LIFE (Han, Ian, Dina, Ute & Pras)
Ep. 20 Suitable (Han, Dina & Ute Perspective)

...~ HAN ~...

I feel very embarrassed because Pras can still give from his shortcomings. He can give holiday souvenirs in the form of carved names from wood, which after I open the package at Wisma, I estimate the price is not less than Rp. 300,000,- on the market. Aga did not believe in fact that Pras had said the carving was the work of his hand, who diligently practiced since the beginning of the holiday. In addition to good personality, Pras also turned out to have a lot of talent. My assessment of her figure, which was initially very bad for being brave clearly showed her interest in Dina, who was still my partner, is now starting to change.

I had time to find out that Pras did not come from a capable family, because he once published the story of himself being able to enter this Kedinasan School in an article published on MAP (Majalah Abdi Praja) some time ago.

Without shame, even impressed proud, he revealed the economic condition of the family is very deficient and how felt as a miracle in itself, he could finally continue his school, as well as the hopes in the future.

Now the three of us have been sitting in front of dinner each in the cafeteria below Menza which is still not too crowded.

“So during this holiday, how many name carvings have you made? How long will it take to create 1 masterpiece?” ask me to have a little chat before putting a meal in this mouth.

“Ga many sister, I only had time to make a carving of the names of some people whose names are attached to the heart and often come to mind this. Not necessarily the time limit needed to complete 1 work, for example to make my brother's name takes about 3 days while for Ian's name less than 2 days is complete. Recently I was able to understand the name ‘insting artisans’, in this case wood carving craftsmen, we can create works based on hand movements that are set in the heart and not just the mind alone.” Pras replied at length after swallowing his food.

I just nodded slowly, but was still curious because the answer did not answer the question that I really wanted to ask, even though it did not say: ‘Did you also carve the name Dina?’.

“So, what can I help Kak?” ian asked breaking the stillness that was created.

“Hm.. previously, I need to explain that I feel I have a great responsibility in advancing the economic condition of our village. Although it has many carvers and carvers, but due to its relatively remote location and ability to read market tastes and poor selling power, our village tends to be underdeveloped and economically very poor. So I had thought to create a village cooperative that would coordinate the marketing of carvings in our village, in addition to also be a training center for the surrounding population as well. But the establishment of cooperatives requires funds that are not small. So by swallowing this embarrassment, I ventured to invite Ian and Ka’ Han, if they pleased, to invest economically and socially as well, because they might not immediately return the capital, he said, in the establishment of this cooperative.” Pras again explained clearly, even with a reddened face, maybe he felt shame and compulsion.

‘His self-worth is getting better in my eyes.’ My mind is soft, unconsciously observing the simple face and stature he has been showing.

“Wah, very noble ideals actually.. But have you ever coordinated with the local government regarding this matter? Surely there is an allocation of village development funds or MSME development program (Micro, Small and Medium Enterprises) from the Jepara Regency government to your village?” tanyaku began to show interest, because suddenly remembered LA-ku (final report/scriptions) which had felt bland because of lack of meaning and hope ahead.

“Siap already Kak, when signing the Leave Letter, I had stopped by the Cooperative Office, SMEs, Manpower and Transmigration of Jepara Kak Regency, but it seems that due to limited facilities and infrastructure, including personnel and budgets, areas that are remote and far from the city center, have not been glimpsed and are not a priority at this time. So the only way, yes with self-help and self-help for the moment, while waiting in case there will be help from the local government.” again Pras explained excitedly, saying, although it does not discredit the local government.

“I am willing to be one of the investors for Ka’ Pras cooperative, as long as the AD-ART is clear. In fact, if I may suggest, we make a proposal just Kak, so that there is an allocation of funds also from CSR (Company Social Respossibility/allocation of a company's social funds) owned by my parents. Will definitely be bigger budget that can be used and more sectors that will be touched.” Ian suddenly became enthusiastic.

Finally, we discussed in more detail about the proposal to establish a cooperative until far night. The three of us decided to become Co-Founders of the Cooperative. Ian even took the time to take a laptop to his guesthouse (which is indeed the closest position to the canteen) to type directly the scheme/plan development of Jepara Special Carving from Pras home village with more specific.

