LIFE (Han, Ian, Dina, Ute & Pras)
Ep. 18 Leave.. (Han, Ian & Ute)
...~ HAN ~...
Year-end holidays, usually very much awaited by all Praja. Like most students, the holidays are a time to look forward to and be enjoyed with all your heart, after a long time struggling with lessons, assignments and exams.
But this time I hate him.
Since the return of both my parents and my beloved sister to our home in North Sumatra, this spirit of life has been carried away. But there was absolutely no desire to see them again. So for a number of reasons, I reported that I will spend the holidays this time in Jakarta, a metropolitan city that is said to be full of frenzy. I wish this spirit of life could be found there again.
Some time ago, I had planned to spend this vacation with Dina. Accompanying him to return to his parents' home in South Sulawesi there. Based on the information of some people, Dina has 2 times leave only at Ksatrian alone because it does not have the cost to go home, then armed with savings from pocket money that is routinely sent Among and Inong, so that they have no money to go home, I booked a plane ticket for both of us, but all of them are just memories.
We have been 2 months more no longer struggling, even when passing by though. Dina seemed to dodge as much as she could and I had lost the intention of approaching her again.
Falling is sick, and falling in love is no exception. Our togetherness some time ago only felt as a beautiful dream that quickly passed without a trace, in addition to the deep wounds that always felt sore in this heart, especially when looking at his figure who also looks thinner and aga looks sad.
A sense of wanting to comfort and say all was well, always flashed in this thought whenever his figure caught the eye. But always stuck with the memory of his parting words: “Again I apologize, sister.I just saw we will end up hating each other if this relationship continues. There are too many barriers and differences between us. Please do not impose your will and let us make peace with the circumstances. I won't blame anyone and I hope Ka’Han doesn't blame anyone either. I'm happy to know and be known Ka’Han. Let us part ways in this happiness huh Brother.”
I don't hate him, I never want to hate him and I don't want him to. I just hate this helplessness and the pain it causes. Dina is worth fighting for, but my affection and respect for parents is no less great. I can't choose between the two. So I chose to stay away from these two in the meantime. I need some time to reflect and consider things more deeply. I need some alone time.
...***...
And here I was stranded, on the 2nd floor of a country-style bar in South Jakarta numbers. After downing these throat-burning drinks, my consciousness began to wane a little. The sound of music that previously sounded loud, no longer felt deafening, even without realizing my head was swaying following the jolt.
The atmosphere of the bar is dimly lit, it starts to look crowded with visitors who mostly exhale cigarette smoke each. These eyes were inevitable and at first glance I saw not only myself with red eyes in this place and all seemed indifferent.. “Life individualism.” my cheer in the heart.
The bar can always be a place to escape those who are burdened, because it can vent heartache without disturbing privacy. It is fitting that this business is always booming and mushrooming in big cities.
“Please fill again!” my orders for the umpteenth time to the bartender who is busy serving the requests of other customers.
“Ka’Han?” a voice broke my daydream and pulled a little of my consciousness back to the real world.
...***...
...~ IAN ~...
After picking up Ute at his aunt's house earlier, we had dinner in the courtyard and because Ute had not yet wanted to go home, I turned this car into a bar run by my elderly Koko.
Seeing the very cramped conditions on the first floor, we decided to move to the 2nd floor. Heading to the bar table, a familiar person sat alone in the corner of the bar table. Without preventable I say hello to make sure: “Ka’Han?”
“Woohoo Ian, my man, what’s up bro?” ka’Han said with a reddened face (which can be ascertained not because of blushing embarrassment, but more into a drunk condition, if it smells from the smell of alcohol coming out of the mouth even from his body, I don't know how many liters of alcoholic beverages he consumed. (translation: Ian, my mainstay, how are you?)
“Hi Ka’Han, tumben neh? Alone, Brother?” ask again.
Aga was also surprised to see a senior with an image that is always guarded, in a condition half drunk because of alcohol, especially that it turns out he is alone, without friends who usually always accompany him.
