Reflections
The One I Want

I woke up, the bright morning sun breaking through the window of my room. Surprisingly, this time without being punctuated by nightmares. However, my eyelids felt so heavy, as if I could not move them. Every centimeter of my body seemed to be crawled by a burden that I was difficult to bear. Shit, my mind was struggling right away, I really don't want to go to school today. Something like suffocating my breath, pushed me deeper into the approaching world of darkness.

I know, if I don't go in, chances are no one will care about where I am there. No one will feel lost, no one will realize if I am completely absent. No one will blame me.

I sat on the edge of the bed, contemplating in the morning silence. For a moment, the desire to stop, to stop everything appeared so strong..Please, can I stop with everything?

I entered the classroom, but could not help but be shocked as my gaze turned to my usually neat table, now looking chaotic with irregular graffiti. I felt a sense of annoyance begin to creep up from within me, and my gaze could not escape the chaos. I tried to figure out who might have done this, observing the reactions of the classmates who were busy with their respective affairs. However, my astonishment grew as I realized that none of them were talking about this incident. Supposedly, this is a questionable matter, right?

I felt anger growing on my chest, wanting to burst out. However, the subtle voice of the ghost came to disperse the turmoil of my feelings. "Do you have the right to act like that?" he said with a sharp tone. "You ever see your own behavior?"

Slowly, his words pierced through my anger. "Now you want to be angry? Don't joke, "he said again, his soft voice was like a cooling breeze. As it flowed like a slow flowing river, my anger began to subside.

Suddenly, I realized my stupidity. Of course they know. I was too stupid not to realize this. Everyone here knows, but they choose not to care. They don't see this as a big deal. People say, people who just keep quiet when they see, participate in the action. And now, I'm starting to understand the meaning behind that sentence.

The break time came. To go to my favorite lonely place, I had to pass the basketball court. My heart is beating uncertainly due to uncertainty.

I should have known it was a mistake.

Suddenly I felt a violent collision from the Rico plot at that time, causing me to fall. "Sorry, sorry, I didn't mean it" he muttered in a small voice, though I knew it was just an act, while his friend laughed following behind him.

As I tried to get up and refocus, my head clashed with the basketball that was suddenly thrown by them. A sharp stabbing pain in the temple, as if to remind me that I will never be free from this intimidation.

Returning to class after the lesson, fatigue began to feel ambushed. However, as I looked at the table where I usually put the bag, my heart rippled as my bag was gone nowhere.

I circled around, hoping to find signs of my bag.

"Eh, where's my bag?" I mumbled in confusion. It was impossible for such a big bag to just disappear.

I searched around, picked up the books, looked under the table, and checked the corners of the class. But after a careful search, my eyes caught something that made my heart rustle violently. My black bag, as if ignored and worthless, was inside a trash can.

I let out a long sigh, trying to calm myself down from the annoyance that was starting to overflow. Damnit.

Dusk rays began to crochet the sky, creating a beautiful reddish and orange hue. I chose to sit on a park chair that was usually crowded to use for lunch. The calm and cool air crept around me.

Unexpectedly, a voice suddenly appeared, tearing apart the existing peace. "Yo, catch!" that call caught my attention. A bottle of drink flew towards me, and with a reflex move, I caught it in the air. When I glanced towards the origin of the sound, it turned out to be Katherine.

"...?" Not really understanding what just happened, I looked at Katherine with a puzzled expression.

"This is for yesterday the day after tomorrow" he said with a big smile. His index finger pointed at the bottle of drink I managed to catch.

"Oh yes, I forgot," I replied rather awkwardly, feeling stunned by her kindness.

The ghost girl, who has been seen less and less recently, makes me almost

forget that "good deed. I snorted to myself, as if to blame my ineptitude.

Looking at my seemingly chaotic expression, Katherine asked in a concerned tone, "Hey, are you ok?"

Just now the emotional fire inside me wanted to explode. "Am I look ok?" Those words came out uncontrollably, while my eyes started to turn red with anger that just popped out.

Damnit. I don't know why I'm talking like this. I hadn't spoken to anyone for so long, and now talking to Katherine, who had appeared all of a sudden in my life, seemed to open the emotional faucet that had been sealed shut.

"Haha, sorry, stupid question," he said with a chuckling expression. Maybe he understood that this was no small matter to me.

"Ck, this is really annoying" I said, trying to contain the still bubbling anger.

Katherine smiled. "Hehe, no need to worry. As a fellow.I can give you some tips not to be too severe."

“If you are beaten, try to be more limp, do not be too tense,” he began to give his advice, tips for dealing with this kind of situation. However, the more he spoke, the more irrelevant it felt. Whatever he said, it was impossible to do. I feel like everything feels like a wasted effort. Maybe the best thing is to just be quiet, as I have experienced

all this time.

My eyes were fixed on Katherine's arm, which was slightly covered by the school uniform. I saw a bruise on his skin, and quickly, I realized that it was not as small as I expected. How'd he do it? Why would he do this? The question just flashed through my mind, and in

beyond that astonishment, there is an unspoken expression of empathy.

When our eyes met, I felt as if he understood my thoughts. In the unspoken silence, there was gratitude emanating from within my heart. Even if it's just a little bit, I know there's someone who cares.

"Oh yeah? Tell me again" I asked, trying to prolong our conversation.

I don't know why, I didn't realize it before. That's when I saw it right. Amidst the gentle morning light, the thin glasses he wore added a clever impression and focused on his face. Her short hair was as high as the nape of her neck, slightly wavy, and light brown in color hanging gracefully beside her face. His glittering eyes showed an invisible intelligence and spirit at first glance. He was not the type to steal attention with a loud shout or laugh, yet his presence exuded a calm and alluring attraction.

“...In your opinion, when will they stop?” my question, interrupting the created residence.

He sighed, turned away from me, his eyes directed towards the crowd of people who seemed busy with their routines. "Something out, maybe stopping, maybe not. Who knows?" he answered while looking at the distance. "But that doesn't mean there's enough reason to quit. It may take some persuasion, or it may not. But little by little, over time it can be a hill, right? Perhaps, one day it will subside," he continued with a faint smile.

I pondered for a moment. A man like this, why should he be the one? My mind is spinning in frustration. Damnit.

“...I hope the house a lot of mosquitoes,” I said spontaneously.

“…???”

We are talking. More precisely, I am trying to prolong this conversation. I continued, while facing the darkening twilight, until finally the time came for the two of us to go home.