...***...

When I returned to Wisma, with a position facing the laptop in this study room, I changed the topic of my LA, in terms of government leadership into a discussion about the role of the Government in advancing local creative efforts.

In the days that followed, I communicated with Pras and Ian more and more. Could be 2 to 3 times we met for urung reform revision proposal and AD-ART Cooperative. There are just ideas and constructive input that we can add every day.

Despite the very different economic conditions and circumstances between Ian and Pras, I see a common vision and mission between the two. And I thank you for joining them, growing together and becoming more and more like the two of them. I learned a lot from them, even though I was the most senior, but I think I learned more from them.

Without feeling brotherhood and friendship between the three of us increasingly thick felt. My respect was even more felt to these 2 juniors. They are men who are independent and have the fighting power to improve conditions, not just cursing and cursing problems, but always strive to be ‘agent revamp’ and at the same time solve the problem, even be the answer to the problem.

This respect was not reduced when I had time to check the togetherness of Dina and Pras some time ago beside the Library building. Their position was indeed covered by a tree, but it was clear that they were talking familiarly. Dina seemed to be holding a large parcel (if seen at a glance like a carved name from wood that some time ago also received from Pras) and at a glance like leaning his back against the wall of the Library building, the Library, while Pras stood in a very close position in front of Dina. Although I could not hear what they were talking about, but I knew enough to be able to be heartened and breastfed to accept the situation. I have started to consider Dina to be happy, as well as myself trying to make peace with the situation and be happy.

...***...

...~ DINA ~...

“Auch..” I unknowingly rubbed my head that hit the shoulder of someone's field.

“Sorry Dina, are you okay?” my impactor figure looked worried, lowered his face, feeling too close to my face.

I retreated by reflex and did not realize that there was a tree root holding my legs back to balance myself, so that my body leaned back almost fell into a slump if there was no firm hand that caught my waist swiftly. Our bodies had been firmly attached from the chest to the snoring, feeling familiar and pleasant, but at the same time also unsettling, as it triggered this increased heart rate.

We looked at each other, both shocked and fixated for a moment in silence. Only her subtle sighs that I felt blew through my face and a moment later awakened me. Immediately I pulled this body away and unconsciously stuck my back to the side wall of the library building I was just about to leave. The heat instantly burned my face.

“Oh Ka’ Pras.. iyah it is okay ka.. thanks for being helped, so do not fall me..” I said then stammering, while trying to lower my face deeply.

“Have finished reading it Dina?” tanya Ka’ Pras moments later.

“Eh yes Brother, already.” I said then confusedly, in addition to wondering where he knew I was reading in the Library was also still feeling careless because our standing position felt too close and unsettling.

“Sorry, I had a chance to see Dina was reading seriously in the Perpus corner earlier, then I returned to Wisma because there is someone I want to love to you.. but sorry if it is not good yes, homemade sy because.” replied Ka’Pras, like being able to read my mind, while slightly rewind his body and thrust a package.

“Eh, thank you Kak.” I stammered again and received the package, holding it using both hands because it felt heavy.

“Kog views only?” tanya Ka’ Pras a moment later.

“Should I open now Brother? Or can I open it later at Wisma?” tanyaku then, again feel bored with our standing position, which although aga covered by a large tree when viewed from the main road, but can still be seen people who go out or enter the Library.

“Oh it is up to you Dina, I have the right to require you to do anything.” replied Ka’ Pras quickly.

“Then, please allow me to return to Wisma Kak.. once again thanks for the souvenirs, but sorry I did not go home on leave this time, this time, so can't bring Brother any souvenirs.” I said while begging to be given space for me to walk.

“There is no class yet? Want to go back to Wisma?” tanya Ka’ Pras later, as if I did not let go of me.

“Siap no class Kak.. It wants to return to Wisma.”, I replied again.

“If I may accompany you yes, it seems you are also troubled to bring the parcels and books you just borrowed from the Library yes?” ka’ Pras said while taking back the package and some books from my hands that were carrying 5 thick books that I wanted to read at Wisma later.

“Oh no kak, I can just kog.” I replied quickly, trying to refuse his help, because I did not want to feel more indebted again. But when my palm touched his warm hand when he was about to take back the book he had taken, I immediately pulled back this hand, because it felt like it was electrocuted.