Then I heard the sound of a bell Ute said slowly in my ear: “Rarid sight of Neh Ian, fortunately we did not go straight home yak! Need some photos of us?” Ute and I look amused and sit side by side, both understand that the medsos update in this place will only plunge themselves into the code of ethics.
“Wow, there is Ice Queen also apparently..well, you pantes nolak me Ute, if the other choice is as good as Ian.but pity my sister neh, will break her heart, just like this brother.. oh fate yes fate.” cerocos then Ka’Han when realizing the presence of Ute while returning concentration to his drink again.
Ute instantly turned towards Ka’Han and exclaimed “What the fu*k!” (translation: what the hell!)
Unable to resist staying silent, I turned towards Ute and asked: “So really yes you ever refused the love statement Ka’Han?” while enjoying a tinge of red on her cheeks that could somehow grow more beautiful in this dimness.
“Mongan people mabok mah do not be taken seriously!” ute replied as he flicked his finger calling for the Bartender to approach.
“It is precisely that from the literature that I have read, the words of drunk people are the most trustworthy, because it comes from the deepest conscience that may not be issued when conscious.. So when did it happen?” I'm not satisfied with teasing him anymore.
“None of your bussines! Udah ach do not discuss again if you do not want to be bitten!” answer Ute again still with a jutek tone and glances as sharp as razor. (translation: none of your business!)
“Wah the Ice Queen do bites.” I said again while raising both hands (as if giving up) in front of the chest and involuntarily chuckled amused. (translation: The Ice Queen turned out to bite)
“You guys again ngetawain my misery huh?” tanya Ka’Han suddenly. His condition increasingly looks not good from the bosom that has almost collapsed on the bar table.
“Negaklah Kak.” I replied spontaneously while helping to repair his large body to move to a nearby sofa that happened to have just been abandoned by visitors before, he said, so he doesn't fall off the bar stool high enough.
Ute who lifted our drink also moved to sit and the three of us now sat face to face around a small round table in the middle of the sofa we were sitting on.
The three of us just sat in silence while enjoying the life music offerings that sounded blaring from downstairs. Seen from the foyer where we sat, the band that was playing quite often appeared on several TV stations. Koko was quite good also set this bar, from the beginning we came to the more crowded the number of visitors there, maybe the more the night will be more crowded again.
“Ian, you must take good care of your women. If you are from a different ethnic or religious or economic background, never introduce him to your family, even if your family has been very kind to you. They will not fit and you will only be miserable if told to choose between your family or your woman.” booed Ka’Han again break our residence.
Ute stared at me with a questioning look, but my brain immediately worked and connected the events some time ago at the Equatorial Guesthouse. Then I asked slowly: “What parents Sister refused Ka’Dina?”
Ka’Han glanced at me, then he bowed, covering his face with both palms and a moment later his shoulders trembled like he was crying a mouthful. ‘Truly a rare sight..very inversely proportional to the first impression shown at the beginning of our encounter..’ my mind softly looked at Ute who just shrugged her shoulders not knowing what to do or say.
“Ute, this pain is now many times the pain caused by your rejection first.. Oh my God, why is this so sad?” ka’Han said again while fixedly looking at Ute. Then he turned his tear-soaked face towards me and said: “You lucky boy Ian, never stop fighting for your love.. even alcohol could not relieve his pain.” again Ka’Han covered his face with both palms and fell silent.
“Gue to the toilet first yes, it looks like Ka’Han again needs temen confide ituh.. Oh yes, I know Ka’Dina, he's a good person. later we discuss that Ka’Han already calm.” while standing, standing up, Ute whispered in my ear and when I nodded Ute stepped her foot toward the toilet with my gaze immediately distracted by the raucous voice of Ka’Han.
“Ian, why can't I feel happy a little longer? Why should I suffer? Am I as sad and thick as that? Even Ute can't bear to see me? Please tell me, how can you be like you? Which is not only admired by many women but can also get whatever you want?” ceracau Ka’Han Further.
