SECOND TIME - LOVE IN CASTE
15. ALL IS WELL

Comfort, convenience,

I really felt it when I was with Mr. Jonathan - who I now call Nathan. The little attention he gave

I made me forget myself and the wall I built on purpose is starting

eroded. He really is a man who loves to be rejected. Even until the moment

this I haven't really accepted being my man. But I know that all

his actions and words as well as his attention were pointed towards that direction.

Sometimes he comes home just to spend his free time. Sitting telling me everything in front of my house. Miss also already knew what she meant because I told Miss everything. He only gave me support and always advised me if not all men like men who have been in my past.

He doesn't know what traumatized me wasn't actually his man, but his family.

"Elo has to treat loe's own mind. Loe should be able to suggest that not all men are like your past" he said at the time.

As I said, I'm still not sure if Nathan's telling me the truth one day.

What if Nathan's parents were the same as Leonard's parents

looking in terms of dignity, dignity, caste and seed, bebet the weight of the family?

If that's the case, am I not more stupid than a donkey?

Falling on the same thing for the second time.

This afternoon I was pensive on the back porch of the house, my eyes were fixed towards the beautiful little garden but my mind was out of nowhere. Tomorrow is the day we decided. Tomorrow may be the future of my life. Yes, about two weeks ago Nathan revealed his heart

actually I can guess and ask me to give an answer tomorrow.

Two weeks ago.

We were having dinner, as usual we were in the vip room. I don't know why, but he's always on reservation

vip room if you are eating in a restaurant like this. I'm actually comfortable

with that, but too much in my opinion, fear of addiction, hahaha. Room

open actually does not matter to me, after all the food can be the same. Even if you want to

eat pecel catfish or roadside chicken too, come on. That might be more

tasty rasane. More savory and more pronounced oil.

"I know that you understand what my goal for these few months has been close to you" he said suddenly

holding my fingers on the table.

"I'm not an ABG who is pounding with charm, and to be honest I'm tired if I have to image you much longer" he said

then and I snorted amusedly at the imaging word he said.

What the fuck, do you want to be a candidate for imaging?

" Ynara, I'm serious about you. Will you be my life partner?" to the point once and seemed calm even though I knew he must be

nervous and I was just about to open my mouth to answer but straight away

cut off by his later words.

"Ssssttt, I don't in a hurry.

Just think about it first but I hope your answer doesn't disappoint," coercion?

"Tomorrow I will go to Surabaya, I have a little work there, maybe for two weeks or maybe it can be faster," he continued while stroking the back of my hand

with his thumb.  I'm still at home

shut up, let this man say anything. But my silence is not

just any silence, my mind is far from buana and filled with negative things that will happen later if I answer yes.  What if his family rejects me? What if the people around him judge me only after the money? And many how

if the others perch pretty in my head. I shook my head faintly for

get rid of the voices that are vying to come out of my mouth.

"I'll pick you up when I get back and we'll be here again. You have two weeks to think about

that," he continued, still stroking my back. I looked at my hand

will it be the same eventually?

I haven't even

he said a word, but was told to shut up and answer it in two weeks. I have an answer now, why wait two more weeks? Waste of time know not...

---------

"How do you feel when you're doing doi?" I miss asking as I prepare to sit next to me. When is this handsome girl here? Didn't he say he was going to the cafe?

I looked at him without

answerthe question. Replaying a few of our meetings.

Find out and confirm Nathan's presence for some time right next to me.

"Comfortable?" I asked her because I never heard my answer.

I nodded slowly with doubt. Jeez, this expression is like I'm a unstable man who is baper-bapernya.

"Feeling safe?"

I nodded again.

"Expressive?"

Doubt I nodded again. Not so expressive actually just that, more visible some expression than usual.

"So, why hesitate?" As if I could see my doubts and glitches.

"Gue don't know how heavy the problem loe same ex-loe so long as loe-sampe loe cover up this way."

"....."

"Not pretentious, but from my inner glasses, Nathan is sincere as loe, I can see from the way he looked loe, how to talk softly to loe as if there were no limits, I can see from the way he looked loe, the way he treats me so gently, so, where are the doubts?"

"Many, many" I answered briefly. In my mind was running around the image of the parent who refused.

"Tomorrow, he asked for my answer, yesterday before he went to Surabaya he shot me" I said at the end.

Shoot it? My language is like anja anjirr.

"I'm comfortable fitting in with him, I feel safe and he's open minded."

"Mom?" As if I knew my doubts again Miss asked curiously.

"You know I'm not a monkey-loving teenager anymore, I'm old and it's time to think seriously, I-I-"

"The long opening loe, essentially a cave want otw nih," cut it impatient

driver, don't know he I'm this upset again, monkey.

"I'm afraid of people

old man and his family don't take it as they used to" I said at the end and told him my problem before. If he doesn't, yeah.

"What you want to do is he is not his family, ribet very loe brain, if not in blessing, sono aja eloped, and back to ntar

bring the tail, guarantee a thousand percent will be accepted and approved," he said with so lightly.

"Nteng very well thought loe?" sahutku a fierce snob.

"Loe ribet dah, that-that's just in thought, now that must loe thinkin, that can make loe heppi. Heppy

aja first, if the pain comes it's business later. I have pulled it, no

mutu bangat galau loe. I was in perfect love also still think long. Stay

I'm so hard."  Nagging

stand up and go straight away. Substantial.

If you want to nurutin

what he said is easy to be warm do not think about it later. Gosh Mommy

the decision is now for later as well.