Your name is Secret
Reason Bayu

Niken felt like there was a wind*****pick and it was dragged along in the whirlwind. His head was dizzy and his eyes twitched. The opening sentence of Bayu was able to make tears fall on Niken's cheek and immediately Niken removed it violently. The waiter came to serve the coffee they ordered. They're speechless. Niken also did not know what to respond.

"Since when?" Lirih Niken's.

Bayu who was looking down and stirring coffee in his glass looked up, "What?" tanya Bayu was confused by Niken's sudden remark.

"Since when did you play crazy with Nabila until she got pregnant?" Niken clarified the question. Although sick but Niken was also curious about the reason Bayu left him.

Bayu exhaled heavily, "That was Niken's fault. We did it only twice. We have never had a relationship like you think. I'm tempted because I'm looking for an outlet for the rejection you always do. I didn't want to ruin you and as soon as Nabila came, offering me what I needed all this time, I took it out with him. But I swear we only did it twice."

"If you swear in the name of God will not change the reality bang, if you and Nabila ever make a reprehensible relationship. You say you don't want to damage me but you just damage Nabila and increasingly fall into a marriage that actually hurts me. I'm asking you once again, since when did you play crazy with Nabila?" asked Niken sharply even though his voice was getting louder. The cry that was being held down really choked her throat. Niken wants to scream it feels so that the tightness in the chest can decompose.

Bayu was silent for a moment, maybe he was confused to choose honestly or hold the sin for longer. Being honest is the same as hurting the woman sitting in front of him. The woman who from the first time Bayu saw it, has fallen in love too deeply even until now, the love is still firmly attached to the heart. But whatever the power, due to his stupidity, Bayu let go of the most valuable woman in his life. Who would accept himself selflessly and grievously.

"You remember when Nabila asked me to take him to his college?" ask Bayu. Niken frowned and tried to remember.

Niken's memory floated when that morning he and Nabila were both going to work and to campus. Nabila actually asked Bayu to deliver it to campus while Niken was also in a hurry to leave for work. Niken allows Bayu to take Nabila and himself relented by riding a motorcycle taxi. That day was the day that Nabila borrowed 300 thousand to him and until now the bell back.

"After returning from campus, Nabila again asked for a pick-up and asked for help to photocopy his proposal. Brother take him to the store, Nabila goes upstairs and Brother follows. Brother also does not know how the story we can do that Nik, the next day Nabila came again and we again did it." Bayu lowered his head after explaining the incident. Between shame, regret, anger, and a million other regrets.

"After the second incident, Brother had an intense contact through a cellphone and Nabila who often came to the store but we never did it again. Two months we were close and after that Brother slowly moved away because he realized what you did was wrong. Nabila still often send messages and calls but never responded. Nor do you know if it will happen like this. Nabila was pregnant but she had nothing to say until she went home to her parents and her parents came to Abang to hold her accountable."

Niken trembled when he heard a lengthy explanation from Bayu. He was looking forward to this moment. The moment where he could sit together and hear an explanation from Bayu why he could be left behind without cause. But when the moment happened and therefore he could hear, Niken just wanted to faint it feels. This hurts more than when Niken was distraught in search of Bayu's whereabouts which suddenly disappeared.

"Abang apologizes Niken, has messed things up. I realized that Brother was wrong. Once from your parents' house, we and our family lived in your house because of shame. Brother's behavior is not only smearing your own brother's family but your family as well." Bayu looked down and looked at his feet, "Abang can't meet you and explain everything."

Niken is silent. Hearing word for word Aris said and enjoying the pain. Niken looked around and people were enjoying the food menu they ordered while Niken to sip a glass of coffee presented in front of him just felt very difficult.

"I'm sorry if during my time as a boyfriend and fiancee, I'm not perfect. Now my brother is married and take good care of my best friend and my prospective father. Don't repeat the mistakes you made, I'm the one who felt the pain. May you be happy and lasting until jannah. I'll go home first." Niken immediately moved and went as fast as lightning leaving Bayu

Not because he hoped to be pursued by Bayu but Niken wanted to immediately shed tears that he had tried to hold back. Niken sat at the stop and immediately ordered an ojek. In the absence of rough tears that can not stop flowing. It turned out that this was a reality that he had to experience. The explanation he had been waiting for and hoping for ended with a wound.

The driver glanced at Niken through the rearview mirror, "Mbak, all right?" ask the driver. Maybe he was worried because Niken still continued to grit snot and cry in silence.

The driver was silent because he seemed to know, his passengers this time needed calm.

***

"Badly bad behavior. I didn't think he'd fall that way." As usual, after Niken told me there must be comments from his children.

This time, Niken took the time to tell stories on the sidelines of their night. Her husband is on leave for the night because there is work to be reviewed. Marcel deliberately bought snacks to accompany them to chat. Let them listen to their mama tell stories while their mouths continue to chew.

"Ikhlas very mama, meet Bayu and pray they last until jannah. If I was a mama I'd flush that face of the Bayu using hot coffee that mama has not been drinking." Marsya also commented with a fiery tone.

"Good prayers God willing will end well for those who pray. Even angry mama will not change the fact that they are married, right?" advice Niken.

Now Niken's tongue was very fluent in saying that sentence when the incident took place, Niken almost frustrated to face it. The nights he spent just crying and crying and having a day with a face that was as pale as a corpse.

"So what about Nabila's college, ma? Isn't he in college anymore?" ask Marcel curiously.

"Mama hasn't seen you since. We broke up the relationship. It looks like they moved because the Bayu copy shop near Hang Tuah school was closed. They disappeared like they were swallowed up by the earth."

"Maybe they're embarrassed to have to stay there." Marsya speculates which is taken by Niken.

"Therefore, you who will act must be really thought out. Don't just rely on lust and the heart but logic is also important. Every action we do will have consequences, whether it be bad or good." Again Niken slipped advice.

"Be careful about making friends, too, don't you, ma?" chirps Marsya who seems to be insinuating her mother.

Niken laughed, "Yes, don't judge people by the cover. What looks bad behavior is not necessarily bad heart and vice versa."

"Keep ma, what's your next life after not one more cost with Nabila?"

"After the mother was left out of marriage and not one more cost Nabila...."