LIFE (Han, Ian, Dina, Ute & Pras)
Ep. 15 Bidding (Dina & Pras)
...~ DINA ~...
Last year, when Muda Praja held the Pembaretan Ceremony at the top of Mount Manglayang, some people who were in the duty of guarding the barracks/wisma, could not follow the activity, including me.
So this year it is an obligation for me to follow this activity along with some friends who are similar to the insured, of course, following his activities with the group of Muda Praja.
Already a month ago the notification related to this activity plan I received from a Senior Princess who is active in Wapamanggala activities, I have also confirmed my participation to the relevant committee and also ka’Han. Ka’Han promised to accompany the trip of our group, although our relationship still remains in secret mode. But he promised to be there, especially when I needed him the most.
But somehow, this morning I woke up late (maybe because of friends one plot A, my guesthouse is also still asleep in the dream world each. This Saturday is indeed a cruise day and Madya Praja is not required to participate in this Pembaretan Procession activity.
When I finally got to the Wapamanggala Post, the room was quiet with a little bit of waste, maybe a package of supplies that had been brought. I also prepared to return to the guesthouse, but suddenly the figure of the family seemed to rush into the room Wapamanggala this. Ka’Pras..
We were silent for a long time, like we could not believe this coincidence, I was going out and he was just coming in. Then his hoarse voice cleared “Hrgmm.” shortly before finally saying: “Eh Dina, what are you doing? Shouldn't you be joining the C-1 group that left about 1 hour ago? Is there anything left? Or maybe you're late to wake up?”
I saw his figure that as late as this morning looks handsome wrapped in Field Service Clothes/Green PDL and Purple Beret framing his fresh face, my mind glazed: ‘If only...’ (translation: if only)
Then it immediately woke up and I replied embarrassed: “Eh yes ka’Pras. forgive me.”.
“Before Dina, we follow your entourage, I just need to take something first.” Said ka’Pras again with a face full of smiles and again rushed to open the drawer of a table, took out a new-looking purple beret and put it in the bottom pouch of his PDL pants.
Then ka’Pras stood before me, flipped this body, pointed it at the exit and pushed this back with both of his large palms that felt a little warm. “Hayu we go..” take him and he closes the post door behind him.
I no longer had time to think, just trying to follow from behind his long steps towards the foot of Mount Manglayang, maybe trying to catch up with the group who had about an hour ago departed.
We walked in silence for a moment. Seemed ka’Pras did not mind me walking behind him, but occasionally his head turned, like making sure I keep following his steps without problems.
“Ngg.. anu ka’Pras, are we still able to catch up with them and will not be late to post later?” I began to doubt while looking at his sturdy back, began to question the speed of our togetherness during this ± and a half hours.
I casually heard the answer: “Que sera sera, what ever will be, will be.” while sniffing his shoulders and looking back at me. (Translation: what will happen, happens)
“What exactly is not a problem if we alone just walk like this?” ask me again while looking to the left and right of the path, which we have been on for a while now, trying to break the silence between us. There is still no sign of the tail of the group that we are trying to follow.
Suddenly ka’Pras stopped and accidentally my body hit his back which involuntarily grabbed his waist so as not to fall towards the back. Both hands ka’Pras swiftly held my hand, linking the two at his waist which felt slimmer than it seemed, so that our bodies were firmly attached (my chest was tightly linked on his back).. I can breathe the aroma of his body that feels more familiar and even though it is quite sweaty moist, but still refreshing.
But a moment later I woke up and pulled away, saying softly: “Sorry ka.”, moving backwards, trying to get away from his turned body with a big smile. My left hand is still in his grasp tightly and ka’Pras said: “Ngapusi kui hakmu. My obligation mung etok-etok ora ngerti yen mbok apusi." (Translation: Lying is your right. My duty is to pretend not to know that you're lying)
“By the way what seh ka’Pras?” I don't know a single word he says, but know a little that he's making fun of me from that stupid grin.
“Please do not blame me who feels that our bodies are very suitable for each other, this is the second time you do not realize it seh?” the question immediately then made all my face and neck feel the intense heat.
“Sorry ka’Pras.” I said looking down, again trying to pull my hand that was getting tighter into his grasp. Guilt is like slapping my cheek hard. ‘Hallo Andi Dinameiriza, you already have a girlfriend, kog want to be close even make out with other men? Is it a path* are you now?’ my mind is filled with shame.
“Please do not apologize Dina, you are not wrong anything. If there must be someone to blame, just blame me who is not quick to express the taste and finally let a ka’Han take advantage of my carelessness..” said ka’Pras again tighter pulled my hand and attached it to his chest which felt very hard.
“Sorry ka’Pras. What we are doing is wrong.” I said firmly and violently pulled my hand which finally released ka’Pras very forcedly. His face was no longer smiling, but there was clearly disappointment.
“I'm sorry once again ka.. It seems like I can't continue on this journey of ours. Please ka’Pras continue on its own to Manglayang Peak. I will turn right and I hope ka’Pras does not need to accompany me. I need to think and reflect on my mistakes.I'm sorry ka.” I said back 2 steps and turn around to then walk quickly back towards the knight.
There is a part of this self that expects ka’Pras to force his will for us to continue the journey together, but the guilt is too thick out of this self. As much as I can bear to look back at him, just check if he has continued his journey or is still looking at my departure.
Suddenly, about 20 steps later, my body was grabbed in a tight embrace from behind. I felt his breath in my hair. Both hands tightly trap themselves for a moment that feels long, then ka’Pras said slowly: “Please do not feel guilty.. Do not also lose hope dear Dina, the time will come later we can certainly be together without guilt. Trust my love.” Without me noticing these tears dripping more and more, wetting my cheeks even flowing into the hands of ka’Pras.
