DESTINY IS NOT WRONG
Ask In Time

This morning, I began to learn to wake up without Amel at the side, I had already felt the warmth of the morning air even though I had to shiver to endure the cold of the night, I was getting used to falling asleep without a blanket, I was getting used to falling asleep, I began to comfortably wash these tears with ablution and kissed as a substitute for my habit of kissing Amel's forehead before and after work.

Even if it only lasts a few weeks, but still those times will always be me

misses. “ You remain my great wife!”

I began to get used to it before going to work to perform Dhuha prayers and hajat and istikharah, may I take away all what became this anxiety, about my status that no longer knows its direction, he said,

“mu taken where?”

Looks like the wind and the storm knocked down our little raft, or we're secretly being targeted by pirates? And he knew that there was a precious thing in the raft, our hearts bound with Ijab and kabul, until finally a lot of pirates who want to destroy the raft that has torn the screen and can no longer afford to continue the journey. Or will one of us be stolen by sea pirates?!

After I started praying, suddenly a long green map fell from the table between the piles of books, right in front of the cool and open just like that. “ Yes, Allah....What is this?!” And I assume this incident was just my carelessness who did not neatly put the important archives of our marriage.

But there was no wind and lightning, why did this green map fall? Ah, maybe this is just an ordinary hunch, not as bad-marked as in FTV or soap operas. Purely this is just a carelessness that should have been the archive of the marriage book I kept well, somehow suddenly on the pile of tables that I magic into a bookcase. Or is this really a bad sign?

I just got to the front door of the office, there was no wind and rain. Eva called me all of a sudden, enough to make my heart beat.

 “Bang, there's a girl asking for a mobile number, can I give her?”

 “For?”

“Let's hear himself an explanation from him, and I don't want to interfere. Fear of slander!”

“What's wrong Va? Weirdo!”

“My question, may and does my mobile number I love him? That's it!”

“Heeeeem! Yaudah love me.”

Just a few minutes, the phone went into my pants pocket, All of a sudden, the shakes surprised me. And look foreign number and not found in contact phone book on HP. Usually I was lazy to dial numbers and people who were not clear, but because he called me many times using the office number, I finally answered the call.

“Assalamu’alikum. This is Mas Haidar well?”

“Iya right. Who is this?”

“I Ayu Mas. Oh, yes can I play to the mas office or we meet where rowdy?”

“For what?” I started to feel suspicious. Though just getting to know and casually ask for a meeting.

“True to her husband Amel?”

“Iya really, what's wrong?”My answer is curious

“I Ayu Mas, her fiance Uwis!”

I've heard that name before, but who said it? I tried to remember the name back and didn't realize Ayu I ignored it.

“Uwiiis?” My mind asked and kept on remembering and hunting back that name.

“Helloooo Mass! Can we meet today? After lunch?!”

“Oooh, bisaa...canaa....!”.I was surprised

“I'm going to Mas' office? Or we meet outside?” “Ke aja office!”

And I explained everything in detail the reference and address where I worked. And at exactly twelve in the afternoon, Ayu called me back, telling me about her whereabouts that had arrived in front of the office.

We sat on a road junction that seemed lined with antiques, on the border between South and Central Jakarta. Under the lush trees and right next to the stalls on the edge of the road.

Ayu began to open the conversation, starting from his person, to finally involve two names that are enough to make this heart want to be dislodged. And not believing what he was told.

“You don't slander! This is Yu's law country!!”

“Kalo Mas want proof, Saturday tomorrow we meet again. Let Mas see with his own eyes, ok?”

“Siap. What time?”

“It's morning!”Ayu was so excited.

“OK. Saturday morning well?” I made sure again, for Ayu and I met two days

impending.

“Iya.”

After we agreed there would be a second meeting, to make sure what he said was right and not just slander. Honestly, waiting for two days was like carrying a large stone on the shoulder, with legs tied to iron chains.

Heavy and too long to wait for him, every hour seemed like an hourglass with a small hole that forced the sand to move from the highest place to the lowest place, like water flowing from the top to the lowest point.

 Waiting for those two days, is not as easy as counting with fingers or simply by closing your eyes then the day that awaited has changed.

Eyes darkened to see the truth, my ears more comfortable to hear the babble and a thousand reasons, this heart is so peaceful to play with, I enjoyed the songs and wounded dances that I could not stop. This is a blind love gendre, where he managed to make me drunk kepayang, until finally became a opium that is difficult to remove.

And I miss it all, I'm so passionate, even though my love now has no qibla, I don't know where I jolt this fatigue.

Affordability

can I laugh at my stupidity?! All about the time that will

answer the secret of all this....

This was the day when the tiger had its teeth removed one by one, and this was the day when the sun was so hot, as if dim with a dark cloud.

Perhaps this is what is called rain without wind and thunder without lightning ? As I saw the angels walking hand in hand carrying the black umbrella, what is this??!

And we also slipped between the bars of the gate that was so tightly closed, apparently Ayu understood the condition of the house perched and so flexible but written large on a white plywood.

