DESTINY IS NOT WRONG
Dream Upload
Sleaking and empty has become part of my daily life like losing direction
in life. I tried to fight him, learning not to dissolve in grief. Remembering the story of the Prophet with his Amul Huzni, when he was afflicted with prolonged grief at the death of his beloved wife. That year, in the ten prophetic years, the wife of the Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam, Khadijah bint Khuwailid and his uncle Abu Talib, died.
The time difference between Khadijah's death and Abu Talib's death, as told by Ibn Sa’ad in his Thabaqat is only one month and five days apart. Two important figures who have been supporting the preaching of the Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam from the harsh intimidation and conspiracy of the Mushrikin of Mecca against the Prophet and his companions at that time.
Khadijah was not only a wife to the Prophet, she was a young comfort when she experienced a heavy maslah. Likewise with Abu Talib, he has given support to the Prophet Shallallahu ‘alaihi wasallam in facing his opposites and boomerangs. The Prophet finally hoped for protection and support from Tha’if from the threat of the Quraysh, but not the protection he got but the rock he got. Until finally the Prophet raised his hand ;
“Yes Allah, only to You do I complain of the weakness of my strength, the lack of my efforts and my humiliation in the sight of men. O Lord of the Most Merciful and Most Merciful, You are the Lord of the Powerless. Thou art my Lord, to whom shall Thou surrender me? Is it to a distant (unknown) person who will ambush me? Or to the enemy whose business You have given him? If You are not angry with me, then I will not care anymore (with their reproach), but Your forgiveness is far greater to me. I take refuge with the light of Your face, which illumines all darkness and redresses all affairs of the Hereafter, from Your wrath which You will send down upon me or from Your hatred which You will inflict upon me. Only for You until You are willing. No power and effort other than You.”
This is the beginning of the departure of the Messenger of Allah to his seven mi’aj, when suffering spurt precisely Allah raised his degree to the highest level, the journey mi’ it the reward of Allah and for me is not only he an Apostle, he is not, unless I look at him in the glasses of ordinary men. There is wisdom of patience, and,
obedience’atan and obedience that a Muhammad taught. Naturally, if man follows man, it is not natural when man is commanded by God to make Jibril as Uswahtun Hasanah.
Why can a Muhammad, who notes his bene-nya ordinary man, only the level of his devotion has reached higher maqam, up the ladder of complete man.
“Learn from your Apostle Haidar, learn to him about patience, obedience’a and obedience.” I motivate myself.
At least a fingernail followed in his footsteps why not?! Although far from perfection but what does it mean to live without finding syafa’at him. What I experienced is far from what happened to the Prophet and his family. My life is more than Abu Dharr Al-Ghifary, Hamzah bin Ash, Bilal bin Rabah, Syaidnya Hasan and Husein.
I must pass through times like this with sincerity, and as an occasion for me to be closer to the future owner of my life. The only way I have to go to hijrah is for me to find my own destiny. And I had to learn from the events of Israel’ and Mi’raj of the Prophet, no need to approach myself to the complete man, but the spark of youth light that I wanted to try to achieve.
It's God, that the body we have is only a moment's loan, do not feel have a loan, maybe I could cry as it happens, so on, I did not accept God's word and felt like I was losing my loved ones, but I realized that I was just a parking attendant, no
feeling like I have a luxury vehicle even though the vehicle is thought to be on my land, because it is not mine.
Coming, meeting and parting are all natural things, only sincerity is needed and how we deal with it all signifies that God alone is the owner of eternity, do not be too greedy to have anything and do not be too hopeful and lean on something that is weak.
There is no reason anymore, I must be able to get through difficult times like this by freeing myself from doubts to Allah SWT then my heart will feel calm with what I live.
“Welcome Destiny.” I greeted him so calmly.
I began to feel comfortable with solitude, reading many books and articles. Figuring out what the market wants, the publisher and I pour what comes to mind. Until finally it seems to me to write a novel that I will pack realistically with a polite and romantic style, I will discuss about soul mate, sustenance and death. Which is still gambled to be discussed realistically as a proof of which theory is closer to the concept of all that. And indeed before I had a sounding with Mas Ayatullah Khomaeny a religious book editor at a publishing company.
“Try to send the script.”
“Insyalah mas.”
I just made the headline title. Given more efficiently in that way, if rejected we try a new title. And from his statement I considered the response that needed to be tried, and I had the target of writing a script for one month. Insyallah, will be completed in the time I have scheduled. Whether or not my script is accepted, the important thing is that I have to try.
Every day, I had to write ten sheets no matter what the mood and mood, I had to be professional with my profession as a writer. Like Sule ‘OVJ’ people never know that he is experiencing anxiety, anxiety and maybe the condition of his body that is not fit, but the man who has the full name Entis Sutisna is so professional with his career, no need people know that he is getting into a lot of trouble, he said, but the audience and the audience know how he presents fresh jokes and humor.