...***...
...~ PRAS ~...
After I said the words that I thought I needed to hear Dina, my dear heart, I kissed the back of her head which was fragrant shampoo and a little sweat. Then I turned around and ran as fast as I could towards the top of Mount Manglayang. The sadness that Dina felt might not be as great as the sadness that I feel now. My hand had felt the teardrop earlier, I kissed and breathed the droplet, unconsciously also felt the tears had also flooded my eyes.
Happy for a moment can feel closeness to him, but like other addictive substances, it is very charging to continue to be able to feel it again and again. The sense of needing it gets bigger every time. I ran to get rid of this suffering, trying to torture myself to the end of my breath.
If only I had never promised Ian to pin this purple beret on his head, I would have chosen to accompany Dina back to the knight.
...***...
The lyrics of All of Me by John Legend ring continuously while the legs never stop stepping: the:
...What would I do without your smart mouth?...
...(.(.What would I do without your smart mouth?)...
...Drawing me in, and you kicking me out...
...(.(.Set me up, and you show me)...
...You’ve got my head spinning, no kidding, I can’t pin you down...
...(.(.You're making my head woozy, no kidding, I can't let you down)...
...What’s going on in that beautiful mind...
...(.(.What happened to that beautiful thought?)...
...I’m on your magical mystery ride...
...(.(.I'm on your magical mystery journey)...
...And I’m so dizzy, don’t know what hit me,...
...but I’ll be alright...
...(.(.And I'm so dizzy, I don't know what happened to me, but I'm ‘kan alright)...
...My head’s under water, But I’m breathing fine...
...(.(.My head is underwater, but I can breathe)...
...You’re crazy and I’m out of my mind...
...(.(.You're crazy and I'm losing my mind)...
...(.(.Because of all of me,...
...love everything you have)...
...Love your curves and all your edges,...
...All your perfect imperfections...
...(.(.Loving the curves of your body and all your sides, all your imperfections)...
...Give your all to me, I’ll give my all to you...
...(.(.Give it all to me, please,...
...I'll give you all mine)...
...You’re my end and my beginning,...
...Even when I lose I’m winning...
...(.(.You are my beginning and my end, even when I lose I still feel like I win)...
...‘Cause I give you all of me,...
...And you give me all of you, ohoh...
...(.(.Because I gave you everything from me,...
...& you gave all of you to me, ohoh)...
...How many times do I have to tell you...
...(.(.How many times do I have to tell you)...
...Even when you’re crying you’re beautiful too...
...(.(.Even when you cry, you're still pretty)...
...The world is beating you down,...
...I’m around through every mood...
...(.(.The world is disappointing you,...
...I went through all the moods)...
...You’re my downfall, you’re my muse...
...(.(.You are my waterfall, you are my inspiration)...
...My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues...
...(.(.My worst distraction, my rhythm and blues)...
...I can’t stop singing, it’s ringing, in my head for you...
...(.(.I can't stop singing, his tone keeps buzzing, in this head for you)...
...Give me all of you...
...(.(.Give it all to me)...
...Cards on the table, we’re both showing hearts...
...(.(.Cards on the table, we both show the heart of the US)...
...Risking it all, though it’s hard...
...(.(.Risking everything, even if it's hard)...
...I give you all of me, and you give me all of you, ohoh...
...(.(.I gave it all to you, and you gave me all, ohoh)...
...***...
The trip took less than 2 hours from the point where I parted with Dina earlier. The path that Dina was going to take to return to the knight was not as cramped as the one I was on, so I calmed down a bit to let her walk alone.
Shortly before reaching the top, I passed by ka’Han who seemed to be helping give mineral water drinks to the Young Praja Putri who looked very tired. I gave ppm and asked: “Good morning ka’Han. Can I help you?”
“Is there still Princess Praja's entourage left behind de?” tanya ka’Han then looks towards the back of my back.
“Siap, no ka. earlier I was the cleaning personnel of the princess line.” I answered quickly, pretending not to understand the meaning of the question ka’Han actually.
Then my attention was diverted to a Young Praja Putri in the middle of the group accompanied by this ka’Han. His reddish hair and white skin look contrasting among his classmates who on average look dark-skinned and appear scuffed full of sweat fatigue. Her round eyeballs, framed by her pretty face, glimpsed right at my eyes, boldly and seemingly questionable.
But this heart is not at all shaken, ‘It is full of the figure of Dina entrenched sweet in there’ my mind without regret. But looking at it, at least I do not quite understand, to whom ka’Han looks full of patience to spread its charm in this place.
“Izin ka’Han, I checked the group that the son first.” I said a moment later.
Arriving at the top of Mount Manglayang, I saw the Praja Youths creeping followed by a chain squat road that symbolizes the soul of the corsa to then enter the Pembaretan Ceremony DP. I wasn't too late, though not on time either. Some members of Wapamanggala greeted me warmly and asked me the path I had been through.
After talking for a while, my attention turned to the ranks of Muda Praja, one by one I looked carefully, looking for the figure of Ian with an oriental face. Indeed the path to be taken Young Praja Putra and Putri is distinguished. The son had to follow a longer path by passing through the shadow peak of Mount Manglayang. The shadow peak is several hundred meters below the original peak of Mount Manglayang. The journey taken on the path of the shadow peak is very steep, so at some point it is necessary to install a rope to help the climb.
Finally his figure was visible, was memapah a friend who seemed wrapped in his legs, maybe sprained. The two covered towards the medical personnel and soon after Ian I saw entering the ceremonial preparation area, to follow the procession of Pembaratan and his gaze never switched from the purple beret that I held and will be pinned shortly in his head.
...***...