LIFE (Han, Ian, Dina, Ute & Pras)
Ep. 24 Still Cruise.. (Dina, Dina & Pras)

...~ IAN ~...

“Den, lunch is ready neh.” sound Mbok Yem say hello, a little surprise me who just came out of the toilet of the middle room.

“Oke Mbok, I call my friends first yes.” replied me kalem.

I also walked towards the terrace door that was still open accidentally heard the soft voice of Ka’ Dina who said: “Ute, never hang your happiness on someone outside yourself. If you want to be happy, then happiness should come from within yourself. Because happiness will not be realized and its nature is only for a moment if it comes from outside you.”

For a moment Ka’ Dina fell silent and continued towards Ute who was deepening down her beautiful face: “I could make the status of pretending to date with Ka’ Pras for the sake of you can feel happy with Ka’ Han, but want to until when the pretense takes place? Will I and Ka’ Pras be able to be happy later if the basis of our relationship is a lie?”

Ka’ Dina was silent again for a moment and then again said with increasingly fast sentences, I had to sharpen my ears to hear his voice: “So, so, if you do think of me as a Big Brother you never had before, I strongly suggest you ask your own heart, would you feel happier with Ka’ Han? Can his existence perfect your happiness and hers? That's all the main.. Okay dear?”

Suddenly silence was created and I unconsciously turned my head into this side room, just checking the whereabouts of the two of them and catching a glimpse of Ute, a girl who was always cheerful and full of courage, bowing his head deeply and shedding tears, in the embrace of Ka’ Dina.

I moved to the corner of the living room, towards the tiny bookcase where at the top was the Rega Planar 6 turntable vinyl player, a disc player. Some collections belonging to Baba I noticed at a glance has moved from the music room in Jakarta to this place, and my eyes are glued to the album Let It Be from The Beatles, and my eyes are glued to the album Let It Be from The Beatles, then can not resist to install the disc, put the needle and adjust the volume of sound that comes out so that it is not too loud, so that, but still can be heard up to the terrace room where Ka’ Dina and Ute sit.

After 1 song ended, I moved towards the terrace, knocked the door open and invited the two to lunch together.

...***...

The black-and-white Middle Eastern dining room that has an elegant impression looks too luxurious for the traditional food we eat. But Mbok Yem had strongly rejected my idea to eat in the kitchen with the housekeepers.

As usual, I can only agree to his decision.

“Ya ampyun, this is the most delicious vegetable I have ever tasted! Mbok Yem can already open a restaurant and definitely sell only with this recipe alone.” exclaimed Ute to Mbok Yem who just entered this dining room to deliver a new teapot.

“Ach, si-Non can aja.” replied naive Mbok Yem with a face look sumringah.

“Bener Mbok, it's a great meal!” ka’ Dina added.

“Yes thanks to the Gusti Allah if it is good, must eat a lot yes Miss both of these, still on too thin if in the eyes of this Mbok..” reply si-Mbok again.

Then when there was little food left that we had not spent and I could not stand this silence anymore, I said: “Okey Ute, spill it out, I said, what’s the deal bettwen you and Ka’ Han?” which replied Ute with eye-lotting. (translation \= alright Ute, please just convey.. What is the agreement between you and Ka’ Han?)

“Nothing concern you!” reply Ute after swallowing the food he was chewing when he was glaring ferociously. (translation \= nothing involves you!)

“Sorry.kirain we are open now, there are no more secrets. let alone after you are satisfied to dig up my childhood full of drama with reliable source Mbok Yem..” I said finally.

With a smile, Ka’ Dina said: “The drama is quite entertaining actually. make us a little more aware of your life that is always closed because of your attitude and style of speech that is economical Ian.”.

“Happy of the past I make Brother entertained, but when talking about irit. My style and attitude are not as strict as Ka’ Dinah deh.. I know that Brother is the most closed person I have ever met. Hence Ka’ Dina is the most suitable person to be a good-natured companion Ka’ Pras and always open personality.. The two brothers can complement each other beautifully.” I said bluntly making a red tinge appear on Ka’ Dina's face.

“Binggo!!¹” suddenly Ute exclaims glee, then adds: “Tuh ka’ Dina, I’m not the only one who think² Brother and Ka’ Pras it's a very ideal couple..” (translation \= ¹But!! ²I'm not the only one who thinks that.)

