My Own Korean Drama
Chapter 14 - The Coldest Winter
Winter is always cold
But this winter
Stabbing to the bone.
The sun was still overhead when I arrived at London Heathrow Airport. I think it's the sunniest weather I've ever had in London. Winter has never been so bright. Even though it looked bright, the air was not friendly at all. I put my coat back together while pulling my suitcase out the main door. The cold did not last long. The media immediately surrounded me. I went back inside the airport building avoiding the media crowd. Before long the big bodies split the sea of humans earlier. They must be the ones Daddy sent. These people can indeed block the air to make me shiver but somehow one last hand outstretched at Incheon Airport fifteen hours ago was warmer than this many bodyguards.
The journey home takes a long time. The streets of London were no longer the same when I left the country six years ago. The streets became bigger and snowier. Snow covered almost the entire street. There were some kids playing in front of their house. At first glance I saw a crowd of boys making snow dolls. Different from the previous one, the group of children out there built two facing fortresses then started throwing snowballs. Seeing the children's last laugh threw me into the memory of my first winter in Seoul.
MY OWN KOREAN DRAMA
January 2012
The sun has appeared from the east. I was with the other trainees on foot to the PE building. After the winter break from the company runs out, all PE trainees return to dorm. The activities at PE began to run as usual but the school has not reopened. Usually trainees who are still in school will come after school so that those who leave in the morning are only a few people but this time the entire contents of the dorm walk together splitting the winter cold. In just three months, regardless of how many trainees have been in and out of PE, I can't even remember their names. Most of them are men. Thankfully, the five people survived. PE rarely accepts female trainees, or if they accept female trainees, most of them are put in the line of background dancers, and their dorm is different from the trainees who enter the debut line. It turned out that I was lucky enough to get straight into the debut line when if I observed my movements as well as my voice, they were much better.
I walked second from behind next to Hyun Sik. Dae Ho, and Eun Hyuk walk side by side behind me while Min-wook and Wook Ok are in the front row. I don't know what he was thinking, Wook Ok ran ahead of the other trainees and then took the snow to form it round and round. The snow then lands on Park Min-wook's upper arm. Unable to accept himself being pelted with snow, the eldest hyung took the snow carelessly then threw it at the mischievous maknae of one. Seeing the snow battle ahead, the entire trainee who walked towards the PE studio laughed as if given a free spectacle. I laughed at the behavior of the two men. The cold snowy morning of the year was not too piercing to see such a warm spectacle. I didn't know that winter can still be warm when two people are fighting in the snow.
End of February 2012
Trainees are starting to fall again. Now there are five more people left like when I first came here. I don't know what it's like to go through a monthly evaluation with that many competitors because I myself just went through that evaluation as a formality. I looked back at the five men who were leaning against the wall of the restaurant waiting for their food to come.
“I heard we will have one more new member coming,” Hyun Sik said opening the conversation.
“Only one person?” Tanya Wook Ok.
“This time the new trainee will go to the background dancer dorm, the dorm for the debut line will actually contain the mentioned trainee,” Hyun Sik explained.
“I heard he's from Daegu,” Eun Hyuk added.
“She's one area with you!” Min-wook exclaimed as he patted the shoulder of Dae Ho sitting next to him.
“What group will we be a rap group?” Ask Wook Ok again.
“Why is that?” I was surprised because not all of them came to PE with rapping talent.
“I, Dae Ho Hyung, and Hyun Sik were once undercover rap groups,” Eun Hyuk explained.
“Do you guys still do it?” Ask again.
“No.” This time Hyun Sik answered.
“I don't think it's a rap group because it has this many members, just imagine we can make a novel with one album.” Min-wook starts off with a joke that's not really funny. A moment the table becomes silent again due to Min-wook's joke.
“Yes, Hyung! Stop that not funny joke!” Wook Ok.
MY OWN KOREAN DRAMA
This was my first winter in Seattle. I have never felt the cold of South Korea's winter air because there are seven men who can warm the cold with their quarrels, jokes, even smiles. Not until the day I left South Korea, I already missed him back.
The building I call home is still the same as the last time I left. Jacob, my older brother is standing in the doorway. The man at the end of the three heads pulled me into his arms. I forgot the last time I saw him. Jacob grabbed me by the shoulder and took me to the dining room. Daddy opened his arms for a welcome hug back. After giving a warm hug, I sat down in my chair. The seat next to me was filled by Mommy. I miss him so much. He died of cancer when I was four years old.
“How’s South Korea?” Jacob asked with a glass of wine in one of his hands. I approached him who was standing in front of a large glass in the living room of course with an expensive glass in my hand.
“I’ve already miss them,” my words express the contents of the heart.
“Them? I think I should see him,” reply Jacob again with protective. She will always be a protective sister to me.
“Actually, we broke up, there’s something I should have done with my past,”. I'm not used to being honest about stories.
“If that thing - what you called past-is done, will he get back with you?” Ask Jacob. I just realized that now. Is Min-wook going to come back to accept me. I stayed for quite a while while throwing a blank stare out there.
“You’re a great woman, don’t be sad ‘cause one of the men on this earth. There’s a lot of mens on your waiting list.” Jacob tried to bring back my joy.
“Hey, kids! I’m at my room if you need me,” said Daddy before finally disappearing up the stairs.
“Is it Auriga?” Ask Jacob bluntly. I bowed then breathed a rough breath.
“****! Leave him!” Jacob doesn't like it.
“I broke up with Min-wook for getting back with that ***,” circus.
“You know where to find me if you need something right?” Jacob then disappeared upstairs.
