Cahya Looking for Light
Wedding Trauma

"Ma, I want to go to college but in Jogja" Cahya talks about college to her mom

"How many more months, you think about it, there are so many campuses here, why should it be so far away?"

"Just be sure ma, let's change the mood"

"Devan where? how many days have you not seen him, he knows you want to go to college in Jogja?"

"Busy work ma him, I will say later, I leave tomorrow ma, I want to survey first there and choose the campus first"

"Why is it so sudden?"

"No ma, I've been thinking about this for a long time, I happen to take 4 days off from work"

"You can be alone? why don't you ask Devan?"

"No need ma, I can be alone, anyways he is busy working, yes ma, I want to get ready first"

Cahya feels it's time to get away from Devan before she gets sicker, Cahya always draws her own conclusions, she never wants to ask about anything, she just harbors her feelings.

That morning he left, he did not tell Devan, after his departure Devan came and intended to pick him up.

"Ayya has gone Van, did you not know"

"It's a tan, isn't it usually a little afternoon?"

"Ayya to Jogja, he wants to study there, now again survey Campus"

"He's riding what tan?"

"Road up, it looks like it's starting to go"

"Okay tan, I'll take my leave"

Devan gets into his car, he punches the seat next to him

"Bod**me" Devan blames himself for Cahya's departure

Flashbacks

It was at a roadside cafe when Cahya saw him with a girl, he was deliberately there for Cahya to see, he asked for help from his coworkers.

Devan thought that, Cahya would be jealous and then come to him, but it was not like that happening now.

End Flashback

"When the incident Wati also at first he was just silent, why now I use this way" Devan was frustrated because the incident became like this, would not be able to follow because he had not long started working, because he had not long started working, but if not followed Cahya will certainly be increasingly misunderstood.

Devan then calls Cahya, but is not picked up and sends a message

"Ayy, why didn't you tell me you were going to Jogja? answer Ayya's phone!"

"I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you, I don't know where to start explaining, I'm sorry Ayy"

The message has been read but there is no answer yet, Devan is increasingly frustrated to see it.

"No need to apologize to me, I'm guilty of you, I'm sorry, you don't have to wait for me anymore, wait for anything, I've let you go"

A message from Cahya that makes Devan even more chaotic.

"Ayy, what do you mean! Now get back here!"

The message wasn't until which meant Cahya's phone was switched off.

Devan did not know what to do, because if the following would be useless because he did not know the purpose of Cahya, he could only wait, while waiting for him to pay the full price of the house when it was seen with Cahya, he could only wait, he planted many of Cahya's favorite flowers.

"It's only 4 days, just a survey of the place, maybe all playing, it seems like he's got a lot of thoughts"

Devan didn't tell me about the problem, he said goodbye.

Devan kept trying to contact Cahya and explain what happened, but there was no answer.

That day Cahya came home, when she saw Devan's car parked in front of her house, it means at home there is Devan, Cahya is actually not ready to face it directly but she strengthens her heart

"Relax Ayya, consider her just a friend or acquaintance, don't be angry, don't be sad, don't show any expression, just smile like you should face your friend" Cahya said

Cahya enters the house and as expected, Devan is there, she feels stubborn, but tries to cover it up

"Have come home Ayya, you want to take a shower what to eat first, this is Devan from earlier waiting for you"

"I took a shower, I'm tired"

Cahya then turned to Devan, really her heart was very stubborn but she kept trying ordinary

"Hi Van, it's been a while? what's there to do?" Cahya greeted him cheerfully but his words were not pleasant to hear for someone to say to his lover who had not met for several days.

Mama Cahya got up from her seat because she felt something was wrong, trying to give them space to solve the problem.

"Mom don't have to go, accompany her, I'll take a shower first"

"Ayy, I'm sorry, please don't be like this" Devan said

Cahya just smiled, she was already willing to cry actually but she held her back

"I told you I let you go, so we're nobody, you're free to go with anyone, now I'm so tired, I'm going up first"

Mama Cahya codes Devan to shut up first, and allows Cahya to go up to her room,

"Ayya was from a small independent life, he lived with his grandfather because from a small aunt lived to wander, actually had brought aunty wander, but there he was seriously ill and almost his life was not helped"

"When Junior High he was ugly, he was fat and black, he insulted and bullied his friends, but he never complained to anyone, he always harbored his feelings, then his parents divorced, he never complained to anyone, he had to live with his grandfather and had to look after his sister when he was a child and needed affection"

"He also seemed to be traumatized by marriage, he was afraid of being like an aunt, his life was very hard from when he was little, that's what made him always harbored his feelings, he was inferior, he was very humble, he was not confident and he was also already used to being abandoned, so losing someone was common to him, because even his father left him"

Mama Cahya told me about Cahya while trying to hold back her crying.

"Sorry aunt, I didn't know about Ayya's trauma, and instead kept getting her married, and I did something that made her feel like I was leaving her"

"Now you already know, sorry for the many shortcomings of Cahya, forgive aunt also for making it like that"

"Thank you aunt, for telling me this" Devan said

"You better go home first Van, his Ayya still seems tired, impossible to talk to.