“Haish, you guys are paid how much ka’ Pras to promote himself and fool us?” asked Ka’ Dina while shaking her head, but still smiling.

“We are just friends, my dear brothers. There is no relationship between me and Ka’ Pras.” said Ka’ Dina again.

“Maybe not just kale huh Kak?” ask Ute again more kekeh and again ask: “Or do we need to ask directly to Ka’ Pras? Do we need to call him here to be confirmed what his intention is to approach Ka’ Dina for so long?” while opening Ka’ Pras contact on its HP.

“Apaan seh Ute ish.” says Ka’ Dina with cheeks as red as a boiled crab, but does not seem to reject the idea of calling Ka’ Pras into this house.

“Ian, can I take Ka’ Pras to your home?” ask Ute again towards me.

“Bby, as long as you tell us clearly, there is a relationship between you and Ka’ Han.” I replied taking advantage of the opportunity.

Ute back pouting at a glance, but finally relented: “Alright. later I story... I share-loc this place first to Ka’ Pras and spend our food and drinks yes.. Pity if wasted, Mbok Yem will have prepared it with all his heart.” (translation \= share location)

...***...

Now we have moved to the front room nuanced white, which we had passed when heading to the side terrace. The nearest position from the entrance, while waiting for the arrival of Ka’ Pras who has been contacted by Ute and will soon be docked here.

Ka’ Dina seemed hesitant earlier when choosing her sitting position, while Ute had immediately found comfort sitting on the soft sofa beside me, close enough to whisper if deemed necessary, he said, but not too close also because it does not touch. He stacked 2 cushions under his feet and hugged 1 pillow on his lap.

“So?” my question went back to Ute who seemed to have deliberately lingered to tell me the status of her relationship with Ka’ Han that made me even more curious.

“Hm, Ka’ Han is the most narcissistic person I have ever met. From the beginning I never had any sympathy for him. Until you left us both in the hotel room that morning. For the first time Ka’ Han dared to show his own identity at that time, the fragility he tried to cover with jaim and suddenly this sympathy grew.” finally Ute began the story.

“Then the story continues. We spend a lot of time together on that last vacation. Several times we both met unplanned and lastly, according to Ka’ Han, Ka’ Pras was once ventured about Ka’ Dina, Kail, who already liked Ka’ Pras from before Ka’ Han and Ka’ Dina soan, but Ka’ Dina increasingly close themselves after the breakup. It is said to make Ka’ Pras more sad.” Ute said as she looked at Ka’ Dina who still looked at Ute with a flat face.

“Konon said, The easiest way to forget a relationship is to start a new one. So in order to make Ka’ Dina able to move on and in the end can receive Ka’ Pras, Ka’ Han invites me to start a relationship as well. So our relationship to date is still under investigation.” continued Ute.

...***...

...~ DINA ~...

“It looks like Ute has started to have feelings also to Ka’ Han huh? But worried about hurting my heart, so he asked for my consideration at that time yes ‘te?” I said I was beginning to understand the storyline Ute was telling.

“So just wait time for Ute will receive Ka’ Han's heart huh?” tanya Ian looked at Ute more intensely.

“Not also seh Ian.kan I am also not sure with the intention of Ka’ Han heart, is it really because I like it or just just think of me as a diversion..” reply Ute with raw face nelangsa.

“But if the seriousness of Ka’ Pras, we do not need to hesitate right Kak?” asked Ian again, who this time looked solemnly facing towards me who was again feeling the heat around this face.

“Dad Ian, the questionable is my heart Ian. I do not want to start a new relationship again now-now, worried that I only use Ka’ Pras to just be able to move on.”, I replied again stunned by the truth of my words.

“But I don't mind being used.. Every crumb of attention that can be loved, as small and trivial as it is, I will receive with open arms and I consider it a gift from God.” The voice of Ka’ Pras surprised us all.

I don't know how long he's been coming and listening to our conversation, but obviously the heat on this face is going to go past its maximum point and I'm standing up, to go to the toilet together with the voice of Ian and Ute who exclaimed: “Ka’ Pras!!”

“Sorry I need to go to the toilet first.” I said while pressing the stomach with the left hand and covering the mouth with the right hand.

Arriving at the toilet, I went straight to the sink and washed my face with cold water repeatedly. Then when the heart was calm, I took a white towel from the bottom drawer of the sink to dry the face.

