You Are Special
Have I Been Doing the Right Thing?

"You're so fucked up if you get drunk again" Roland put Felix on the passenger bench. Roland circled his car and got into the steering wheel.

Felix chuckles

"You know Roland, it's really torturing me. I miss him so much. You know how hard I held back my cravings and controlled my body so I wouldn't run to see him" Felix cried.

"You know Roland, love is so greedy the more you love her the more you want her to repay your love. But what I did to her was really painful. When she returned my love and released her fiance Raymond, I had to marry another woman without giving her any explanation. But sometimes the more described the more painful it becomes, isn't it Roland?" Felix turned his head.

Roland simply fell silent and looked at his best friend's pity. Roland sighed and then started his car engine.

"You know Roland how happy I am when he says love to me, like there's a bamboo propeller in my head that takes me flying into the air. But as soon as I saw Ashley staring at me expectantly I was like falling from heaven into hell" Felix said.

"Ouh you're so pathetic, man" Roland seduced while running his car away from Mika's residence.

"Yes pathetic" said Felix. Roland so feel bad because his intention to tease Felix turned out to be taken seriously by Felix. Roland sighed. Felix took his talk seriously naturally because he was drunk and in a troubled mood so did not catch that Roland only intended to tease him.

"I'm even so cowardly, I love him but I hurt him too, even I was his first man. How fucking I am" Felix smiled bitterly.

Roland just silently listened to the complaints of his friend who was drunk, afraid of wrong-doing said Felix felt stifled.

"You know Roland, once I got married to Ashley, I tried to suppress my feelings for Mika, but it turned out that I was more and more ambitious to have her. Isn't my life so poor, Roland?"

"I've hurt him, but I still want to have him. I don't even trust myself to be this asshole. I already have a wife but in my heart there is only her" Felix smiled bitterly.

"Tell me why you married Ashley, if it was because of her illness" Roland finally voiced his voice. He was quite curious why Felix was suddenly married to Ashley.

Felix nodded

" It was just a pretend marriage, I did it for Darren" she replied.

The Flash back On

Felix walked with light steps and a cheerful heart. She was sure Mika would soon be following her to the office once she met Raymond.

Felix whistled as he opened the door of his room. Felix frowned as soon as he saw Ashley in his room.

"You're here?" tanyanya approached Ashley.

Ashley nodded and smiled stiffly

"I want to say something" Ashley said cautiously.

Felix nodded

"Yes tell me, I'll listen to you" Felix smiled.

"It looks like you're in a happy mood" Ashley said as she looked at the smile that could not be separated from Felix's face.

Felix did not answer but just smiled.

"Felix marry me" Ashley asked as she looked at Felix expectantly.

The smile on Felix's face instantly disappeared. Felix sighed and looked at Ashley.

"Wouldn't we have talked about Ashley, I love Mika and you know how persistent I can be when I love someone" Felix said gently to avoid hurting Ashley. But the name rejection is as gentle as anything you say it will still hurt.

"If you could love her so much, why couldn't you love me so tenaciously, Felix. Was it our foundation that was less strong or indeed you never loved me as much as I loved you" Ashley cried.

"Ashley, if you'd seen how fragile I used to be and how broken I was, you wouldn't have said that to me. I admit I was wrong not to investigate it first but believe me I was also destroyed at that time, completely destroyed and devastated, but Ashley this has been five years and everything has changed"

"No, you're the one who turned Felix" Ashley denied half a snatch.

Felix took a breath.

"Yes, I changed. I'm sorry" Felix softened his voice.

"Ashley, what I'm saying is be honest as it is. If only I could direct my heart, I wouldn't want to hurt you by rejecting you or betraying my best friend Raymond."

"Ashley I'm not a good man who sacrifices my happiness only for the happiness of others, and Raymond's problem we've talked about. Ray has released Mika because he realizes Mika does not love him"

"Did Mika say she loved you" Ashley looked at Felix nanar.

Felix nodded.

"Yes, last night she told me her feelings and of course I'm very happy Ashley"

"You're happy but someone else suffers Felix" Ashley snorted.

"Mika has also promised me that she will suppress her feelings and ignore you but it turns out that it's just her wits"

"What do you mean Ashley, you asked her to ignore me. Jeez Ashley I didn't think you were the same as Noura, it's appropriate that Mika asked me to marry you it was your act" Felix said disappointedly.

"Don't equate me with that fucking woman Felix" Ashley snapped but had no effect on Felix at all. Felix just stared at him flat.

"I am very disappointed with your attitude Ashley, but this time I will try to understand it. Soon Mika will come here, I don't want her to misunderstand by seeing you here. So if you have nothing else to say please leave" Felix got out of his chair and walked over to open the door for Ashley to get out.

"Felix I'm seriously ill" Ashley said softly but could still be heard by Felix.

Felix stopped his steps and turned to face Ashley. Their eyes clashed. Felix gave a rough sigh.

"Ashley please stop this don't make it harder with you making up stories like this, because it won't affect how I feel about Mika" Felix said.

Ashley shook her head

"I'm not lying, you can see this is my medical record" Ashley handed over a map that Felix believed contained Ashley's medical records. Felix took it without opening it.

"Ashley, this might sound cruel to you but still I can't marry you. Marriage is not a game. Do you want me to marry you just out of pity because you look so pathetic?" felix blatantly said.

"I don't care what your reason is that it's important that you're willing to marry me"

"Don't be silly" Felix looked resentfully at Ashley.

"Why are you being so stubborn like this Ashley, I'm going to finance your treatment until you get well"

Ashley smiled bitterly and then shook her head

"My life is not long, Felix"

"What do you mean" Felix opened the file that Ashley had given him earlier and read it. Felix flinched, then then looked at Ashley with pity.

"But Ashley still I can't" he said cautiously. Tucked in regret in his tone.

"For Darren's sake, you've killed his daddy" Ashley's remark made Felix's body stiffen instantly. He looked at Ashley with a look of disbelief.

"After Darren was born I couldn't make him happy. Darren lost his daddy because of you Felix. Before I die I want to fulfill his wish by giving him a whole family. Felix you can see how happy Darren is to know that he has a daddy, especially he thinks you are the real daddy but the fact that you are the one who made him lose the daddy figure in his life. Felix at least show some guilt by fulfilling his wish" Ashley cried as she clasped Felix's still silent hand.

Flash back off

"Tell Roland if I've done it right. Tell me that the decision I took was not wrong" Felix muttered like a gargle, slowly tending to be unclear but still able to be heard and interpreted by Roland.

Roland let out a long breath. During listening to Felix's story earlier it seems he forgot to breathe so seriously listening to the outpouring of a heart of a Felix who was drunk.

"What you did was right dude" Roland patted Felix on the shoulder.

Felix nodded.

"Yes, I have to take responsibility for the mistakes I made. I had made Darren lose a daddy so I should have made him happy by sacrificing my feelings for Mika. But I really didn't expect it to be this painful to see Mika hurt and fragile. He was a victim of my past mistakes. You know Roland I'm so happy to know her pregnancy. I thought it was my son and planned to tell him everything that happened. There was no marriage as he thought. But it turned out that my expectations were too high and I was too greedy" Felix said in a very sad tone.

"Mika is pregnant with your son dude, it's just that God is testing your love and Mika who has not started but really is bound" Roland said in his heart.

T.B.C