A Youth In Life "AL"
This sick

Two days I passed by closing my eyes, not moving the slightest bit of my body from the bed, I drooped weakly, I did not mind anyone who called. I don't think I can recognize anyone who comes up to me. Empty!!!

****

I started to open my eyes again. But still I can't trust this world, I won't and never will. Because this world has separated me from Adhit's brother, someone I love.

For days I didn't want to give anything or energy to my body, I didn't care. Who will die, when, where???

Never thought when the bush, the grass that was originally green turned brown dry. Maybe that's how I feel now, just waiting to burn or buried with clay friendly to useless bodies on earth.

From far away, and out of nowhere to be heard by my ears is the sound of music, a music that I can't think about the song, maybe when I love you.

Am Em

Why did you leave, why did you leave

F C

When I started to love you,

Dm Am's

I wish you were my heart's lover,

F E

You are far from my life, though,

Am Em

Alone again, Alone again,

F C

When you left me, leave me,

Dm Am's

No one has ever spent my day,

F E

When I woke up from my sleep,

Am Dm G C

I want you, come and see me, come,

F Dm E

I'm telling you, I love you so much,

Am Dm G C

I want you, come and see me, come,

F Dm E

I'm telling you, I love you so much

Am Em

Alone again, Alone again,

F C

When you left me, leave me,

Dm Am's

No one has ever spent my day,

F E

When I woke up from my sleep,

Am Dm G C

I want you, come and see me, come,

F Dm E

I'm telling you, I love you so much,

Am Dm G C

I want you, come and see me, come,

F Dm E

I'm telling you, I love you so much

####

Increasingly does not stop my heart, it feels like roaring in pain. Line by line my tears were dripping more and more without any sobbing or crying coming out of my silent lips.

My body felt slashed by a knife, slowly my feet cheated into my arms and chest. Still I lay helpless, not one bit I set foot on the ground of this earth, which to me this earth has snatched away someone I truly hoped for. What I really dreamed of togetherness with him, and someone who became my true purpose.

How can I accuse God of being unfair,,

How can I make fun of the God who created me and Adhit's brother.

However, How could God snatch away Adhit's brother whom he had re-created to him so soon.

This is not the apocalypse of God !!!

But why does it feel like it's all over for me, it feels like it's been blown by a trumpet in my ear. Wh why?? Wh why?? Wh why??

There is no answer that anyone can give me. Again, my heart just keeps blaming God, my heart always flinch, why is it happening to me, why?? wh why?? and why??