“Dina, please do not close your heart too tightly.. especially to me.. do not reject this sincerity, because it feels very painful.may ya?” asked Ka’ Pras again while returning to the position of his face towards my face that had been lowered deeply again, at first glance I saw his eyes filled with the highlight of the plea.

“Iya Kak. sorry Kak.” I said again stamped, unconsciously rewind my body which turned out to be still attached to the wall of the Library.

Then Ka’ Pras faced the right and extended his hand, as if opening a path and allowing me to walk beside him.

It is impossible to refuse this time, because the book and the parcel, which he said had been souvenirs from Ka’ Pras, are still in the grasp of Ka’ Pras, so we ended up walking side by side towards my guesthouse.

In silence while walking beside Ka’ Pras, I tried to digest his words earlier. ‘Am I really closing my heart? Is it clearly visible by a Ka’ Pras? What did he say? A sincerity? Is there really still such a thing as sincerity in this world?’ my mind filled my mind so that it did not pay too much attention to the road.

“Dina, there is a portal cross, watch your head can be sucked!” ka’ Pras said aloud while covering my head with his right palm, trying to block the impact that might make this eyedropper with the half-open portal cross.

“Oh!!” I called out briefly while stopping suddenly and had time to make my body roll back into the embrace of the left hand of Ka’ Pras, which though while holding books and packages, was back, it still feels pressing on my back and makes my front body enter the deck. The heat again dominated my face when I looked up to look at his face, with clear eyes fixed on my eyes.

“Sorry Brother..” I said again trying to stay away, but stuck in the back.

“In a moment..” he said, then continued “Sorry Dina.. Our sense of closeness is so pleasant and at the same time intoxicating.” while loosening his embrace and at a glance I see the face of Ka’ Pras again reddened.

“This is the portal of the princess area, I can only take you here. We meet again sometime.. Please just tell me, I must be here!” ka’ Pras said again, handing over my luggage while looking me in the eye intensely.

“Good Sister, thank you once again. right turn permit, good afternoon.” I said cleanly, arranged my luggage and hurriedly walked into the children's area to the guesthouse where I live. I hold as much as possible to look back, to satisfy the curiosity of whether Ka’ Pras still stands there.

I don't know, the dissatisfaction is a punishment for me, I'm punishing myself for not knowing myself, again hoping to be happy in a new relationship, though the wound due to separation with Ka’ Han was still not dry.

Several times I have seen the figure of Ka’ Han who although still handsome and handsome, but also looks thinner and looks unhappy. His face was getting hardened and there was an impression of the sangar clearly imprinted there. It was as if the whole world was his enemy. A very clear message to me as much as possible to avoid it.

...***...

...~ UTE ~...

I've been following the two since I walked out of this Library building.

The auras of the two were so suited to each other. I've never seen the aura of 2 people chime like that. There was a faint bluish-green tinge radiating from within the two of them, meet harmoniously on the side of the body that is approaching each other even though it does not touch and the red color of almost orange which is no less faint covering the two, like keeping the bluish-green from other auras that try to damage the harmony. Their auras were not exactly the same, yet so complementary.

And unknowingly, I had already strayed from the path I was supposed to be on. After listing the English-language books in the Library, I should move to the Secretariat Room of the English Community Union (ECU) or English Conversation Club (ECC) in Menza's basement, but because of the unkindness of seeing the aura of those 2 seniors, I so subconsciously followed their steps.

After studying more intensely, the interest in the two figures was not without cause. From his distinctive aura, I finally recognized their figure, yes Ka’ Dina and Ka’ Pras. 2 seniors who both had saved him when bullied senior in 2 different time periods.

“Ups..” unknowingly I closed my mouth when I saw Ka’ Dina's head almost hit the portal cross, but Ka’ Pras' hand just got in the way and I got back to enjoying it, of course in silence and still maintaining distance, the view of the proximity of the two figures.

“Good day Ka’ Pras.” my carefree handkerchief while giving PPM.

“Eh Ute.. Where to go to deck?” tanya Ka’ Pras with its distinctive bluish green aura, but there is a line of purple sadness that briefly out.