I finished my glass before finally climbing the stairs to get into my room. This room is still the same. When opening the door for the first time, the ash sofa will warmly welcome. If facing left, then found the mattress. This place should have been more than comfortable but somehow there was no comfort I found like in Seoul. Speaking of Seoul, I remembered the paper bag Su Ryeon Unnie gave me at the airport.
I sat on the ash sofa while slowly opening the paper bag Su Ryeon Unniei gave me. I chuckled as I began to take out the contents one by one. Some of Gu Boy's old photo cards were the first to come out. My hands are back looking for what's still there. Some papers that turned out to be a recipe for making eomuk tang. The closing item is an empty journal book with a letter inserted between sheets of paper.
Write your story here, take it with you when you return to Seoul.
I smiled at the items that would always remind me of Seoul. I took back the seven photo cards that were on the sofa. My hand stops at Min-wook's photo. He hasn't changed at all since six years ago. Even I couldn't find the difference in gaze in the photo with our last look at the airport. I miss Min-wook.
The sun is no longer out there. The window that had allowed the sunlight to enter, turned dark. Now I'm sitting at the desk next to the couch. I'm reopening an old macbook that never got out of this house. Thankfully, this device is still on. I skate on the search page. I don't know why my finger typed some key words about Trine, and Gu Boy. My fingers stopped at Gu Boy's win today. At the end of the year, Gu Boy again received an award. This time not just an award, Gu Boy got a daesang. I stared at the screen in front of me long enough that I realized that my decision yesterday would be regretted for the rest of my life. Water flows through the corner of my eye.
MY OWN KOREAN DRAMA
I looked at myself in the glass. The reflection of the girl there did not radiate warmth. The black satin dress that displayed her body shape exuded an aura of sadness following the look of the girl. I looked down and walked out of the room. Like most years, Daddy had a party that invited some of his co-workers. I slowly climbed down the stairs. The party room was quite crowded with several invited guests who were already present. I walked over slowly greeting Daddy's guests who of course I didn't know his name. My steps came to a halt when I saw Auriga from a distance. Our gazes met a split second. Auriga started to step towards me but I immediately turned around then walked away. When I almost touched the stairs, my hand was pulled. Auriga's gaze became my first sight as I turned around.
“Hey, Sis!” Jacob surprised me quite. Thank goodness! Jacob came at the right time.
“We need to talk,” pinta Auriga is still holding my hand.
“I need my sister now, can you let her go?” Jacob spoke again to try to save me. Feeling defeated, Auriga took my hand off letting myself climb the stairs with Jacob.
“Thank you,” I said to Jacob as I arrived inside the room.
“Are you okay?” Jacob asked worriedly.
“Did Daddy invite him?” I don't like it.
“Daddy invite Dilaeni, she normally attend the party alone,” Jacob replied with a guilty look. My room then became quiet.
“Can I ask you something?” Jacob broke the silence again. I looked up at him, assuring him.
“Why are you falling for him?” Jacob asked that made me sniff amusedly.
“I was young and dumb, that’s all,” replied me circus.
“Do you still love him?” Ask Jacob again.
“Are you kidding me?” Answer me with questions.
“No, I mean the boy from Korea,” explained Jacob
“Min-wook?” Ask wonder. I didn't know Jacob was gonna bring Min-wook along.
“You still love him,” says Jacob. It was not a question but a statement, and it struck me deeply. I broke up when I still loved her.
“How about you? Why are you inviting your ex wife to this party?” Means back. Just to clarify my question, Jacob was married but decided to split up last winter. The reason alone I don't know, I don't think that's the thing to talk about either.
“Last December was the coldest winter ever. I didn’t want to feel the same wind,” Jacob replied sadly.
“You still love her,”. I don't think the Mckenzies are very good at romance.
MY OWN KOREAN DRAMA
I put a coat on my shoulder before heading out to the back garden. The air blowing away from the word warm. Garden lights are not all lit. Some of the small roads are barely visible. From far away I saw a burly man walking towards me. He must be Auriga.
“What do you want to talk to me about?” I asked without further ado.
“When will you catch up with me?” Ask not to lose.
“I told you after the turn of the year,” I replied in a high tone.
“I'll be back on the third date, come with me,” take Auriga urgently. I actually didn't plan on catching up with him at all. I plan on stalling for as long as possible while I devise a plan to escape from it.
“Why are you so urgent?” I don't like it.
“You know my life is soon.” There was a bit of a sense of tightness when I heard it just that the way he asked me back was very unpleasant in the heart.
“My relationship was also not long because of you! Now you're forcing me to come back to accept you after five years I let someone wait without clarity?!” Shake me with the tone getting higher. For a moment Auriga was glued to her place with a pitiful look.
“I... I just want to spend my last days with my loved ones but in fact he cares about other men,” said Auriga sarcas. The anger is burning inside me.
“Then where were you when I spent my days losing direction, walking a path I never thought of, pioneering a career, when I was tired, when I started giving up, where were you?” I asked in a low but sarcastic tone. Auriga's sobbing voice began to break the cold of the night.
“Can't you go back to how you were when you chose me?” Ask Auriga again in a stinging voice.
“I told you to let memories remain memories,” press me.
“If you don't want to be that memory, can we make another memory?”
“You want me to perform for the end of your life?” Tanyaku. After all this man in front of me was once the reason I wanted to meet again soon. He was once the reason I wanted to recover from a gunshot wound six years ago. I would never really let it go like this.
“If it is needed then do it.” And Auriga said with a blank look that seemed to be a complement to the coldest winter that had happened in my life. Following the eruption of sparks in the sky seemed to seal the unwritten covenant between us. This is the coldest winter that may be followed by the lonely spring, the driest summer to the saddest autumn. I hope Min-wook can wait patiently for me like six years ago.