Turns out I love
Part 3 - Not Me

Everyone encouraged me to accept this match. I really don't accept. I want to live my own life as I choose. I don't want to marry a man I never loved. Let alone love, just meet new today.

Why the hell, that guy was even cuddled. This also concerns him. He whose life is governed by others. Even if it was his own family. He should have kept talking. Aaah cowardly guy.

I continued to curse the man whose plan was to be betrothed to me in my heart

"Sir, the guy in front of it. Good man, Kak Ali's been investigating him."

Brother Ali patted my shoulder. Ali has even investigated the guy. He knew this long before this meeting took place. Why is everyone doing this to you. Where is the family I know? Where they are always open to anything. Why is it changing now. I feel like I'm stuck in a big rock right now.

"Sir." Ali called me back.

I turned to him and he pulled me into his field chest. I don't know why it feels like crying, but I can't. Because there is anger in my heart.

I know that in my family there is a tradition of being betrothed.it's just that I was also shocked because it is still awake until now.

I guess after so long no one got married in our family, the matchmaking was forgotten. Apparently not. The matchmaking has remained and now I'm experiencing it.

My mother started to come up to me and stroked my long hair.

"Tari, I'm sorry Mama didn't talk about this before with you. We have all decided that you can get the best man and we know the seeds, bebet and the weight of his family. We're not gonna hit you, baby. We want the best for you."

My mother's words made me feel even more hurt. I've never been this angry with my mom. I hope this anger doesn't make me an ungodly child. I just want them to understand that I'm not ready to get married and don't want to marry a man that's not my heart's choice.

"But Mah ..." I even shed my tears.

It was not strong to hold back those tears. It felt like there was boiling water in my heart. I want to scream and say that I refuse this match. However, what power. I'm not living in a role-playing art world that can do anything at will, like the main cast.

I, who has always been a loyal audience of Korean dramas, had imagined that I would marry a man I love. The prince who uses the white horse that I always will.

As I continue to daydream. Mama took me to the living room and met my future husband's family. My body is so limp. It was as if I had no strength to stand. This heart really felt like it wanted to jump out of my body. And leave this body without a heart to be able to obey the will of my extended family.

"Dance, sit next to Abah."

Abah patted the sofa bench next to him. And mom looked at me while nodding small. I finally obeyed Abah's request by sitting next to her.

I squeezed my fingers hard. Before I finally landed myself on the couch. I sit down while I keep looking down.

"Dance, Aunt is the Mother of Kenzi. Auntie hope you'll accept this proposal."

A woman sitting right next to the man who was silent a thousand languages introduced herself.

"Tante and Om, they've prepared the ring. Hope you like it."

Mother Kenzi continued her words, while I was completely oblivious to her words.

Yes, God why should I get caught up in this matchmaking? Help me, cancel this proposal. 

I pray in my heart that this proposal never happens.

"Dance. My name is Kenzi, I'm ready to propose to you."

The guy talks like a robot. What kind of a guy he wants to be betrothed to me, a woman he has never met at all.

I heard that other family members when they were betrothed were not immediately proposed. They undergo introductions first until the emergence of likes. Ancient times may be synonymous with matchmaking.

Now is no longer the time of Siti Nurbaya who was betrothed to Datuk Maranggi.

I live in modern times. I'm not like uwak or my cousin's uncle or brother who's partly living in the age of matchmaking.

I really don't want to get married this way. It's gonna be a shitty wedding.

The man in front of me was like a dry canoebo. From the beginning, he entered Abah's house. He looked stiff, unfriendly and his person seemed to have no sense of humor. Since Abah and the other guests were joking. He just silently stared no response.

"Content, Om and Aunt will give you this engagement ring now. This is a symbol we have proposed to you. If you're ready to wear this ring."

The woman handed me a jewelry box with a ring. I just looked at the box without taking it.

Maybe I'm like that ring now. Being in the dark of the box, alone and feeling stuffy.

My chest is getting tighter. I didn't know I had to grab the box and open it, or just leave it as a sign of rejection from me.

"Dance, let's get the ring. You try whether it fits or not."

Mama seems very eager to match me with Kenzie. I don't know why all the family members are so supportive of this matchmaking. Who exactly is this guy? And what kind of family are they?

Question after question started to pop into my brain. I still have my eyes on the jewelry box. I didn't notice the box because I wanted to have it.

I was trying to think how to refuse it. I do not want them to be offended and do not want Abah's friendship with Kenzi's grandfather to be tenuous because of this unfulfilled match.

It was a situation that made me frustrated. A sudden marriage without notice.

A man who is like a dry kanebo who absolutely does not refuse to be betrothed. It was a situation that made me even more upset with the man.

I may be a member of this family, but not me if I easily accept this matchmaking. I am not like those who are easy to accept. I will try to thwart this matchmaking as best I can. I'll make sure this match is cancelled by me or by him.

I'll make that man who thwarted her maybe. Because he said that the family of women refused a proposal from a man. He said it could be stupidly difficult and would take a long time to get married. I don't want that to happen to me. I want to get married and have my own little family. But not with that guy