KARMAS
Undecided

That night, after getting a painful message from Bhishma, it felt like Mesya wanted to disappear from the face of the earth as soon as possible.

He cursed himself for accepting the challenge of Bhishma. But now doubts are brewing in Mesya's heart.

"Am I up to it??" Mesya muttered staring at the sketch that Mesya had made.

"Should I tell the truth to Bhishma?? But what will I get??" Mesya again held firm his decision to hide the fact that he had the same dream as Bhishma.

"Will after I'm honest Brother Bhishma love me like in a dream?? Would Brother Bisma leave Alya and prefer me to??" Mesya's heart and mind have been at war ever since Bhishma urged him to acknowledge the dream.

"If Bhishma did choose me, that night Bhishma did not propose to Alya. But the steps he took back then showed that I was nobody, even though we just had the same dream"

"Then why does Sister Bisma keep asking for my honesty?? For what it is, because nothing will change at all want me to be honest or not" Mesya closed the book that he had scribbled with his skillful hand.

"After all, I don't want to be called an antagonist among them anymore. My presence is enough to be a figurehead at this time. Whether I exist or not, my existence will not harm anyone. I do not want to obey the ambition to get Sister Bisma. Alya is a good woman and loves Sister Bhishma. So I'm sure Bisma can be happy with Alya"

Convincing her heart like that was certainly not easy for Alya. Sometimes his lips and heart don't match. Like when Bhishma came to see him that day. Mesya's lips said that he would learn to forget Bhishma, but in fact his heart screamed against Mesiah's wishes.

That man was really like poison to Mesya. Not only enter the heart and damage it but to as white as the body to the nerves until it is very difficult to remove.

"How do I forget it?? Do I have to go far away from here so that all the shadows about the man disappear completely??"

Mesya thinks if Bhishma is still around, of course forgetting is impossible. Maybe by going as far as possible, the feeling will gradually disappear by itself.

Mesya stared at the blue sky through the window in his room. Again only the face of Bhishma is clearly drawn up there.

"Although we look at the same sky, our hearts will never be the same. A woman like me can never get into your heart"

*

*

*

The same day, but somewhere else. A woman with a man who was the center of Mesya's mind has now been in one of the most famous WO offices in the entire archipelago.

They are Alya and Bhishma. Given their marriage which will be held less than one month, Alya invites Bhishma to start choosing the concept of their marriage.

"Mas??" Call Mesya gently.

"Mas Bhishma!!" Mesya to touch the arm of Bisma because the man looked dreamy not listening to what was being explained by the WO.

"W-yes why??" When Bhishma awakens from her daydream, she finds it hard to get a confused look from Alya and the woman in front of her.

"So which one would you choose??" Ask Alya.

Bhishma looked at the table showing the many luxurious wedding concepts served by the WO.

"As far as you are. I agree with whatever you choose" Bhishma's answer certainly scratched Alya's heart a little.

"So which one would you like to choose??" Ask the woman in front of them.

"If this one is what you think. Later the concept of pastel colors, I want all the flowers to wear the original, huh Mas??" Mesya actually wants a simple wedding with an outdoor concept, but considering Bisma's business partner and also his future Papa-in-law is not playing games, he said, so Mesya choice Mesya wedding is held in the Ballroom of the hotel owned by the Bisma family.

"Yes, the important thing is that you like" Again only such an answer is given by Bhishma. Alya until feeling awkward in front of the WO guy.

"Yes, I chose this one. In accordance with what I said. I want all the flowers to be original yes" Finally Alya has to decide her own choice. Their wedding preparation time counted. There was no time for Alya to delay her decision.

"Okay, this is fix, right?? I recorded it first. Then now you can choose any dish that will be provided. We also have a tester. Come with me" Bhishma and Alya were taken to a place where various kinds of food were provided there as an example for brides-to-be who would use their services.

"Where do you want Mas??" Alya tried to ask the opinion of Bhishma who had not spoken much since.

"I'm up to you" Alya looked at Bisma in annoyance. If Bhishma continues to behave like that, Alya feels that marriage is only Alya's marriage, not Alya and Bhishma.

"Sir, if for this problem just follow ya. I think I need to talk to my mother-in-law first" Alya said withstanding the rumbling inside her chest.

"No problem, brother. But I ask immediately, brother. Because this includes mepet so much that we have to prepare beforehand"

"All right I understand. Excuse me first" Alya flanked Bhishma's arm to take the man out of the place.

Alya carried a bisma sitting in a friend who was near the WO office earlier.

"Drink first Mas" Alya offered a bottle of mineral water to Bhishma.

"Thank you" the bisma sipped the drink almost half over.

"You have a problem, huh??" Ask Alya with understanding.

"No" That short answer made Alya smile bitterly.

"But why do I feel that you have no enthusiasm at all regarding our wedding preparations" Alya was so sad at this moment. Her dream marriage is in sight. She will marry the man she loves, but the closer the day comes the more doubt in Alya's heart.

"Why can you think like that Alya??"

"You've been having a hard time calling a few days. I was so happy this morning because you were willing to come with me to meet the WO who will take care of our wedding. But since inside, your mind has gone nowhere. You're not focused in there. You also left all the options to me" Alya began to tear up. Her feelings have been so sensitive lately.

"It's our marriage, Mas. I'm not the only one who's gonna be the owner. So your opinion is very much I need" Alya lowered her head to hide her tears.

Bisma began to realize her mistake. Since inside, he was unable to focus on listening to their explanation. Either his mind at that time went where but right said Alya, there was no enthusiasm at all in him.

"Alya, I'm sorry. I think I'm fucked up over office business. If so, let's go in again. I promise I'll give you my opinion on everything. I was wrong for making you sad like this. Again forgive me"

"No need Brother. You better finish your job first. Let me and Mama take care of this. I know your mind and energy are drained for your company. I understand, I was also wrong because it was too sensitive when it comes to our marriage" So big heart Alya who understands the condition of Bima at this time. But Alya does not know if Bhishma is currently on the verge of being divided between two options.

"Then I take you back to the boutique first yes" Bisma wiped the tears that had soaked Alya's cheeks.

"Yes, don't be too tired either. You're not a robot, you also need to rest" the little smiling Bisma then clasped Alya's hand towards her car.