For a while I just sat in a tight, well-closed toilet. Trying to calm the heart and find the right reason to immediately leave this house and luxury that not only causes admiration but also envy. The longer in this place, I worry will be more comfortable and at the same time will be greater also the sense of wanting to have arise.

‘It would be a mistake if I stayed here. Especially with the presence of Ka’ Pras.. but what is the best reason I can convey?’ my mind is back on fire.

“Dina... have you been in there long enough, do I need to forcefully enter? We are worried thisih.” sound Ka’ Pras disperse my daydream. Spontaneously I looked at the simple watch I was wearing and was surprised, it had been more than 20 minutes I was hiding and it was fitting that they started to feel worried.

“Iya Sis, sorry, I am out soon.” I replied finally, turning on the flush closet, for imaging, which I have been sitting on for so long.

Then got up, checked my appearance once again in the mirror and prepared to go out and open the door.

“Eh Ka’ Pras!!” I said surprised to see her figure in front of the door.

“Dina..” answered briefly, still blocking my steps who subconsciously wanted to close the door in front of him with myself fixed in the toilet.

We had a split second view, “Kakak want to use the toilet?” many finally.

Ka’ Pras just shook his head for a moment, then: “Are you sick Dina?” he asked with a worried-looking face.

“No Brother..” I replied not really understand the direction of the question, but when finally my consciousness returned, which he might ask because I was too long in the toilet, I quickly added: “Tadi only aga mules, it has long not been a home sambel, which quite a lot I had eaten, so aga revolted this stomach.”.

Ka’ Pras remained silent looking at me who had subconsciously closed the door behind me.

“Sorry Brother, it looks like I need to go home to Ksatrian now. can you give me the way?” ask me as polite as possible as a junior to his senior.

“We will stay here for a while now Dina!” sahut Ka’ Pras firmly.

“But..” my answer came to a halt when I saw Ka’ Pras crossing both of his arms across his chest.

“Do I look like a Nindya Praja who is being denied her orders by a Madya Praja?” ka’ Pras asked later, which made me unable to resist these glaring eyes to challenge the authority of his seniority, which was extremely out of place.

“If Dina dares to run away, I will not hesitate to chase after you!” ka’ Pras again.

I imagined this map of Ian's house, the distance between this toilet to the door and what kind of drama would happen when there was a chase scene here.

“Dina,” says Ka’ Pras again: “So I can even see smoke coming out of your pretty head pores. Stop overloading your mind with such useless calculations and images and follow my orders!”

Both my legs twitched indistinctly. Is it because of the itching to immediately blur back to the Ksatrian or immediately turn the body and go back into the toilet behind me. I really can't decide.

“Do not try to think about it!” ka’ Pras said again getting closer to me who has now tendered himself to the toilet door. ‘Why does this scene feel familiar huh?’ My mind recalls the events next to the library building, but the ones that came out of my mouth were: “I'm not trying to think of anything, sister!”

“Oh really?” Ka’ Pras again said in a slow tone.

“Does Brother do this just to torture me? Why doesn't Ka’ Pras let me just go home?” my murmur.

“I want you here.” replied Ka’ Pras lightly while smiling mysteriously.

“But why?” I insist on asking for an explanation.

“I am not..” My denial was thrown spontaneously, but immediately I fell silent, because I was self-aware, of course I was running away from him.

“Smart girl!” ka’ Pras murmurs sound soft.

I pouted towards him, eager to say a reply to a sentence that was truly ridiculous but contained insults for him, but I had a feeling that anything would come out of this mouth, in the end it might even result in the opposite, which would make me even more cornered, so I held my tongue. ‘Better to be a quiet moron than a chatty but humiliated one.’ my inner self.

“Habur when looking at senior and not immediately salute is a very despicable deed!” ka’ Pras said hyperbole, while ruffled waist and somehow managed to look authoritative but at the same time remain relaxed.

“That was by accident Brother!” my grouser.

“Oh I believe you accidentally.” sahut Ka’ Pras fast, then silent as thinking and then continue: “But, although Dina has no intention of escaping, it is, still in reality once the opportunity arises, you will do it right?”

“What Ka’ Pras blames me?” I made him go back and think.

Ka’ Pras was seen grinning for a moment and replied: “Sama absolutely does not. I would probably do the same if I was caught talking about someone by that person.”

My mouth was open in disbelief at his words.

“Oh Dina.. ga do not pretend to be offended deh..” says Ka’ Pras again.

