Mother (Lost Love)
PROLOGUES

"Oeek..."

"Oeek..."

"Oeek..."

The sound of crying of a tiny baby girl who has just been born into the world, breaking the silence of the night of a room at the Maternity Hospital Dear Mother, right at 00.30 WIB.

"Congratulations, madam Shanum your baby is born normal, weighs 3.5 kg and is 50 cm long, the gender is female" explained a nurse who helped clean the newborn baby red.

Shanum took a heavy breath, a drop of tears falling down his cheek. He covered his ears with both hands. Lying on your back to a red baby who hasn't stopped crying.

"SUP....!" shanum Pilu's scream.

"Madam, you must immediately initiate Early Breastfeeding Initiation, so that your baby is used to it" said the nurse softly.

"I DON'T WANT TO BREASTFEED HER, SISTER ! PLEASE, KEEP HIM AWAY FROM ME !" shanum screams hysterically. The tiny baby continued to cry, even growing louder.

"It looks like your baby is thirsty, madam. He should be given ASI soon !" press the nurse again.

"I TOLD YOU, I DON'T WANT SISTER, JUST GIVE HER FORMULA, KEEP HER AWAY FROM ME SISTER, PLEASE !" lamenting Shanum selfish.

Angrily, the nurse came out from where Shanum was being treated, without saying a word. The nurse named Laura, took the tiny baby to the room of Doctor Hana, the obstetrician who helped birth Shanum's daughter.

"Doctor Hana, Mrs Shanum won't breastfeed her baby" Laura argued while trying to calm the tiny baby down by feeding him formula with a bottle of milk.

"It looks like she's having Postpartum depression" Hana said.

"What is that, doc? Is it the same as baby blues syndrome ? ask Laura.

"Yes, the difference Postpartum depression is more severe than the baby blues, if not handled properly. Shanum is in a bad mood, because his household is already on the verge of collapse, he is mentally depressed" explained doctor Hana.

"Pity madam Shanum yes, doc!" sela Laura's.

"Yes, so for now, please take care of the baby first, Laura! I'll talk to Shanum for a moment" Doctor Hana got up from her seat and walked out of her study, towards Shanum's treatment room.

Baby blues syndrome is a mood disorder in a woman who has just given birth, fear, anxiety due to hormonal changes in a woman who has just given birth. The disturbance may last 2 to 3 weeks. While Postpartum depression is a mood disorder after childbirth, which is caused by anxiety, fear and pressure feelings, and lasts for a long time. It can be dangerous for the mother as well as the baby, if not handled properly (source. Google.Alo Doctor).

Slowly doctor Hana opened the door of the room where Shanum was treated. The beautiful 30-year-old woman, apparently lying weak in a small hospital bed. His eyes looked puffy, as they too often let out tears of sadness.

"Shanon...! feel better, baby ?" ask doctor Hana softly.

Shanum turned to Hana's doctor, and shook his head weakly. His eyes returned to tears.

"I'm not okay, doc ! I'm messed up, hurt and stressed, that's what makes me feel weak" Shanum said.

"Your baby is beautiful, her eyes are beautiful like yours, you don't want to see her !"persuade doctor Hana.

"I don't want to, doctor," Shanum refused in a soft tone.

Shanum raised his face withstanding the tears that were about to spill.

"So she's still your daughter anyway! you have to give her a decent life, your daughter needs your love and affection" said Dr. Hana.

"Doctor, how can I give her happiness, while I myself am unhappy, my husband does not want a daughter. He'll divorce me, if I can't give him a boy." wailed Shanum.

Shanum's chest was tight, his shoulders were shaking violently, as tears could no longer be contained. That cry was so heartbreaking. Doctor Hana hugged him tightly.

The 50-year-old woman understood what had happened to Shanum. Doctor Hana is the only place Shanum tells of grief, every time a visit checks her pregnancy.

Doctor Hana felt sorry to see Shanum. The poor woman, always came to the hospital alone, to check her pregnancy and also to give birth to her baby. No husband was accompanying, not even one of her husband's family came to visit, to just see the baby.

"Then, what are you going to do now?" ask Dr. Hana.

"I don't know, doctor! I hope you'll find an adoptive parent for the baby" Shanum's selfish plea.

"Don't think about throwing away your baby, Shanum! He's innocent, you're just victims of the selfishness of your husband's family" Hana's doctor advised.

"Maybe he'll be happier, if he's in an environment that loves him, doc ! While I don't know, where will his father divorce me after, " Shanum lamented

"All right...! if that's your wish, I'll find a foster parent for your daughter !" doctor Hana said in the end, after being unable to melt Shanum's heart.

"I'm sorry, Doctor Hana, it's not that I'm incapable of caring for the baby. But, my husband doesn't want it, I'm going to get a divorce with my husband" Shanum wiped the tears that soaked his cheeks.

"Did your husband admit that he married again ?" ask Dr. Hana, frowning her forehead.

Shanum. He stared pus out the window, his face looked sad, when he saw several married couples, who looked happy waiting for the birth of their baby.

"He's not talking to me, doctor! it's just that he doesn't come home often, his mom says, Devan's out of town on a job."

doctor Hana took a deep breath.

"Rest Shanum...! I'll take care of the adoption papers for your son, but I still hope you'll change your mind" Dr. Hana said before exiting Shanum's treatment room.

Shanum splashed his body on the bed. His body still felt weak and helpless. Her determination was unanimous, to leave her baby in the hospital.

"I'm sorry, Mother, son! Mother just doesn't want you to suffer being in that house. Mommy is sure, you will be happier with parents who will adopt you. Forgive Mother, Mother loves you!" Isak Shanum

Shanum had three daughters before. Her first daughter was Jasmine Agya Mahendra, then Sheira and Sheina. However, the mother-in-law of Lady Sonia Mahendra, did not allow Shanum to take care of her daughter on the grounds that Shanum was only a village woman who knew nothing, and had no higher education, and did not have a high education, because Shanum is just a First High School graduate in his village.

Shanum tried to close his eyes for a moment, to relieve the pain, disappointment and anger. One by one, Shanum remembered his daughters, his daughters,

"Jasmine....! forgive Mother dear, even though Mother does not take care of you, but Mother loves you. Forgive Mommy....! because Mother has separated you from your brother, "inner Shanum.

"Shera...! Shena....! Your misses...! Mother wants to invite you to go with Mother, but Mother is afraid, you will live hard if with Mother. Mother loves you all, boy!" shanum's lips trembled violently. Until finally, the poor woman fell asleep in her sleep, after a very tiring day.