“Hm.. from earlier Kak, would follow Ka’ Dina and Ka’ Pras aja.” said I was full of smiles to tease and try to cheer his figure who looked sad.

Successfully, the purple tinge was gone immediately, replaced by a bright red color between shame or anger, but judging by the gestures of Ka’ Pras that looked like it was going to touch my forehead with his fingers, he said, I make sure my temptation fits on target.

“Let me aduin to Ka’ Dina loh Kak.. Ka’ Pras tries to hurt her beautiful and cheerful sister.” My word avoids her jolt.

“Don't Ute. later he increasingly dislikes me..” replied Ka’ Pras slowly.

“Wait a second.. Did Ka’ Pras feel that Ka’ Dina has not liked this big sister?” ask me curious, aga do not understand the relationship between the two. (translation: wait a minute)

“Yeah that's how it is.. It seems that since there was a relationship with Ka’ Han, Dina kept her distance and always showed a tormented expression if she had to be forced to meet me.” brownish aura mingled purple sadness back out from Ka’ Pras.

“And it grieves the heart of Ka’ Pras because.?” I was looking for certainty.

“Who would not be sad if the person he adored felt tormented with him?” Ka’ Pras answered with a rhetorical question.

“Have Ka’ Pras confirmed the tormented taste, which may or may not actually be felt this Ka’ Dina against Sister, to the concerned directly?” ask again.

“Hm, never before a deck.. How do you think?” ask her again with a curious orange aura.

“I do not have the competence to confirm what Ka’ Dina feels or does not feel. But, since then I have followed Brother both go hand in hand, which I see a radiance of harmony yes.. Ka’ Pras and Ka’ Dina look very compatible together. Supposedly, the harmony is not emanated if there are indeed people who feel uncomfortable with each other. But for more details, it's good Ka’ Pras ask directly to Ka’ Dina. maybe Sister can take Ka’ Dina cruise together, let more freely ask her.” replied me normative, so you can ask her, but still trying to strengthen the heart of Ka’ Pras.

“H.. Dina will definitely refuse with a thousand and one reasons.By already tried several times the deck.” said Ka’ Pras accentuate the tinge of his purple brown aura.

“How about I take Ka’ Dina cruise, then later we meet where it is, belaga ga on purpose.. later I unplug it first and Ka’ Pras can talk more intensely with Ka’ Dina..” my proposal.

“You are indeed a good sister Ute..” said Ka’ Pras later, re-emitting a bluish green aura that looks cool.

“Yeah, at least that’s all I can do to repay what you’ve make for me. The engraving name that I have made is loh. beautiful banged Kak, if the carving was made by Ka’ Pras himself.” I replied to remember the souvenirs from Ka’ Pras that I received from Ian some time ago in class. (translation: Well, translation: Well, at least that's all I can do to return your work to me)

“If the carved name is beautiful, then the result must also be beautiful. and yes, I also did not expect to be able to finish some carving names from wood during the holiday. But my pleasure is that you like it.” said Ka’ Pras a moment later with a reddish aura glow again (a color that reflects the shame emitted by a humble person).

“Okeh Ka’ Pras. I will soon follow Ka’ Dina.. later we will meet where and when, I will infokan to Sister again yes!” pamitku then, while giving PPm and said: “Good day Brother.”

“Oke Ute, I wait for the good news.Good afternoon my beautiful sister.” replied Ka’ Pras and we broke away in the opposite direction.

...***...

“Good afternoon Brother, permission to meet with Ka’ Dina.” my broom while giving PPM to a senior who was drying his towel in the guesthouse.

“Siang dek... I will call if you know my name and origin of registration.” replied the senior brother who made me confused, he only used training and casual t-shirts, he only used training, no name identity or anything. The aura he emitted was also average-colored without accentuating any specificity.

“Siap Kak.. I know Kak.” I replied slowly while trying to find a clue.

“Tau what are you? Basic Lanangcelup!” the hardic.

“Diinnnnaaaa. there is a young adek who nyariin you neh.” said si-senior towards inside the guesthouse.

“Who yes? Oh Ute. bentar ya dek..” replied Ka’Dina for a moment look at a glance seen in the window A tenement.