Like that, no matter how I am, I also have to be professional with the profession I have chosen. It's part of the job and I have to have working hours too, if saturated I usually scatter in the internet world and cool with each other in the world of social networking. I am glorious to upload a photo that will be my dream, I have to pose in front of the Cathedral of Milano, one of the largest churches in the world which is a proud church in Europe, the church is 157 meters long and a total of 40,000 people can be accommodated in it comfortably. The large windows of the choir section are renowned as the largest in the world. I prefer to see the church with artistic glasses.
Then I uploaded a photo of Neuschwanstein Castle, a Bavarian castle in the 19th century. The building looks romantic and unique because it is located on the top of the mountains in Germany, near Hohenschwangau and Fussen in southwestern Bavaria. The castle was built by Ludwig II of Bavaria.
And I like Germany, because to me this country is a symbol of a Hitler motivation that I don't see as a murderer, but it has another side, its soul that doesn't give up easily, be firm with the direction of his life, so that he is able to achieve what he targets. Though victory without any special badge or honor for him.
And the last time I uploaded a photo of the Grand Mosque, this was my last shot of being able to go there, when I was tired of the problems and affairs of the world, I was heartbroken, he said, energy and thought in the Passage of the Prophets. Not without reason, I uploaded my three dreams. In line with the philosophy of a piety as expressed in a popular hadith ;
"I’mal lidunyaaka kaannaka ta'iisyu abadan wa'mal liaahirokotika kannaka guamutu ghodan".
Work for your world affairs just, do not worry about not going away because you will live forever.
I learned ‘believe my dream ‘ from Alphany Septhan Thea, the girl who was once present in my life, still remembered the prayer he said when I was together under the great cross, before the altar he prayed.
“God, hug my girlfriend in Your love, convey her dreams and desires. I know he's a great guy. “
I raised my hand, and Thea narrowed her fingers. We are so solemn I know he prays with sincerity, Our Lord is one but this is a different creed. When the ozone-critical haired girl prays until and near the word,” The response of these lips also pray, this is my experience of entering the church.
“Rabbana hab lana min azwajina wa dzurriyyatina qurrata a’yunin waj-’alna lil-muttaqin imama.”
"Our Lord, grant us, our spouses and our descendants as the coolers of our hearts, and make us leaders for those who fear God"
Alhamdulillah, despite being far apart but I still greet each other and ask questions and sometimes aunt, I call her mami Thea with the title of aunt join mendo’ my writing career, he said, asking the news even though through facebook I can find out their circumstances. Because I still met with Rama Rafael Pangestoe, Thea's younger brother who called me ‘Koko’ because they are of Chines blood.
Ten years ago, I laughed at her when every time I accompanied her to church. He always holds a photo of the cathedral church in Milan, as well as the Eifel tower which became his favorite country. While closing my eyes and holding the two posters,” Lord, convey my dream to get to this country.” Ten years
next, I was surprised when Phey's aunt Sumi Hariyono uploaded the photos.
“Tante, Thea now where?” Spontaneous I asked in a chat Via Facebook.
“Si Kuntet stay in Milan.” The kuntet was the nickname of her mother, as her height was only 164 cm unlike her siblings.
I can only say in my heart, “ Now your dreams are answered by God well?” While looking at the photos I still keep in a folder on the laptop. That is a dream, which we ourselves do not know when God will answer. And I try to follow in his footsteps in a different way. Among the details of the prayer beads, on top of the container as well as after midnight.
“....Yes Allah, Deliver My Hajat.”
After the Tahajud prayer, I continued to finish the script of the novel that had to be completed within a month or sooner, better. After dawn I repurposed my body for a while, until I woke up in Dhuha time, and got ready because after Dzuhur Promise met Vega. Suddenly he asked me for a little time to meet even though an hour, his own agenda I do not know. Maybe he misses, or there is a serious conversation and he wants to convey, all he wants to go out there is business that I do not know.
We also agreed to meet in a mini market that is quite familiar and often used as a place to hang out teenagers in general. Precisely in the South number of Jakarta, after Zuhur at one or two in the afternoon. On one hand I was happy to see him, almost a week after my arrest, he was not
The anticipated time arrived, I have noticed very well my appearance, ranging from shoes, hair, clothing and not forgetting perfume. Promise at 2pm, I have to walk from half an hour. Because what I'm worried about is Jakarta's traffic jam is unpredictable.
“Better wait one hour than one minute late.” I once read the motto in front of the school gate, and it is still embedded today.
Simple, but the meaning is so imprinted in my memory, even though the writing I saw dozens of years ago.
As a result, I waited for half an hour with the right money, just enough for the cost, and bought two bottles of mineral water. Enough to make me have to feel self-aware, waiting for people for a long time but there was nothing I bought in that place. While almost every table I saw was full of food and soft drinks, while at the table I was hopping.
I tried to be indifferent to the view that could be said to be quite sliced, until finally to buy a bottle of drink only I hesitated, and considered all sorts of possibilities, negative drafts and bad predictions that came out. Until finally, I decided to buy a bottle of drink, that was the decision I took right in the 30th minute I felt bored waiting.
Still in front of the cashier, the tone of my whats app rang and I expected it from Vega, as quickly as I could get it out of Jeans' pocket. Pounding his heart when reading the message from him, short and quite makes me regret buying mineral water.
