Not Ustadz I (Unrevised)
13² Hidden Feelings

The streets are crowded with people when the time has shown at night, his warm hands holding me as if not wanting to lose me. I think this guy should know if I'm a stranger, why he's being gentle with me who doesn't even want him to be like this. His sharp eyes softened every time he looked at me, without me noticing behind it he kept so many nails.

And if I count my age with him I will be older than him, counted from my life. But I still felt small when I was beside her, even her sincere touch made me feel warmth. My heart finally resigned and said if he was all I had, my only family member.

"Misako, what are you thinking? Why daydream, at least focus." Said Liam tightening his hand.

"Yes, brother."  I bow my head.

Sometimes I feel like he's hiding a lot from me from his sadness to his pleasure, he's always focused on protecting, working, and using his body like a robot. Seeing a gaze that only sees me makes my heart ache, sometimes I expect happiness for her as well. Behind my harsh clasps and sharp talk there was hope that he would get fed up and leave even if I wasn't willing to, I just wanted him to enjoy his own life.

I took a deep breath in the middle of our journey. 'I would be a fool to think of something like this...'

"What are you thinking? Don't be too burdened, you'll be crazy." Liam looked at my soft eyes.

"I've only thought about so many things that it's going to explode." Hearing my answer, Liam tightened his grip and raised it in front of his chest.

"You're my brother now anyway, so just do what you want to do and then get your complaints out to me. I'll try my best for you."

His sincere words made my feelings more mixed, I feel Liam lately a lot of thoughts but still cover it from me.

"So why do you look tired? Is your job very hard?" I asked, actually I have long wanted to ask but I also understand Liam does not like to complain in front of others especially in front of Uncle Jeon.

"I'm fine... It's just because of work... No papa..." He keeps his face looking happy even though it still looks sad.

"Pathetic..." Mumamku.

Liam who heard it laughed. "What hehe... I'm doing fine... Brother who dong who never slumped this..."

I stopped walking, of course it was a little bit of a jerk. I looked into his eyes with a serious yet gentle look. "Sister's lie is sad, I'm lazy to talk to brother. Whenever you feel devastated or have nightmares. Tell me, tell me everything's not okay and let me help even if it's a little. Because this person who is now in front of me is my brother and I am your grown sister." I then left him frozen in his place.

I walked without looking back, I thought he was still kneeling me even though he was not close to me. I stopped at a convenience store to buy some food, the guilt had actually gnawed at my heart but seeing my brother who had always hidden everything was upsetting me. I think it'll be fine even though it'll be a little while.

My favorite chicken breast sausage and her favorite meat sausage have been bought, I continued my steps towards the vegetable store and bought some vegetables. Liam saw me at a glance but when I turned around he would take his eyes off, I who felt a little irritated finally ignored him.

'What the fuck? Trying to avoid me even though I can't?' Inner irritated.

"Let's go home..." Take me and leave him.

He still follows me like a personal guard, that awkward atmosphere pisses me off. I finally turned around and said what I felt.

"Why are you following me? Why are you keeping quiet? Is it comfortable like this? Brother doesn't seem to like me anymore, does he? Brother why?" My voice raised a little when the annoyance had surprised him.

His eyes looked at my confused face, his mouth heavy as if holding something back. "I-I'm sorry Misako.."

"I'm sorry for what?"

"Sister still doubts me... Well I forgive you brother, but allow me to be alone. For tonight let's go home, but not for tomorrow." Tegasku abandoned.

I don't know what's in my heart, but I feel like there's still something stuck. Even though I had said cruel things to Liam, he still followed me from behind. I felt guilty for being too rude to her.

"... Sorry..." Suddenly said.

"I am too meddling in your affairs, however I always want to be open even though there are times when I am being rude like a child. Now it's up to you, I'm a nobody so do what you want and let me go if it feels sick. Anyway, I'm sorry for making you depressed when I had nothing to do." I said with a big smile.

"Let's have dinner with my friends too, I'll make you a favorite food of uang~"

I reached for his hand, my heart said to be ready to accept rejection but instead of refusing he clasped my hand tightly. He smiled despite not saying anything, I as much as possible ignored the fact that he was having problems.

'Let it be, if you don't want to talk, it's your own decision as the one who plays my brother.' My mind is a little grimacing.

I told Liam to come welcome Ryu and Hikari, I'm sure for the first time after Liam's long meal. Actually I got a lot of advice from Liam's secretary to make him eat well, because Liam as fixated on work and looks lonely. I felt sick when I heard she had never been to a family activity held in her office, never partied, or went on a blind date to make friends. Though he used to tell me and ask me about it, I didn't think he was lonely in his office.

When I asked why Liam was like that, his secretary was silent and did not answer anything as if she knew the reason but could not say it. This time I was happy to see her eating with us, even playing with Hikari and laughing a little with little jokes from Ryu.

"It's my brother's favorite mushroom soup."

"Thank you, this must be good because Misako made it." Liam's words were delighted Hikari.

"True, for the rest of my life I never liked mushrooms but if Misako's feet cook it tastes really good. My heart can't afford to hate it, it's so annoying." Babe Hikari while eating my soup.

"I'm also not a mushroom lover, but this food became my favorite because of Misako." Typal Ryu pleased.

"... Yes, his cooking makes nostalgia mother's cooking... I'm glad to enjoy this..." Liam laughed a little.

"Have eaten, I will prepare the garlic bread Hikari's favorite first."

"I'm going to go straight to work tomorrow, so I hope today we can be together until morning."

I gasped as Liam said it. "Yes whatever, tomorrow is the weekend so I have plenty of time tonight.You guys want to come with Ryu, Hikari?"

"Yes, if I may."

"I'm coming with sister~"

"Of course, we could spend the night together.." Liam is happy.

Seriate...