“I'm not pretending!” quickly answer.

Ka’ Pras seemed to be getting closer to me and with a ignorant smile said: “To be honest, I am quite flattered you are worried about my feelings that might be sad if you feel Dinah take advantage of.”

We stared for a moment in silence. I could almost feel us scrambling for oxygen around us to keep breathing normally.

“Alright, since the matter is over, I will return to Ksatrian.” I said finally closing our residence.

I tried to force myself to step on the right side of the body Ka’ Pras, but only the second step, the hand of Ka’ Pras immediately stuck catch my right hand and said: “I think our question is not finished Dina.”

I forced to turn this body back towards Ka’Pras and sighed saying: “Kakak has made me feel very very embarrassed. What else exactly does Ka’ Pras want to do against me?”

Slowly almost without us noticing, Ka’ Pras pulled my body closer and softly muttered: “That's a very good question.”

I tried to press the heel of my PDH shoe onto this slippery granite floor to hold my body, which was, but my efforts are not comparable to the strength of the slow pull of Ka’ Pras hand that I cannot avoid. After a brief moment, I found myself only a few inches away from the hard body of Ka’ Pras.

The air suddenly felt hot, very hot, and I felt a very strange emotion, that I no longer knew how to control my own hands and feet. My skin is shrinking, my heart is pounding fast and hard and this man in front of me is just looking at me, looking at me closely.

“Ka’ Pras?” I whispered a moment later.

Ka’ Pras looks smiling, an understandable smile that again sends cold waves to my spinal cord and at once to all other parts of my body.

“I love to hear you say my name.” said Ka’ Pras later.

“But..” my sentence was cut back when Ka’ Pras raised one finger to my lips and said: “Sshhh... don't say it.” Then back to asking: “Dina don't know if the word no is the word that most men don't want to hear?”

“I don't have much experience with men.” I replied spontaneously.

“Well that's just the thing that a man wants to hear.” Ka’ Pras smile back when saying it.

“Really?” many doubt.

Ka’ Pras touched my cheek with her fingertips, as if banishing the imaginary hairdo that was blocking her sight and answered slowly: “That's what I wanted to hear from Dina.”

A gentle gust of air shot out from my lips as I gasped. ‘Oh, Ka’ Pras will kiss me. That is the most amazing and terrible thing that might happen.. But oh but, how much I want this thing my inner’, conscious all-knowingly that I will regret this tomorrow. ‘Who am I deceiving? I'll regret it in the next 10 minutes my inner’ again.

Ka’ Pras' finger lightly swept my cheek straight to the temple and from there ventured into my brow, rubbing the fine fur as her fingers moved to my nose shaft while gently pointing: “Very beautiful, <TAG1>, like fairies in fairy tales sometimes in my opinion, you can't be real Dina, always too far for me to reach. and now you're here.”.

...***...

...~ PRAS ~...

The only answer Dina heard was ******* her breath was hunting.

“In my opinion, I will kiss you soon,” I whispered to see his reddened face.

“According to Ka’ Pras?” ask Dina slowly.

“In my opinion, I should kiss you Dina.” erratku, although it may seem to distrust my own words, then add: “It was a bit like breathing. In this case, people do not have much choice.”

Our kisses felt very soft. My lips swept along Dina's lips very very lightly, afraid to surprise her, back and forth with just a tiny bit of light friction, yet somehow it felt quite stifling to my chest and made me feel a little unkempt.

Dina gripped my waist, perhaps without realizing it, her sweet face looked dazed and her gaze looked foreign.

I tried to kiss her as gently and as gently as possible. Not wanting to force and hope this becomes a moment that is not only beautiful for me but also in Dina's feelings. But this self is not power forward when feeling the rolling humidity: “Dina, you cry?” ask me in a soft whisper while touching her cheek to wipe those tears.

Dina blinked her eyes.

“Dina want me to stop?” then I still whispered.

Dina shook her sweet face, smiled slightly, revealing her adorable dimples. A hint of thought and consideration seemed to flash in his mind that was always active, but he looked confused.

And I can't help myself not to kiss her back.

Fervently kiss her, with more intense lips attached and a tongue that roams freely as well as with all the passion and lust that a normal man once craved.

I want Dina to feel herself beautiful, precious and priceless. I want to treat her like a respectable woman. But on the other hand, I also want to remind him that this is real, this attachment between us is really there and full of human excitement. I want it with this whole body and soul.

