprised, but in the next second he tried to calm down and smile while looking at Khadijah from the mirror.

"Love who? Didn't Mas tell you, Mas not interested in your friend's friend?"

"Continue?"

"That girl, the girl that Mas saw at the restaurant then Masliat again at the boutique"

Bilal's expression changed instantly but he did not respond to Khadija's words.

"Mas, you love her, don't you?" Khadijah asked in a soft voice. He barely even heard his own voice.

"What do you mean, Khadijah?" Bilal stood up and started wearing his "I don't even know who that girl is" dress.

"Yes, but Mas is in love with her right?"

"Where are your silly thoughts from, Khadijah? I already have you, my beloved wife. How could I fall in love with that girl?"

"Why is Mas still covering her up? Every night Mas Bilal prayed and complained to God about your feelings, Mas. I heard all of it. Mas has fallen in love with the girl" Bilal helplessly looks into Khadijah's eyes staring at her full of wounds "That's right, Mas?"

"Khadija. i.e., that's not right" Bilal walked up to the window and stared out. While Khadija tried to hold back his tears that would soon burst out.

Khadijah approached Bilal and hugged him from behind.

"Did Bilal love me?" he asked and leaned his head against Bilal's back. Bilal immediately turned around and pulled the khadijah into his arms.

"Of course, Khadijah. You're my wife, I'll always love you" Khadija cried hearing that, she tightened her arms around Bilal.

"Did Bilal fall in love with me? like a man in love with a woman. "

Deg

Hearing the question, Bilal was silent and even his body was stunned. He also let go of his embrace, he walked and looked for something in the drawer when it was just to avoid khadijah. This made Khadijah even more sad.

"Why did Bilal do this to me, Mom."

"What doyou mean. I don't love that girl, stop asking that silly question, I don't even know who that girl is, I don't ever see her again after that boutique, khadija" bilal shouted in a high tone.

"But why Mas still dodges and lies, I know everything" Khadijah said in a sobbing that immediately made Bilal's heart melt and feel guilty for speaking in a high tone to his wife.

"Oh my God, I'm sorry, honey. I mean to yell at you" Bilal raised his hand to wipe away Khadija's tears, but Khadija brushed off Bilal's hand. Both of them were silent for a long time. Bilal sat on the edge of the bed, while Khadijah stood on his back to Bilal by the window.

Bilal looked very frustrated, he finally spoke up.

"Alright, I will marry him" he exclaimed, which immediately made Khadijah surprised, even as if lightning struck him, Khadija immediately looked at Bilal in disbelief.

"Don't Mas Bilal know the girl?"

"It's not the girl, but your friend you want me to be with"

"What?" khadijah asked not to understand.

"Why? Don't you want me to remarry for a thousand reasons?" Khadijah was silent "If remarrying makes you happy, I'll do it"

"Why do you agree now? didn't you always refuse?"

"True, maybe it's time for me to follow your will, as long as it makes you happy. But are you sure you want honey? Maybe right now, this is easy for you, Khadijah. Because you always want to give the best for me, but is your heart really sincere? Is your heart willing to share? Tell me, Khadija?"

Khadijah could not answer. It was like losing faith in himself. Khadijah lowered his face and started crying again.

"I know you, Khadijah. You love me so much, and you're not really ready to share your love.Just because your friend says with polygamy maybe I can get offspring from my wife later, because my wife later, you also began to have ambitions for it in order to give me what I needed" realizing her stupidity, Khadijah's tears were broken "If you are so sad and hurt when I fall in love with another woman , then what if I marry another woman, spend time with her and give myself completely to her, can you bear your pain?"

Khadijah covered his face with his palm, imagining that he could not afford it and it was so painful.

"I do love that girl, I'm sorry" Bilal whispered softly. Khadijah looked up instantly and looked at Bilal with his puffy eyes.

"Then, why did Mas Bilal not try to get to know the girl, did not I really want Bilal to get married again? Bilal can take that chance, right?" Khadijah asked in his hoarse voice and was still accompanied by his cries.

"What should I do, Khadijah. To a 17-year-old girl. At that time, I followed you to the jasmine hotel because there was still a book left behind, but at that time, I saw you talking to the girl. I ... I was very surprised. I never thought that girl was Uncle Rahman's daughter. And he's a child. Tell me, what am I supposed to do? I really love her. But even if you allow me to marry her, then will Uncle Rahman and Aunt Kulsum allow me to marry their little daughter? Will they give my youngest daughter to me as my second wife?"

Bilal's words made Khadijah even more sad. Sad to realize how much love Bilal had for other women, and sadder because Bilal could not get his love. Khadijah approached Bilal and sat down beside him, Bilal hugged Khadijah and cried. Crying for hurting his wife, and crying for his unrequited love for Asma.

"I'm sorry Khadijah. I'm sorry for hurting you by falling in love with her, I really did not accidentally do it, I accidentally. I'm sorry I made you cry" Bilal's tears that fell on Khadija's shoulders, making Khadija stunned, he never saw Bilal fall to tears like this. Bilal further tightened his embrace when Khadijah did not return his embrace and just remained silent. It makes Bilal feel guilty.

"I beg you, forgive me, my wife. I'm sorry I can't keep my heart"

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Tbc....