“Who said I can get whatever I want Kak’? Just for your information, Ute is not my girlfriend sister, we are just close friends, she is my best friend. I'm sorry to have to say this to Big Brother, but can Big Brother stop constantly feeling sorry for himself? Maybe this is the first time for Brother, okay it is sad and painful, so cry and mourn, but then get back up. I know Ka’Dina, she's a good woman. I think he is also sad about parting ways with Ka’Han, so don't add to his sadness by staying in pitiful mode. Life must continue to be lived Brother, until finally the Khalik take back what has been entrusted to us.” I said loudly with a tone as slowly as possible, he said, so that Ka’Han can hear in the middle of the loud sound of the band and digest the meaning of my words.
...***...
Time just passed midnight. The atmosphere of the bar is still crowded before and the condition of Ka’Han is very alarming. We also took the initiative to bring him home.
When the barmaid took a wheelchair to use Ka’Han who seemed unconscious, Ute swiftly reached into Ka’Han's wallet in the back pocket of her jeans and indeed tucked a black card like a hotel key inside its fold. ‘Indeed smart girl..’ my inner.
We needed the help of a Vallet-parking officer to move the large figure of Ka’Han to the middle seat of my car, after all neat and wearing seat-belt respectively (Ute chose to sit in front, next to me), he said, I also run the car to the hotel where Ka’Han stay in Jakarta according to the GPS instructions I had previously entered.
During the trip, we did not talk much. Ute seemed to check his HP several times and type something. Maybe give word to his aunt that he'll be home late.
...***...
...~ UTE ~...
‘Tante, I'm sorry I can't go home tonight. Ute's fine and still with Ian. But we met a senior and had to accompany him tonight because his condition was not good. Good night and happy rest aunt.’ I wrote to Aunt Sandra, who is my mother's youngest sister, who still chooses to live single and tends to pamper me as her favorite niece.
This year-end holiday I did choose to spend it in Jakarta and not return to East Kalimantan. Besides because I was worried about boredom due to solitude at home, also because there was a request from Aunt Sandra. Mama and Papa also seem not to care much about my decision, as it might reduce their obligation to spend some of their precious time with their only child.
Along our way to the hotel where Ka’Han was staying, Ian and I didn't have much to talk about. Each of us seemed to be immersed in his own thoughts. Ian with his greenish-blue aura becoming increasingly dense in color, while the seated Ka’Han looked unconscious with his purple-covered orange aura.
The hotel lobby looks so relaxed after midnight tonight. I hurried to the lobby to take a wheelchair (which is usually available in large hotels) and without hesitation asked for the help of a bellboy (dark green aura) to move a large body Ka’Han to wheelchair.
My confident attitude, seems to be able to erode any suspicions that had been stamped in the mind of the receptionist (seen had decomposed dark orange aura followed by pink at a glance earlier) and the bellboy, which is, or maybe they have been said to often face customers who come home drunk in the middle of the night or maybe too tired to care enough about the problems of others.
I caught a glimpse of Ian picking up a vallet-parking sign slip and swiftly pushing Ka’Han's wheelchair towards the nearest elevator. I again used the room key from Ka’Han's wallet to direct the elevator movement to the intended floor.
‘Luckily Ka’Han slipped his room card with the cover wrapping, so that the name of the hotel and the room no we can know exactly in the writing on the cover of the room key. no 913..’ My inner waiting for the elevator that moves slowly up to the 9th floor.
The room we entered was very cold, which means Ka’Han did not remove the key to the other room from the electrical cantolan of his room. The TV is also still on, featuring a cooking program. With a jauntaku, we removed Ka’Han from the wheelchair and laid him down on one side of the only bed in this room.
“How is Ian now?” ask me while sitting, leaning on the head of the bed and involuntarily straightening the legs on the side of the bed. The king size bed of this hotel is quite large, with a white bed-cover that feels very soft and soft on my body.
