I LOVE YOU, ABOUT ODY
Forgiveness Servant

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🌸Pov Valencia🌸

Somehow it explains what I feel right now. Sitting side by side with the man I had hurt many times and he also made the eyes of this blind heart finally open and ready to draw closer to the Creator.

There was a sense of wanting to repeat all the good times with him but certainly not with my bad behavior, but the heart was too embarrassed to hope so.

The despicable self which deserves to return wishes to be loved by him again. It's too good to go back to picking up trash like me. Regardless of what he did to Nada, I understand him and do not blame him. But that's because I used to be. If I could be a good wife to her, there's no way Ody would do that to Nada.

For me right now, just getting sorry for Ody is already very grateful. I don't want to hope for the grandiose as if I don't know myself. I am no longer the perfect woman worthy of being compared to any man. I'm just a useless woman.

"Hhmm, did you bother me?"

I heard my ex-in-law speaking and approaching us. I turned to see her holding a cute toddler whose face was so familiar. Mixing between Ody's face and Tone.

There was no pulse of pain considering how they did that night. There is only a feeling of haru because finally the good man who had spent his time in vain with me finally had offspring even though not from my womb.

I also felt that happiness when the little boy called him with the word father even though he was not even a year old. I couldn't seem to smile at how close the two were when Ody was holding him.

My smile faded when I realized a pair of old neutrals were looking at me from top to bottom.

"Mama, Mmm, I don't know if Valen can still call that name." I suddenly felt I had no right to call the woman I had always treated so badly.

The good woman lifted my chin and looked at my face which only had eyes.

"Mama. Keep calling me mama. Don't change it again. Mama's happy to see you've changed this way. May Istiqomah be Valen."

I cried hearing it. How good this good woman did not even harbor anger or grudge on this self.

"I'm sorry Valen mama." This self auto rumbles and rests and prostrates at his feet.

"Valen, don't do this. Come on, son, stand up. No man should bow down to another man, son. Get up,," mama painstakingly helped my limp body to stand up.

The memory of all the sins of the past makes this body lose energy. Feeling weak with all the burdens of sin.

"Not crying. There is no need to apologize either because you have forgiven you before you ask for it. Seeing you like this makes you have no reason to not forgive you anymore. Because as good as anyone is willing to realize his mistake and repent. I'm sure, you're at that stage."

I nodded and let his old hands move around my body. Back the crying that had originally subsided now again rained on my face and veil.

It feels good to be in the arms of someone who will forgive me.

"Dad,, dad,,,"

The little babble made us finish the mood. I'm now focusing on that little boy.

"May I carry it?" I asked Ody for permission.

"I know. His little face reminded me of the little tone." I cut out Ody's words that felt heavy and continued it.

The boy is now in my arms. Her little hand touched my face and she smiled adorablely. But I did not laugh but cry.

Recalling how it used to be a spoiled little tone in my sling. Remembering the funny prank. Recalling how he cried and looked pitiful in front of both his parents' heads. Remembering how he had so much faith in me that he reached out to her. Also remember how she grew up to be a good girl who never knew how dilapidated her tant.

And remembering how angry and disappointed and how sad he was to know that I was playing behind his girlfriend.

O Allah, forgive the servant, the,,,

"Would you like to see Nada?" ody said it made me stop my crying especially Birru so follow me to cry because of me.

"Let mama gendong Birru. You guys just continue your conversation. Mama would like to invite Birru to play with the orphanage children first." mama gave us more free time and we just nodded assent.

"If you want, I can drive you." Ody went back to the question.

I'm down. Playing my finger. I would but I doubt it. I was afraid that my presence would open the old wound of my little girl. I don't know if he can and will forgive me.

"Calm down, she'll be happy to see you. He loves you so much and misses you. He even chose to leave me after that night just because he didn't want me to leave you." Ody said, getting my face wet again.

How could the little girl still think of my happiness after I hurt her??

"I'll be with you later." Ody's back trying to convince me.

"I'm scared." I said.

"You know him well. He grew up with you too. You also know he won't do you any harm."

Right, what Ody said is true. And I believe my good girl won't do bad.

"alright. I'm asking you to take me to see him. Besides I had something I wanted to give him." after sighing long sighs many times to steady my heart, I finally agreed to meet Nada.

I just remembered that I still have precious Nada's property. The certificate of the house and the estate that was once entrusted to me and in my name. Several pieces of evidence of ownership of other valuable asset assets as well. I want to give it all back to him.

When I was down, hungry and willing to sell myself for a bite of rice, I wanted to sell all that but I was still sane at the time. I don't want to add my mistakes to Nada. Moreover, if I do that, then I also add sin. My late brother and sister-in-law were certainly disappointed in me and I didn't want to make them so.

"alright. Come with me." said Ody and I said.

"Bundaaa,, motheraaa Lala naughty,,,"

one of the children of the home came to me with his cry and complained about his naughty friend. I erased the rest of my tears and re-mixed with the child I had considered my own son. All this time, they were the best medicine for my soul.

Dedicating this to them allowed me to slowly forgive myself for throwing away my precious possession.

Yes, even without a womb, I can now proudly be their mother.

O Allah, once again, forgive this sinful servant.

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