Not Ustadz I (Unrevised)
12. Emptiness I

..."No matter what the parent's attitude towards his child, no child does not cry on the day of his death." @doctorhoki_...

The sun had already started to appear, its light piercing through the white curtains in the warm room. Amanda who was still asleep was slowly aware that if the day had started, she would usually set an alarm but today is a national holiday.

"Hmmm!" Fine groans shot out from his mouth, his closed eyes began to open.

Amanda enjoys the warm glow of her favorite sun, who doesn't love the warmth? Especially for people who have a dream to live in a tropical country.

"Today's off, I want to be home." Amanda was half asleep.

In the midst of his tangled mind typical wake up, he suddenly thought of his duties in that day.

"OH YEAH, I GOTTA GO!" Shouted Amanda, her eyes widened.

After that he woke up and drank water from the glass he put on the table, then he folded the blanket, opened the curtains, swept the floor, wiped the table, and various other routine activities. Half an hour later, the room was clear of dust.

"Huft, it's time to take a shower." Amanda smiled with satisfaction.

He stepped into the bathroom by the door of his room, before which he did not forget to greet the hostess.

"Good morning Liana.." Greet Amanda after seeing Liana who is preparing provisions for her.

"Good morning Amanda~ are you going to the park today?" Liana asked looking happy to see the excited Amanda.

"Yes, I'm going to the park today. Shouldn't bother preparing supplies for me Liana.." Amanda said no good to Liana.

"It's okay, it's over there shower. Don't waste the warm water I put in there." Liana said while wrapping the lunch box.

"Ohh, thank you Liana.." Reply Amanda is happy.

Liana just nodded while showing off her smile, she saw Amanda getting into the bathroom. After that I don't know what made him fade a little smile, he looked like a depressed person.

"Miss. huh.." He mumbled a little laugh.

__________

My name is Nikle Amanda, today is a national holiday held after the final exam of the semester. I'm going to take my friend to play today, his name is Steven. I don't know since when we were together as if we were infinitely familiar like this.

Actually I still feel curious about the life I am living right now, I am confused by the same conditions as the novel but the storyline is not the same. As if I was moved not to change fate but to be myself, in the midst of confusion there was always a solution I never wrote about.

As I had thought for years even at the age of five, I marked if this family was cool and exactly like a novel but the storyline was not exactly the same. Even those of me who usually like to read books like 'entering into novels' or some kind of reincarnation world don't fully believe in this kind of situation.

It is still a question for me as to why I entered this world. I always think about it in the middle of my activities. For example, when reading or studying.

"Oi! Amanda!"

"E-hhh yes Steven!" I was surprised to find Steven calling me.

"Why bengong anyway? From now on you didn't even draw anything, what will you give the teacher later?" Steven asked astonished at my attitude.

"D-yes." My reply began to focus on my still-empty picture book.

"Hallo, brother."

".. Come back.."

"E-ehh what does that mean, brother?"

".. Dad.."

*Highing his forehead*

"Sister! Why dad?!"

"Dad died we've hiks... Sorry.."

*Harp phone*

"Eh? What's?.."

My eyes widened as if in disbelief, as soon as his tears fell down my cheeks.

"Why?"

I felt my head spinning so hard that it stirred up the feeling in my heart, there was this curiosity of sadness. Why can I who come from the outside feel sad as if that person is so precious?

"Hiks.. hik, why..? D-dad hix, dad. I only have a father. hyks"

Unconsciously my mouth spoke those words, my mind drifting thinking of his death. As if my heart was so sincere in loving him, my hands were clenched tightly, my teeth were biting firmly my lips trying to hold something inside of me.

To the pain of my lips and hands was also painfully left out of my heart, I don't know what makes me feel this deep sadness. I don't know maybe because I've been in this child's soul for too long, I never imagined I'd have a good father like him. Though I always held a grudge against my father who left his two children and one wife alone, even so I kept him until the day of my death?

"Breng*! The gakgun cave! No one can guard the cave! The cave of the destroyer man! Xw*! The cave of people was unlucky even before I was born! Hix... I'm. I'm useless.." I screamed while pounding my chest that hurt.

I sobbed without making a sound, under a shady tree with a thousand silences. I'm grateful that I'm under him now with no one, I'm grateful that today I decided to take a drawing class in the middle of the forest. My mind still feels sore, my brain feels a thousand confusions. Just know that I'm not okay, and what I do when I feel stressed is pray while crying.

"Huf! The huft! Hicks!"

My mind continued to fight, the tightness all over my body coupled with the burning heat. The screams of the heart were very painful.

"Amanda.. Amanda's.." I heard a soft voice call from a man with a worried expression.

He came up to me and said, "Pacify yourself, I'm here." He kept saying it. He still appreciates me by keeping his distance without hugging me even though his eyes like to hug me, I don't know I just want to cry.

Unknowingly my vision began to blur, my head felt heavy with a body that almost fell. And in the end I fell in his arms, he vaguely acted and lifted me up with the look of a frightened face I had just seen for the first time.

He yelled at himself as if cursing himself, his hands shaking violently but he was still trying to control the car deposit. His eyes trembled as he once glanced at me, he also hit his head several times.

I saw her lift me to the front door of the main hospital and yell at the people, even the sisters were confused by her. It felt new to see him surprised, as if he cared so much about my circumstances. When in fact he could have let myself die swallowed up in the middle of the forest, why did he not let me rot forever in that place? Who would care if I died anyway? Is there anyone who cares about the day of my death even in my previous life? I don't understand why, but I can't bear this heart cry. The screams are too strong.

Seriate