“I will take you home in a moment, but wait a minute yes, I need to go to the toilet for a while.” replied Ian briefly after fiddling with AC and rushing to the bathroom.
I grabbed the TV remote control from the bedside nightstand and looked for a music channel, at first glance watching Ka’Han aura that began to darken its purple color, gradually towards the increasingly dark donker blue color, and then the, which means he started to feel calm in his dream world, and then I took a pillow, piled it on my back and involuntarily closed my eyes when the strains of Ed Sheeran's song Perfect sounded slowly as if it was smearing me:
...I found a love for me.....
...Darling just dive right in and follow my lead...
...(translation: I found love for me,...
...Honey, just dive in and follow my lead)...
...Well I found a girl beautiful and sweet...
...(.(.I found a woman, beautiful and sweet)...
...I never knew you were the someone...
...waiting for me...
...(.(.Oh, I never knew you were the one waiting for me)...
...‘Cause we were just kids when we fell in love...
...(.(.Because we were kids when we fell in love)...
...Not knowing what it was, though,...
...I will not give you up this time...
...But darling, just kiss me slow,...
...your heart is all I own...
...(.(.But baby, kiss me slowly, Your heart is all I have)...
...And in your eyes you’re holding mine...
...(.(.And in your eyes I am yours)...
...Baby, I’m dancing in the dark...
...with you between my arms...
...(.(.Honey, I dance in the dark...
...with you between my arms)...
...Barefoot on the grass,...
...Listening to our favorite song...
...(.(.Without footwear on the grass,...
...listen to our favorite songs)...
...When you said you looked a mess,...
...I whispered underneath my breath...
...(.(.When you said you were a mess, you,...
...I whispered softly)...
...But you heard it, darling, you look perfect tonnage...
...(.(.But you heard it, honey, you look perfect tonight)...
...Well I found a woman,...
...Armstrong than anyone I know...
...(.(.I found a woman, though,...
...Stronger than anyone I know)...
...She shares my dreams,...
...I hope that someday I’ll share her home...
...(.(.He shared a dream with me,...
...I hope one day I will share a house with him)...
...I found a love, to carry more than just my secrets...
...(.(.I found a love that kept more than just my secret)...
...To carry love, to carry children of our own...
...(.(.To take care of love, to take care of our own child)...
...We are still kids, but we’re so in love,...
...fighting against all odds...
...(.(.We are small but we love so much, fighting against all odds)...
...I know we’ll be alright this time...
...(.(.I know we'll be fine this time)...
...Darling, just hold my hand,...
...Be my girl, I’ be your man...
...(.(.Honey, just hold my hand, be my girl, and I'll be your man)...
...I see my future in your eyes...
...(.(.I see the future in your eyes)...
...Baby, I’m dancing in the dark,...
...with you between my arms...
...(.(.Honey, I dance in the dark,...
...with you between my arms)...
...Barefoot on the grass,...
...Listening to our favorite song...
...(.(.Without footwear on the grass,...
...listen to our favorite songs)...
...When I saw you in that dress, looking so beautiful...
...(.(.When I see you in that dress, the,...
...looks very pretty)...
...I don’t desire this, darling,...
...you look perfect tonnage...
...(.(.I don't deserve this, baby, you look perfect tonight)...
...Baby, I’m dancing in the dark,...
...with you between my arms...
...(.(.Honey, I dance in the dark,...
...with you between my arms)...
...Barefoot on the grass,...
...Listening to our favorite song...
...(.(.Without footwear on the grass,...
...listen to our favorite songs)...
...I have faith in what I see.....
...Now I know I have met an angel in person...
...(.(.I'm sure of what I saw...
...Now I know I met a wingless angel)...
...She looks perfect.. I don’t desire this.....
...You look perfect tonnage...
...(.(.And she looks perfect, I don't think she deserves it, you look perfect tonight.)...
...***...