“Titip push-up 20x yes Dina, adek this does not know me but dare I tell you.” continued si-senior earlier when passing by Ka’ Dina who came out of Wisma.

“Udah like a celebrity you, must be known as banged sister-sister.” replied Ka’ Dina.

“Ga to worry, he's my only friend. His name is Tiwi, the origin of East Java registration. Again want to nakut-nakutin you aja, ga nosy kog his person.. here sit here aja we ‘te!” ka’ Dina said then pointed to the cool courtyard, an aura emanating from Ka’ Dina. bluish green color that is very identical to the aura of Ka’ Pras.

After I sat down next to her, Ka’ Dina again asked jokingly: “What's wrong? Tumben there is a beautiful princess nyariin commoners like me.”

“Ka’ Dina can aja ish..” I replied slowly.

“That's Sis, want to take Ka’ Dina cruise with you on Saturday.” connect me again.

“Wah, the more tumben neh? What's wrong?” he asked again, there was a brownish orange aura coming out. Curiosity mixed with suspicion.

“Like banged suspicious Brother? Time should there be nothing first new a sister who needs affection can invite her sister to cruise together?” I pretended to be sad.

“Hahaha.. your acting is pretty good Ute, but if you are facing a Dina, you still need a lot more practice.” said Ka’ Dina later.

“Oke-okay. indeed there is nothing seh Kak.. I want to ask for help with Brother.” I replied slowly, trying to find the reason that is closest to the truth, I want to ask you, because it seems like Ka’ Dina does have a very good intuition, it seems like the experience is often injured, making him more aware/wary of sincerity and deceit.

“Ask what deck please? Kog seriously banged it looks like?” ask later.

“Begini Kak, there was a friend who gave me a special gift. It seems very disrespectful if I don't give a reply gift. But I need the opinion and advice of Big Brother, well to help me choose a gift for him.” I replied back slowly, trying to stay in a serious pose.

“Why should I? Is it not the best gift that should be the most useful for the one that will be given the gift? You should take your friend and ask him what gift you want.” said Ka’ Dina with an undeniable logic.

“The problem is Sis, he gives surprise gifts and not everyday items, so it would be better if I also give the same gift as well. But I am confused what to love him.so need advice and input from Brother.” finally I can give an answer after being silent for a while.

“How can I give advice or input to you, if I just do not know who your friend is Ute?” Ka’ Dina again argued logically.

“Kakak knows kog with him. Our senior is also Kak, the person is nice and always friendly to anyone, although lately aga a little changed to aga more quiet, for some reason.. Brother wants yah accompany me cruise with Saturday later. please Kak.” I said again while shaking his arms trying to bring kindness to his heart.

Ka’ Dina's aura suddenly returned dark brown, full of bitterness wounds and she seemed to think seriously for a moment.

She firmly ended up saying: “Sorry Ute, it seems like I can't help you on this. First, because I do not have time this Saturday, my agenda is crowded, you know a lot of reports that I have to make, not to mention the task of teaching the children of lecturers. Second, I have no experience buying gifts for others, my inability will actually prevent you from being creative to give the most appropriate gift. So I apologize can not fulfill your request this time yes.I also have a lot of duties neh, need to be reprimanded from now.You should also return to your guesthouse only, I'm going this afternoon.. By yes Ute..” said Ka’ Dina lengthen while pulling my hand to get up and half pushing me out of the courtyard of his guesthouse.

“Alright Ka’ Dina, I say back to the guesthouse first, good afternoon Brother.” I said finally by lunglai giving PPM to him.

On the way to my guesthouse, my thoughts drifted to the figure of Ka’ Pras. Aga is sad and concerned about Ka’ Pras who needs to fight hard to get the heart of Ka’ Dina who has continued full of bitterness.

Suddenly I remembered the early lyrics of Coldplay's song Shiver:

...So I look in your direction...

...(translation: Then I look at you)...

...But you pay me no attention, do you?...

...(.(.But you didn't notice me, did you?)...

...I know you don't listen to me...

...(.(.I know you're not listening to me)...

...'Cause you say you see straight through me,...

...don't you?...

...(.(.Because you said you t’lah understand me,...

...yes, right?)...

...***...