My lips that originally started intimacy with such tender appreciation, now began to feel savage and demanding on Dina's lips.

Both of my hands whose palms were starting to get rough ever since I diligently practiced the wood carving skill, firmly closed half Dina's back and held her back with a force that made Dina seem to hold her breath, making her seem to melt, making her melt, shivering while my hard body was increasingly demanding unification, as if the tightness of our body that was sticking from the chest to the thigh was still not satisfying me. Something feels hard down there.

“Oh Dina..” I muttered involuntarily, as if I had been kneeling before him, surrounded by longing and needy, raucously I heard my own voice say: “I never felt.”

I suddenly felt Dina's body stiffen and I distanced her body a few centimeters away, focused my gaze, felt the need to look at her expression and as it remained clueless that raged in her mind, I finally asked: 'Lead more: “What's up?”

Dina shook her head slowly and replied in doubt: “Nothing.”

I touched my finger at the end of her chin and raised Dina's pretty face and asked her again: “Don't lie to Dina, what's wrong?”

“I.. I'm just nervous Sis..” said Dina stammered, “That's it!”

My eyes narrowed implying both suspicion as well as worry and asked again: “You are sure Dina?”

“Very sure!” dina retracted from my touch and walked away a few steps, hugging herself.

“Ka’ Pras should know, I have never done anything like this.” he said later.

I followed and observed Dina who was walking further and further away towards the terrace and continued to go outside, observing the full blurry line on her back. Then no power said: “I know Dina, you are not the type of girl who wants to do such a thing carelessly.”

I noticed at a glance, not a resident of this house even showed the trunk of his nose. They really gave us privacy. ‘Thank you Ian and Ute’ my inner groan.

Dina finally stopped near the fountain pool in this beautiful garden and maybe she also smiled briefly, I don't know.. I couldn't see her face turning back to me but I could imagine her expression when asking: “How did Ka’ Pras know?”

“Very clear from whatever you do Dina.” I replied trying to convince him that I understand his heart turmoil and was willing more than anyone to share any problems he experienced.

Dina did not twist her body. He didn't say anything either.

Then I heard the song Real Love by The Beatles, maybe it was a round of songs from the same disc that was from earlier played.

Then, before I had time to think and consider more carefully, the most awkward and for the first time ever plea was thrown out of this mouth: “Dina, <TAG1>Dina, please allow yourself this to be useful in your life that seems full of hardship! Don't carry that burden alone! There's still me, Dina.”

Dina's arms looked straight stiff like a hard stick with small fists clenched tightly. Then as I waited for her to say something, Dina instead moved towards the front gate quickly.

“Wait!” ranguku and finally managed to catch up to Dina in 4 wide steps, grabbed her wrist again and pulled her to be forced to turn towards me, “Don't go!” doors again.

“It is not my habit to want to continue accompanied by people who insult me or worse, pity me.” said Dina with a face full of pain.

I almost flinched with her words and knew I would forever be haunted by the seething glare that emanated in Dina's eyes and felt compelled to say a self-defense that might be a bit lame: “I never insulted much less pity you Dina! You do not deserve to continue living in suffering and bearing your burdens alone. It already looks very clear to me and should also be obvious to you!”

Dina laughs sadly, the sound of a bland laugh that I never thought I would be able to hear from her and then Dina asks: “Then according to Ka’ Pras, Dina asked, if anyone says my life seems to be full of hardship, what should I do?”

“You can lift your head and say: Please help me!” answer's short.

Dina sighed, then in a sad tone, which made my heart feel pity, she said: “Ka’ Pras is indeed a very good person, thank you for trying to help me.. but I think everything is enough. I'm not the responsibility of Brother.”

“Dina can be my responsibility, if you are willing of course.” I said quickly.

Dina looked at me with a look of surprise and right at that moment, I knew I had to have this woman and would not let her go again. There is a kind of relationship between the two of us, a strange bond that is difficult to explain and maybe I will only ever feel once in this life.

For some reason, I again remembered the advice of my parents: "Tresna kanggo manungsa may amerga katresnane marang Gusti Allah sing Nyipta'aken manungsa!" (translation \= Love to a human being is simply due to a love for God the God of the Universe who created man)

‘Is this what great love feels like?’ my mind wonders and thanks the Gusti of God for this one blessing.

...***...