Order : Vega PN ( +62812XXX-XXX-44 )
Found at Block M skrg!Sorry are!
Kontan, I also have to slide there with a condition that is all fitting, in the place he called in his second whats app message, which is very convenient, a ready-to-eat restaurant right near a fairly well-known shopping center. In my mind there is only, how to get to that place. My money is only for one time on the Trans Jakarta bus, the business of going home later let me find a way out later.
Yes aampuuun!!! There was an all-stalled event, right at the Al-Azhar Mosque all the way to the Blok M terminal, and I was forced to get off, running small to where Vega was pointing. I'm hunting time, because Vega has enough business to not have much time.
Until the whats app message appears for the umpteenth time, I have to tolerate this time because the error is in a state that does not allow me to be on time.
Order : Vega PN (
+62812XXX-XXX-44 )
We cancel dad?! I'm sorry, there's important business and I have to go. Next, maybe we will be more pripare.
Lost all hope, beautiful plans flashed throughout the trip. And I have to be aware of such circumstances. Now all I'm thinking about is how to get back home, without any money. The urgent way was none other than, I had to busk inside the City Transport, to get home.
On the way, I was shocked again in the same voice when I received the message from Vega, and I was no longer interested in opening the short message, huh, well, maybe a little disappointed with his attitude. I decided to turn off the phone, besides not feeling good with the other buskers, if I look a little different and can damage the image of the busker later.
If you have a fee, it does not take long to get back home. Normally, an hour and a half I would have been unwinded in my room. But not for now, it took me three more hours, considering I had to get off the city bus. Because there is no more than Trans Jakarta that directly reaches the terminal, it only takes ten minutes if taken by foot to get home.
Just turned on the phone, a row of incoming messages and almost all of Vega's likeness he was hoping to meet me today, even though it failed a few hours ago and he is willing if I determine the place. I have not had time to reply the girl explained that she resigned from the profession as a flight attendant. And choose to continue the campus activities that he had left.
I agreed to meet him even though I was a little disappointed, but forgiving was better. There may be a more important and overriding reason to meet with me. The deal! We also agreed to meet at the nearest Shoping Center from where I live.
Just as I was passing by the Mall parking lot, a female voice called out.
“Haidaaar!!” Vega who was wearing a white hijab was seen coming out of the steering door.”
“Subhanallah!” The former flight attendant looks graceful wearing all-white clothes, combined with the color of the car he drives.
I approached, the girl whose face still looks beautiful even without make up. With an inner hijab like a ninja covering the neck, plus a scarf or scarf covering her chest. Perfect physically, or indeed fairly natural if it looks beautiful because basically he is a flight attendant.
The girl led me to a Japanese restaurant, with two red and blue dolls as welcome icons. I was just told to sit down and he ordered food, automatically I followed his favorite meal menu. In just a few minutes, he returned with a tray full of two bowls of rice, two plates of Chicken Katsu, Beef, Teriyaki and two bottles of mineral water he served in front of me.
“Please make a comment sir.” He presented it with a loose smile.
“Aaan siih!”
While eating, Vega gave up the discourse,” I started to feel comfortable myself lately.” Sock I heard, one marked bad for me. My appetite also dropped to the lowest level, until the mouthful that had been ravenous, stopped instantly and I brushed the food into the corner of the table.
“Kok stop eating?”
“So this is the meeting intent today.”
“Yeah. Maybe I have my own reasons for the decision I took.” “What is your reason?” I wonder about his decision.
“Haidar, you know I was twice disappointed with my failed marriage plans, and my decision to accept you was too hasty.
The more days, the thicker your sense of hope will be. That will make it difficult to both of us delete this story, especially you?”
I fell silent and preferred to be a good listener, though I did not accept the decision I considered rushed. What to say, why should I feel the pain of being stabbed by a needle, whereas I have felt how much pain slashed by a samurai, and this is not how much pain.
“Maybe it's a difficult decision for me to accept Vega, but I also can't force you to continue the relationship that I consider your compulsion. At first I assume you can accompany me until later all the dreams we can buy, we can buy, and you also know I want you to be my special guest when later screenings in the primary wolf of the film are already in front of the waiting door. It is you who deserve to sit in that first seat, but the dream is left Vega's dream and I must accept your decision.”
“I'm sorry Haidar, I hope this friendship does not break up and we can still be friends.”
“Can't! I have to start daring to remove your account and delcon your BB contacts. You can make a decision, I also have to be firm with my decision as well.”
“I beg Haidar, let all this we submit by time.”
“Time?! Time that will kill me in an ongoing manner by seeing your news and your whole picture on my account!”
“At least I can tell you from there Haidar.”
I can no longer deny that I still need him, Vega who has disturbed all hope that was originally lost, until finally I myself forgot how to fall in love. And I've decided that we're going to keep sharing stories about a series of reasons why Vega made that decision, when the seed of love I just felt blossomed, it must die only because of pests that still cannot be ascertained type.
“I'm sure it's not just this reason Vega took this decision.”