Alexa Kethzie's
Chapter 39: Frustration

I opened my eyes because something disturbed my deception. It was the sunlight racing through the white curtains in my room.

Still with my eyes closed, I turned my sleeping position in the opposite direction to the light source in order to return to sleep in a comfortable position. But I felt unable to sleep anymore and finally decided to sit on the bed while rubbing my eyes that were still filled with drowsiness.

My head still hurts a bit but it's not like before. I slowly opened my closed eyes, after feeling that my eyes had begun to adapt to this room, immediately I turned my gaze to the right side to pick up something that I felt was still on the nightstand.

But I was suddenly aghast and immediately fell under my bed. I quickly closed my eyes so as not to see something as creepy as before. I held hard the blanket that was interested in me.

"You..have I told you how many times not to be close to a saint? Moreover, the scent of magic is still firmly attached to your body, you've done what with it huh." He said in a cruel tone.

"Sorry.sorry I-"

"What other reason are you going to say?"

I feel like I can't avoid it anymore. I am tired of having to hide too. I'm tired of having to keep running and I can't do it anymore. Moreover, it was concerning with Prince Shun.

Not getting an answer, my brother pulled the blanket I used to cover my face. He looked at me with a sharp eye, his eyes were fiery red like shining jewels and it made my body tremble violently speechless.

"Say who is that guy? Is he Shun Errent!" He asked with a sinister expression as if tucked away with a strong intention to kill.

I can only be silent for a thousand words hearing his question, it could be that if I told him afterwards, I would chase after Prince Shun with his teleportation magic which he said was comparable to the Prince's.

"Say!" Impact me.

I flinched then nodded even though I did not want to do so but my body is moving on its own without my consent. He smiled sinisterly then placed his hand on my neck and gripped firmly. His gaze was so deep in my heart and it was so scary.

"Ukhh-" I cried as I felt tightness in my chest from not being able to breathe oxygen.

"Listen! I'd rather you die at my hands than at the hands of that demon father!"

Hearing those words, tears in my eyes began to race out of place and I could only surrender while continuing to sweat coldly. One word that is now on my mind right now. I'm afraid I'm dead, and I can't reach my goal of being here.

If looking at my feet like this seems no different from the figure who had been hated by him all this time, they look the same, equally cruel. Some time ago, I felt that his heart was starting to melt. It turned out that my guess was wrong, I was not the sun that would give her light and melt her frozen heart.

"Sister,.uhhk uhuk? Why do you hate Saints? Uhkkp... Did he ever do anything to you.." While trying to let go of his firm grasp, I occasionally opened my mouth to try to take air. But in vain, I need more!.

I feel like I'm really going to get killed right now! I'm having a lot of trouble breathing.

"No." Reply firmly.

Now I started crying with a rather loud puff.

I hate this, I hate being treated like this. I hate violence in this house.. Do I have to be evil to be treated well and respected?.

My brother turned his face away from me, he started to let go of his grasp and then turned his back to me. I don't know what she's thinking right now that I'm obviously relieved I didn't die.

Even though I kept coughing, I still tried to catch my breath. After feeling my breathing stabilized, I got up and ventured closer to him.

"Why can't you not go near her, either?" Asked my brother with cold eyes but his gaze remained straight ahead. He puts a strong emphasis on the word 'can't not'.

"I-I feel like he's precious, he's my friend who respects and loves me, he's my savior when I'm in danger, he's not a bad guy, so why would you hate him?."

"Shut up!" Lavender covered her ears with both hands. He looked like he didn't want to hear my excuses at all. It makes me feel a little disappointed.

Why did he 'very' avoid it and not listen to me??. My inner. I also feel annoyed.

"I never understood my brother! My brother never cared about me! I don't want to have a brother like you who's always been selfish, never thought about other people's feelings and you've never had someone valuable to you, so you'll never know how I feel! I want to protect her more than anything!!."

"Silence!!!"

"Yes! you're not me so you don't know and understand what my problem is!" The problem again then passed leaving me alone. Leaving behind the sound of a very loud door knock.

After all, I felt like I would never be able to make up with him again. He is the person I admire most in my family.

I lowered my head letting the tears plunge down to the floor I was now on. My body went limp and I started to sit limp on the pedestal sobbing, I hate, I really hate the life of this world, I want to go back to my previous world, he said, I want to hug my mom and dad who always loved me.

I thought that when it first appeared in this world everything would go smoothly. But in the end, everything didn't live up to my expectations. Even on the way home yesterday, I was incessantly crying. I really feel very sad.

The miserable feeling I feel now

I'm sick of feeling it and want to throw it away. Something that became regretful for me continued to haunt me without me knowing.

Maybe it doesn't matter if I give up on all this, but I feel. If that's what I do then I will continue to lose.

I fold my lower lip, now I really feel that I am also selfish because I always think about my own feelings, I always attach importance to my pleasure and do not pay attention to others.

Maybe Lavender's sister was like that too, maybe she also had wounds that she had been silent all along. I'm sure everyone has their own suffering, but I'm not an easy person to understand.

I wanted to know but I was scared.. I'm afraid of death... I don't want to die anymore and I don't want to see anyone I love die.

I'm weary...

Can I just rest?

Can I not wait?

I want to run away from all this, but where? It's free, though,...

I feel like I have fallen into the abyss of darkness right now...

Elissa, the Prince and Lavender's brother are no longer by my side as my light...

Though I want them, I want to feel their kindness just a little bit at the moment...

'Don't ever leave me, ' I really want to say that to them.

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Seriate...