The Shackles of Love are Lying
Awareness to Return

Najibs

In the car it was quiet. Sheza still looks sad. He looks lazy and does not want to be disturbed. Several times Iza squirms, not even able to shift her sadness.

If I had known Antony was coming, I wouldn't have invited him. Because I don't want him to remember his painful past either.

Let alone him, I was still sick when I remembered the incident at that time. The day I got to marry Sheza. Don't ask me how tormented I am to accept Sheza who still thinks of her. It's the past, it doesn't need to be remembered.

Before we left, Sheza had good faith to improve our relationship. But with the presence of Antony, that hope seemed to be in vain.

He also made me very jealous and angry. Jealous of her love for Antony. Angry! ... Why should he? ., that's what I don't understand. He who had already incised the wound in his heart and made papa Arya very angry.

Mana Sheza was also crying over that jerk again. Doesn't he think about my feelings. I'm her husband, who's always there for her, but it's not for me.

I'm angry, but should I be angry? .. My heart is wounded .. but should I be hurt? ...

Why am I thinking too much about him. Not necessarily, he was thinking about my feelings. Even though he knew that the feeling he harbored was wrong, he did it anyway. How I tortured myself with this relationship.

Astaghfirullah al adzim .. as a husband, I cannot direct and guard the heart of the wife to the extent that she has not been able to turn away from her past. It even makes him sicker. By taking Aina as a wife.

But Aina has given me happiness I haven't seen in years. He is patient, loving and unselfish. And he's the one who always paid attention to Iza rather than her real mama. With him, I can calm down and live a real home life.

Was I wrong to defend it. Especially now that she has borne the fruit of our love. I can't let Aina go, even if Sheza or Papa Arya asks.

Not felt, finally our trip arrived at the destination. The house was large, majestic, luxurious yet looked silent. The mood of its inhabitants was silent, between me and Sheza. Lebay ...

"Sheza, we're here." He regained his senses and immediately rubbed his face to restore his consciousness which along the way had gone nowhere. He came out, and I was still inside.

"Not come down?"

"I'm straight back ... Aina is sick." Last time I stayed a little limp, probably baby-covered. But still, it makes me anxious.

"Sister, don't leave me." Sheza is in a mess right now, I need a friend. But I was worried about Aina.

"No matter how I feel right now, I don't want to part with you, Brother."

This means what ...

"I beg you, Brother .." His face was still clear, still wrapped in sorrow and tears, making myself unable to leave him.

"alright. Brother between you sleeping"

I gave up, followed his wishes. I opened the car door and got out. I immediately brushed Sheza's hand from the second door, to retrieve Iza's body, which was still sound asleep.

"Come on!" take me later, when Iza is already in my arms.

We walk in silence. I don't want to bother him either. He might be quieter, because he is sad. Advice or just a solitude-breaking comment can make him hurt. He needed time alone, to free him his soul from thinking about that jerk.

"Kok, Iza was taken, sister?" I looked at him with a smile.

Iza I didn't bring it. I want him to sleep with us. At least there is something that can be a barrier when we sleep together.

"Let him occasionally feel the embrace of his mother. It's okay, right?"

He neither accepted nor refused. It was just that he seemed to be walking faster and was annoyed. Ah, leave it ....

I don't give a shit. I immediately took Iza to the room and wanted to put Iza in the middle of the bed.

"Mama, can you please take the sandals off." I intentionally called her Mama. So that she realized that she also had the right to be the real Mama for this little girl.

I intentionally kept him busy. Whether he accepts or not. So that he does not dissolve in his feelings that make my chest tight and sick.

She didn't refuse, and then she helped me get those sandals off Iza's feet.

I don't know why I want to tease him again.who knows can distract him from thinking about him. I think this is one solution to try.

"Mama, can you get me a change of clothes." There was no answer, he immediately stepped away, obeying my wishes.

Kok .. I sanctioned yes, whether he was aware of it or not. Lest something go wrong? I immediately put Iza down and followed her down.

I haven't opened the door yet, he's come first. With a change of clothes for Iza.

"It's Brother." He handed the clothes to me

"You wash your face first, you know. And change of clothes, Iza sleeps. Let's relax. Don't think about it!"

"hmm .." That's the answer yes if you're lazy to talk. Or not like being disturbed. Moreover, listening to the stacked sentences like I said this time. I was deliberately ..It is better to hear his chatter and his effect than to have to watch him who is silent, and grieving.

There was no rejection from him at all. He went straight to the bathroom with a change of clothes. I looked forward to sitting next to the sleeping Iza. Then she's very sweet. And I have to admit that her face is very sweet just like Antony's.

"Sister, I'm done." Then she sat down in front of the dressing table, cleaning her face. Routine activities before bed that he never absent to do.

I immediately stopped rubbing my daughter's head and hair. And get up to the bathroom by first taking a change of clothes in the closet.

Just change it inside, as usual. Not ashamed, she's my wife. But I'm not used to undressing in front of him. Maybe because of my feelings of thinking of him as a sister, which prevented me from doing so.

Out of the bathroom, the body is fresh, for rest will be more comfortable. I lay my body down next to Iza. Wanted to close my eyes, but I thought of Aina's condition.

"Mrs ...." Apparently Iza was dreaming.

"Even in sleep he calls you. Don't you know?"

Sheza smile. He did not sleep immediately but rested his body on the head of the bed first.

His face wasn't as dark as when we just got home. She was no fresher and more beautiful to the eye.

A moment in amazement looked at the little girl beside him. He touches his face. There was a smile on his lips. I was delighted with the happiness that began to be clearly depicted on his face.

"Mas, is she my daughter?"

What kind of question is this .. whether he doubts his daughter.

"Of course she's your daughter, Sheza. Don't you remember, you gave birth to her."

His gaze did not shift from Iza.

"When was he born?"

"this month. Aina and I are planning to have a birthday party for her."

I heard a rough breath coming out.

"I ignored him. I don't deserve to be her mother. Her daughter's birthday doesn't know."

"Don't do that, you're still his mother."

"I want us to throw a party for him, not Aina."

There was nothing wrong with his request, I immediately agreed.

"