LIFE (Han, Ian, Dina, Ute & Pras)
Ep. 5 - INTRODUCTION (The Perspective of a UTE)
Many categorize me as a very lucky girl..
The only daughter of a well-known family, life is always enough and even tends to be excessive, has a very attractive appearance (thick reddish hair, beautiful face, ideal body shape and so on), and so on, have an intelligent brain and some artistic talents (such as beautiful voice when singing, sensitivity to tone when playing piano music and the ability to pour back what was recorded in these eyes).. less is it trying to be happy?
But that is what is visible to the naked eye. A quick assessment of people who don't know me personally. If only they knew, there would probably be no envy tucked into their hearts, which there might be pity.
In front of most people, I like to show you how happy my life is. My personality is cheerful and smiling. The result of self-formation due to the experience of seeing the quarrel for the sake of quarrel between papa and mama, both sides will feel sad and disappointed.
When my mother stayed and cried, I had an obligation to comfort her with funny babbles and jokes that I created to see her smile again. Likewise when the mother who left the house, then the papa who looks angry and disappointed was obliged to entertain.
Only a handful of people I let know themselves for who they are. Worry will be seen as strange, despicable and even pitied, which triggers my attitude and actions.
Well, on this occasion, for the sake of dear readers, I tell you the secret that I have been deeply yearning for: yes:
I am the only daughter of a broken home product. Yes, my Mom and Dad, although they are not officially divorced, they have been separated since I was a child. There was never a happy family memory between the three of us.
Even if you had a look at the house I live in myself in the number of elite complexes and see photos or paintings of our togetherness, it was all just camouflage and imagery.
Good name big family papa and mama who are the reason they do not also take care of divorce.
Papa who is a high commander and mama who is the chief director of a famous company, must remain in his marriage status now in order to maintain the good name of each. In fact, stopping by my residence, their only daughter is very rarely done. Papa I hear now lives with a sensational actress who is rarely seen in the news and mama always seems to be with her personal lawyer wherever they are.
My life since childhood was like orphans wrapped in luxury alone. Forced to be happy in a golden cage.
I have a rare disease known as Prosopagnosia, in which sufferers have difficulty identifying a person's face. So in my eyes there is no such thing as handsome, beautiful or ugly. Everything looks similar.
The mother first realized the lack of her child. At that time I was about 4 years old.
Although I have been fluent in reading, counting (plus, less, times and even division) and speaking English, I have often had difficulty distinguishing between my mother and her sister (my aunt) and even my grandmother.
I often mispronounce others and though I have been reminded many times, I go back wrong and wrong again.
After agreeing with papa (which is very rare), they took me to a well-known psychiatrist (of course with a confidentiality agreement) and Prosopagnosia was the final conclusion of his diagnosis.
What is more worrying about mama and papa is that this psychiatric illness has still not found a cure/method of healing.
Fortunately (i am also an Indonesian, who despite the misfortune still can see the good side that exists) I was blessed with God above average intelligence, so that one of the tricks/how to reduce the negative impact (if in my mind sehutupin this disease) is to memorize facial expressions/creams (sad, happy, disappointed, angry and so on) or unique physical characteristics of a person, or, such as height, moles, hair type/shape and so on and others.
Mama and papa trained me pretty hard on this.
They began by showing a number of data and photos of the closest brothers, showing their physical characteristics and style of dress respectively, then they took me to some family event and tested my ability to recognize each person by whispering.
Next exercise on mama/papa colleagues and colleagues. Just like before, tests are also conducted at official events or parties that we attend.
Maybe in the eyes of others, we look very familiar as a small family, because they often share whispers, even though it was just a test for me.
Then some time later my mom asked me to learn Mandarin. It was not difficult for a child as smart as I was, but only a short time later did I learn his intent, which was so that I could freely communicate with an aurist from Tibet, who was a Tibetan, a researcher who dedicates himself to studying the Baru’ or Sarma School, namely Gelug (sometimes referred to as the New Kadampa) by becoming a Monk in Tibet.
Kadampa is a practitioner who integrated all oral instructions (teaching) originating from the Buddha, or briefly kadampa is a tradition that makes all the advice of the teacher as a basis for learning and practicing, while 'Gelugpa' it literally means the system of virtues or those who follow the system of virtues.
Although the language I use still tends to be simple (which is important to understand each other), but a lot of knowledge and skills I learned from it. Especially those related to integrating the practice of sutra and tantra, analytical reasoning, yogi meditation in Buddhism.
From him, I learned a lot that the aura is not only light from humans, but also a beam of energy that already exists and surrounds every living thing. the aura is shaped like a subtle color radiation that emanates from the human body as well as animals and plants. Every living thing, especially humans, has a different aura even though it may be the same color, but nothing is exactly the same, just like the fingerprints on each different person.