“Receive Kost-an” what is this place?! And what did Ayu bring me here for?! Why does my heart want to dictate one by one a do’a that I often hear all prayers and read by the priest ratib.” I murmured in my heart

Allahumma arinal-haqqa haqqan warzuqnat-diba’ah, wa arinal-batila batilan, warzuqnaj-tinabah, bi rahmatika ya arhamar-rahimeen.

“Yes Allah, Show us the truth and give us a way to follow it, and show us the error and give us a way to get away from it.”

The more I don't understand, what is this?! Why is this blood flowing so hard and the heart beating so hard. The owner of a story that never runs out of sheets, do not know what other title You want to inculcate for me? Is this an answer to the mystery of time, which the wind never brought news?

We slowly climbed the stairs, one by one. It looked like a ballerina that was so good at pinching the tips of the toes, noiseless. Each step became a separate inner terror for me, it looks Ayu began to settle down and set his steps slowly. One.two.the three doors I passed through, arriving at a room at the very end, we barely make a sound.

What did Ayu mean to bring me here?? Why must be like a thief who is targeting an empty house, lurking, hiding and settling like an army that is raiding an enemy barracks.

“Mashaaalllaaaaaaaah!!” I was surprised to see that there were shoes I knew at the door and the state of the boarding room was dark.

“Ssssssttt!! Why Mas?” Ayu tried to hold my voice.

“That shoe looks like my wife Amel.”

“Aaah that feeling Mas only.”

“So you mean get me here what?” I asked like a whisper. “Let's see, we're talking about FITNAH!”

At first glance, the intention of Ayu invites me here, and about the shoes I just saw. Why is Amel here?!!

“Please look up Ventilation.” Ayu told me to take a peek, what's in the room?!

I started slithering and creeping on the wall, like an amateur climber. My fingertips hurt, because I had to hold the thickness of the wall without any footstool that I could stop by. I also carefully began to penetrate the gap to be able to see what Ayu wanted to show me?

My view was limited to the dark room and but I could see there were two people in the room, obviously I could distinguish the two people like lovers. But what are they doing?! Like there are erotic movements, dancing though irregular. These ears were still sensitive to the sound of hissing, and faintly I heard the voice of a woman calling, saying,

“ Ayoo Puupuu...A little more..!”

 “Oooh my god!! God curiiim!!” I immediately went down and no longer wanted to see the haram scene.

“Ayyyyyuuu!!! What do you mean?! Do I want to see a scene like that? It's illegal Yuuuk!!” I shouted and made a rowdy in front of the room with a sticker ‘siluet male’ rabbit attached to the door leaf.

Fishing for two people in the room opened the door and found out what was going on. The oriental man's face came out of the room, wearing only boxer pants with bare chest. Before long, the shadow of the tall woman with her shoulder-length hair was approaching us.

“Ameeeeel!!” I was surprised to see Amel in such unusual clothes.

“But what I saw was my wife. Who is this guy?!” Innerku.

“Illahiiii...Aummerika!!! Yes Allaaah what does all this mean?!! What do you want from me, servant

the one who is rolled and helpless?!!” These tears are shed, not because of the sight I saw a few minutes ago. I cried not only because of Amel's treatment. But do I understand more and more what God wants to show me?

Amel was flabbergasted by my arrival and he did not expect that I could find him who he had been asking permission to accompany to treat the daughter of his best friend.

“Iang, is this what you mean to ask me for permission to treat your best friend's daughter? Is this how you keep the trust and trust I gave you?!”

I saw the look on Amel's guilty face, his eyes glazed over, whether the tears of a wolf or a tigress? Amel whined, asking me not to leave him and to forgive his mistakes.

I also passed by holding back the remains of tears, now the more sincere I submit myself to the fate that will either take me to docking, the island of hope or I slap on the ghost island?!

“Yaaandaaaaa..maafiin akuuu!!!” Amelber ran after me and tried to stop my footsteps, she wailed so much, she cried so hard.

I honestly couldn't see her crying, whining like a child asking to buy something. With a heart like this broken, like a piece of glass that is shattered and do not expect to be reunited. Only his factory could drop broken glass pieces.

I lifted up both arms of Amel, not to act like a child who kept holding back my footsteps, with a sobbing of his tears.

“If it is indeed the best choice for your mother, I sincerely let you go. I love you because of Allah and I will return my hatred to Allah only, I am sincere...Go baby, approach him who makes you comfortable and calm. I forgive your mistake and apologize for my mistake of not being able to be a good priest to you.” I kissed Amel's forehead and her cheeks were wet with tears.

“Haiiidaaaaaaar!!”

I left Amel, I don't know what words I deserve to say to him, this heart can only say,” O God, God, forgive me for not being able to keep Your trust and I cannot bear the burden of life that I bear.

“Rabbana wala tuhammilna ma la thaqatala bih...

Don't give me a burden I can't bear.”

Officially I will enjoy my fare back, though I will face trials, temptations and sins in such a heavy recklessness. This heart will be mixed, sweet, asem and salty life together in a cauldron called feeling.

 I try to live this life script, because I believe God has an organ from His body that he seems to exist but does not appear to exist ....