My Ustadz My Husband
The Part 18

That gentle gaze turned into a sharp and angry look, that guilty feeling became hatred. Asma looked at Khadijah as if he was going to exterminate the poor woman, he clenched his hands, walking in slow but steady steps.

"You made a huge sacrifice for your husband, wow. Women are amazing, every woman will envy your courage, Ma'am . including also I "Ashma standing right in front of Khadijah.

"Asma, please don't keep getting angry, I did all this for Bilal's sake. For the sake of her love for you"

"Omong empty "excited Asma full of emotion "you did all this for yourself, because of your ambition that wants to make your husband happy, but what should this way? By trapping me and sacrificing me?"

"Aspie... Try to understand, I've told you everything, hoping you understand Mas Bilal's feelings"

Asma grew angry at Khadijah's defense.

"What do I have to understand? That I'm his wife now? And I don't know when that happened. All I understand is one, you do all this for yourself, for your ambition to be a perfect wife and to be able to give whatever makes your husband happy"

"Astaghfirullah's... Asthma. That is not ambition at all. Giving happiness to the husband is the duty of a wife"

"But what should surpass his abilities? You know, the more man strives for perfection, the more his flaws seem. Because in reality humans have limits, but mbak want to exceed those limits, and that makes Mbak become selfish and arrogant. Is there anything worse than both traits?"

"Asma, I'm not selfish. I have been very heartened to ask the woman my husband loves to be married. Where is my selfishness and arrogance?" Khadijah could not stem his anger getting such accusations from Asma.

"That is the place to your selfishness, which you think is only your husband, your husband, and your husband. Even you sacrificed the life of a girl you had nothing to do with, and you didn't even know. You dragged me into your ambitions, how could you decide about my life? Don't you think how I feel? How is my wish?" Asma screamed in annoyance and she started sobbing, unable to bear the feeling that seemed to tear her heart apart.

As in the lightning strike, Khadijah could only silence hearing the words Asma that seemed to stab right in his heart.he did not know how to deal with the anger of Asma so great at him.

"Aspie.. ."

"You are also very arrogant, you boast of your husband's perfection, you guarantee that he will make me happy, you guarantee that he will be fair, what is his guarantee that all your words are true? Tell me, what's the guarantee? You begged my Abi for this wedding, and now... To whom can I plead to untie this marriage?"

Asma shouted full of anger right in front of Khadijah's face. It made Khadijah even more shaken.

"Aspie... Not like that, please understand" Khadija said in a trembling voice. He was unable to hold back his tears any longer.

"What else do I need to understand?" she then "Since knowing this truth, my heart always blamed Abi, thinking she was the one who set me up with her. And my heart also feels guilty to you, Ma'am. I thought I had hurt you because of my existence in your husband's life, I had become the third person in your household because of Abi. I think just like me, you've been hurt by this crazy marriage, I sympathize and even apologize to you... But apparently, you are the mastermind. You dragged me into this relationship, you made me the third person among you. Can't you feel the way I feel about all this?"

Asma lowered her voice, she again cried and sobbed, limply, Asma dropped herself on the ground. She covered her face with both palms, her body shaking with her increasingly crying. And Khadija who could not bear to hear the words Asma, powerless to see the state of Asthma, immediately ran away from Asthma. Khadijah cried, not because Asma accused him but because everything Asma said was true, he was selfish, evil, and arrogant.

Intentions want to do the best, but it turns out that in his efforts, he has hurt others without him knowing.

Without them knowing, Bilal had been standing not far from there, listening well to what they were talking about. And his heart was so sad and aching that Asma heartily accused Khadija of being selfish and arrogant. Bilal looked at his prayer beads that he had repaired, he did not have the heart to see Asma who was so hit, but he was also angry because Asma could not understand Khadijah's sacrifice and instead accused him.

With wide steps, Bilal approached Asma who was still crying.

"Happy?" asked Bilal in an angry tone.Hearing that, as soon as Asma looked up, his gaze met with the gaze of Bilal.for a moment, the two of them looked at each other, Bilal could not see the teary Asma, but he also has no power to hold back his anger over Asthma allegations. Asthma immediately stood up and wiped her tears with the back of her hand.

"Hurt? who hurt who, huh?" shouts Asma while trying to stop her crying.

"You've hurt Khadija, Zahra. Why are you accusing her like that? He's not at all what you're accusing of"

"I don't recite, I'm telling the truth" Asma still maintained her gaze on Bilal.

"That's wrong, Zahra. You ....you Engga will be able to understand it" want to feel Bilal yelling Asma, but he tried to restrain himself and also did not want to hurt Asma "You are still a child, kanakan, that's why you won't understand Khadija. Try to think like an adult. The sacrifice he made for me wasn't easy, he got rid of all his feelings for me, and it wasn't selfishness,"

"If you already know I'm going to kanakan why do you still want to marry me? Why don't you hang on with your wonderful wife?"

"Because I love you, Zahra. And it was my fault, when my wife found out about my feelings, she tried to give me my love. What's wrong with that?"

"Wrong, of course very wrong. I'm human, you can't have me without my permission, without my knowledge I'm not something you can claim to be yours"

"Zahras... Abi Rahman asked me to do this, I tried...."

"So now you blame Abi?"

"That's right, Abi's wrong"

"If it's not your wife's fault, it's not Abi's fault, then it's your fault.why are you doing this? Huh uh? Answer me?"

Bilal turned his face from powerlessness with the look of Asthma who seemed to want to kill him with his anger.

"I had to do it...."

"So you're forced to marry me?" Asma shouted in interruption before Bilal finished his words "Then you better divorce me"

"ZAHRAS...." Bilal immediately snapped at Astma and he stared intently at Asthma making Asthma gasp for a moment. Under the moonlight, Asma saw clearly Bilal's eyes gleaming with rage. His jaw hardened and he clenched his hands tightly until his fingernails whitened.it, of course, made Asthma's guts shrivel and he was silent sculpting instantly, even to breathe it was difficult. Asthma took a step back and looked fearfully at Bilal. For a lifetime, this was the first time he had been snapped like that.

Bilal who just realized he had made Asma afraid, immediately turned his face away, guilt lingered in his heart, he got out of control hearing the word divorce that he never imagined he could say so easily.

The two were silent for a long time, only the sound of the wind blowing increasingly louder, the atmosphere was getting colder and gripping. Bilal turned his body and he saw Asthma who still looked in shock because of her snapping. Instantly Bilal's gaze turned wistful, his facial muscles loosened, he pulled Asthma's hand, grabbed her and Asma could only be silent, he was too afraid to speak what else was rebellious. Bilal carried Asthma's hand on his lips, and kissed her gently.Warm sighs flowed in Asthma's blood, a feeling he had never felt before. But then again, he could only shut up and look at Bilal with his eyes back in glass.

"I'm sorry, Zahra "excited Bilal in a low voice, hinting at his guilt "I don't deliberately yell at you, forgive me" Bilal again kissed Asma's hand with a small peck, which creates a spark of tingling taste in the heart of Asthma. Then Bilal put the prayer beads in the palm of Asma's hand and said "Think about it again, Zahra. You decide whether our relationship can be continued or not, I will accept whatever your decision is. Because I love you so much, I can't force you. Two more days my family will come here, if you refuse me, then my family will not come and I will let you go"

Asma was still silent to digest the words Bilal said, he looked at the old prayer beads that Bilal had fixed, his heart was pounding, his breath was stuck in his throat, his mind arrived empty and it was like lost direction, he was lost, lost somewhere dark.

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Tbc.....