Each color signifies a specific vibration that has a different meaning and can only be felt by a sensitive person. Sensitivity to this aura can be learned and trained. This is what I trained for several years of his presence in Indonesia.
Yeah, just like the habit of recognizing people through their physical characteristics or fashion sense, then the habit of reading this aura also continues I apply in everyday life, can't ala because it's ordinary?
Well, after getting to know me more deeply, do you still consider me a very lucky girl?
...***...
Wow, the statue at the front gate of this school of beauty is amazing.my mind is softly admiring the front view of the school of violence where I will study for the next 4 years.
Getting closer to the statue, without me noticing I had been standing next to a young man in the same uniform as me. Black-and-white. A dark blue aura sheathed in light green radiated from him.
"Hey you sad face.don't be dumb, it's a senior who told us the line.." my cheerful broom seemed to disperse his reverie.
He seemed stunned for a moment, perhaps confused by my greeting earlier. After all, his face looked sad. There was a slight change of aura on him, slightly giving off a faded pink color for a moment. ‘Did I remind him of someone from his past?’ inner moment.
Not far from the crowd of our friends, there appeared a deep dark red aura senior, lowered his handbag beside his feet and said firmly: 'Stop:
"Consider all the sisters,
please leave your suitcases on that sidewalk and line up 3 sabs,
READY GRAK!"
Turning his attention towards the sad-looking man, the senior again said "Hey you are narrow, so commander of your army, stand to the right of the troops".
Although it seems not to accept in the possession of 'civil' and emit a dark reddish aura, but did not stop the sad face did also what the senior ordered.
"REST IN THE GRAK PLACE..
Attention yes brothers, welcome to the knights, during your stay here there will be some rules that you must obey, for more details will be explained later, but at a glance sy inform, no one moves carelessly let alone the arbitrary path here, you must line up neatly.
The commander of the troops must pay respect or ppm to every senior, lecturer, trainer or nanny you meet.." the senior command fierce, said his² had stopped for a moment, when our eyes met, when we met, but it soon continued: "For now, you must wait in this line until further notice."
The name on the sign says "Han", as simple as my name and the name of the sad face, which I had read "Ian". But we have a different aura.
"Sorry ka' Han, can we go to the toilet?" ask me to hold the step of the senior's foot when it looks like he will turn around and walk.
"Please head towards PKD, take turns and stay in line" he replied as he glared at me. I immediately got out of line and ran as fast as I could towards the PKD post.
"Stop, you can walk in an orderly way, right?" the reprimand sounded fierce.
"Sorry ka, it's kebelet.." I replied straightforwardly without turning my head and continued running towards the toilet he pointed at earlier.
"Ok the others stay in line!" sayup still heard si-senior's orders in the distance.
While running, I had a glimpse of the father of our group leader (emitting a bluish aura with yellowish aga) with another senior (emitting an aura of light brown coated with light green), also walking towards the PKD post under the giant statue earlier.
Coming out of the toilet, I saw ka'Han (with a dark red aura covered in pink and purple) being battered in silence with a senior princess who showed a puzzling, between fear, facial expression, attracted yet depressed (but the aura emanated from it was very clear, light brown plated in light purple). The signboard read Dina, a simple name as simple as her aura.
And to break the silence, I said: "Oh, ka'Han is waiting for me huh?"
The senior princess glanced at me for a moment and turned back towards ka'Han saying: "If you may excuse me!" then he did the ppm and passed, his purple aura darkening.
Ka'Han looked stunned and exuded a purplish aura, like guilt yet puzzled as to what his mistake was. ‘Kog I feel guilty? Did something happen between the two of them?’ inner again.
"Geer.. Don't get too familiar calling me ka'Han huh! That junior has no right to reprimand seniors. If asked, you can answer 'ready ka' or 'ready don't you' understand?" ka'Han replied then in a faint tone, but still emanated that light purple aura, which indicated the ketus was only acting, not from his heart.
"Ready ka" I replied straightforwardly to this smile, feeling funny with his reprimand. Then as Ka'Han continued on his way into the gates of the ksatrian (after I had been disrespectful), I moved quickly back towards the line of my friends.
Back next to the bluish-green sad face, Ian, who looked stunned looking at the senior princess who had spoken to ka'Han.
My right-left lyrics, my, trying to memorize (and pin on my introduction to the aura of each) as much as possible the name of my 1st generation candidate who comes from other regions (if friends who come from East Kalimantan, the origin of my registration, if my, I've already memorized everything).
Fortunately in this place, everyone wore nameplates and ranks, so the chances of me misrecognizing people would be very small.
Thank God, may my life be more meaningful in this place..
...***...
《This photo inspired the author describes the character of a Ute》