You Forgot Me Your Queen
Shadow

In the middle of the night I woke up from a sleep that was not very good. Rather than bewildered what to do, I finally decided to take ablution and set up a night prayer.

After finishing the bathroom, I glanced in front of the mirror of my dresser that I passed earlier. I saw my face getting more and more haggard and my eyes were so swollen from crying before the drowsiness came. Even so the sense of tightness did not disappear as well, the tightness was still there, even though I tried desperately to eliminate it.

After I finished praying, I had not prayed, even I forgot to ask forgiveness from God for all my sins. My tears are back.

Astarghfirullah...Astarghfirullah...Astagfirullah...

I finally came to my senses, and I immediately raised my hand, to lay it down.

"O Allah, your trials are hard for me, but if you give them as a form to lift me up, strengthen me, please strengthen me. If it turns out, one day I give up, give me a sincere word in my heart, sincerely to take it off along with others, even though it is so heavy, but what else must I do. This self is very weak, O God... There is no power or effort other than the strength of you, my Lord, the Great and the Most Merciful. I have no more grip on life than to hold fast to You... Please strengthen me for my children."

My tears are flowing again, as if they never run out. But as much as possible I don't want to blame fate anymore. This is my path, this is the divine line that has been set for me.

After the completion of the prayer I finally decided to go to the little one's room, I think definitely there will be calmer and more comfortable, and I will not think bad about this destiny anymore.

Chequek!

The first thing I saw were the innocent faces of my sons who were sleeping comfortably. The face of the fusion between me and their father.

I stepped in to get closer, with my body completely drained and completely powerless, I immediately laid my body beside May.

I rubbed their hair one by one, and I kissed with all my love.

"I'm sorry Nda ya Nak, forgive Nda who can't keep the figure you always wait and you later, forgive Nda who makes you have to lose the figure that will be your role model, I'm sorry, Nda Reyhan, May."

I hugged both of them, and then I tried to close my eyes. For a while, I finally fell asleep.

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"Nda.." call Reyhan.

"Nda... Brother wants to go to school, sister belom breakfast Nda." call him again, with a little shake my body.

Astagfirullah...

What time is it? Why am I so late, my body also feels weak, even my breath blows hot.

"Sakita nda huh? " he asked Reyhan to me as his hand extended to my forehead like he wanted to check my body temperature.

I looked at my son's face weakly. My little girl is still in her bed.

"There's no dear papa, I'm sorry Nda yes, Nda is late waking up." I replied as I rubbed her cheek.

"Yaudah Reyhan will eat at school, yes Nda, just rest. It hurts again" he said.

I smile. Reyhan began to pull out a blanket to cover my body.

"Yaudah, but don't snack haphazardly Brother. Nda take your pocket money in Nda's room." I reply while trying to get up from my bed. Reyhan refused. He asked me to stay put.

"Let my brother take it." he said.

Oh my... Thank you for leaving this kind of child to me.

"Jaudah brother take the berikia well, be careful not much." my god, but I know Reyhan where dare to take money without my permission.

Reyhan nodded and smiled at me. He took my hand to kiss. Then switch to kissing my forehead.

My eyes were back in tears, for I saw Mas Hendri's shadow on my son. Yes what I saw and felt was Mas Hendri kissing my forehead.

"It's fine at home. Brother left. Assalamualaikum?" then his feet stepped, starting to move away from my eyes. As the shadow of Mas Hendri returned to Reyhan, he left along with Reyhan's steps that closed the door.

Mas's?

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