Papa To Oleander
12. In the Matter of Time

Ola

"Raisa why, honey? Is she okay?" Mama's voice pierced through my mind wrapped in a fog of vision.

I looked over and found the curious looks of the two people.

Mama and ... Goslings.

Goslings.

Inside the dark brown pool, she was dancing around wanting to know what had happened to Raisa and other flavors. I tried to dive into her eyes deeper. All I found were the feelings intended for me.

Then what about the taste? Is he ... alright? After she heard everything that Raisa said, was she alright?

Later. I'll ask him later.

"Ola?"

My mother's voice changed the center of my attention. "Oh? That's. Hm. .. don't know, Ma. I hope he's all right."

"Why is he, anyway?"

I exhaled a long breath. It's gonna be a hard story. Especially with my situation already like this. "She ... she was stressed yesterday because .. because she was not pregnant yet."

"Oh, dear God," said Mama as she placed her hands on her chest. The look on his face that was originally filled with curiosity now changed pity. "And she just found out that you're pregnant now."

"He-uh." Shame makes me bow my head. I can't get words out other than that. Because talking more will only open up a can full of worms and I am not ready to face those worms.

"Mama is sure everything will be fine" Mama said after a few moments passed in silence. Scrubbed my back in a gentle twisting motion. "You also don't follow the stress of thinking, huh? Raisa would have understood. Give him time to digest all this."

I'm nodding.

Timing.

Yeah, time.

Like that old-fashioned phrase, right? Only time will tell everything.

We can just.

****

Goslings

Olavia was discharged from the hospital this morning and a big thank you to Oliver, who, despite my insistence, had to be forced, already told me that from now on Olavia will be staying at their parents' house for a while. I agree because there will be Om Arif and Aunt Yuni who will accompany and supervise him for twenty-four hours. There will be a housekeeper who will help with other work. So my lady doesn't have to lift a finger if she needs anything.

Okay, then. Then my decision is final. Without thinking at length again I immediately contacted my assistant.

"Hello. Jumi Bi?"

"Hello. Yes, Den Angga. Can I help you?" replied the middle-aged woman across the phone.

I just gave instructions. "Bi, please prepare my room, yes. Also please stock the food in the kitchen. I will send you a list of what to buy. I think I'll stay there for a while."

"Good, Den. Aunt and Mamang prepare."

"OKAY. Thanks a lot, yeah, Bi."

"Together, Den."

Connection interrupted.

Well .... Guess who will return from Jakarta-Bogor from now on?

Yep! Bingo.

****

Ola

Raisa hasn't replied to the chat I sent you since two days ago. I also tried to call Mas Johan to ask about my friend's news. The answer that Mas Johan gave was more or less the same as what Mama said.

Give him time.

I .... On the one hand, I understand how he feels. On one hand I knew I had to give it time to calm my mind. On one hand, I know. But there is always another side. And that side wants his best friend to be in moments like now.

The war inside me is inevitable.

The turmoil in my mind seems to have succeeded in inviting another guest. Suddenly a wave carrying nausea hit the esophagus.

Oh, my God. No.

I rushed to the bathroom. Attacks continued to arrive until finally breakfast bar, biscuits, berries, and milk and rice that I consumed from morning out again from this stomach.

God fucking.

"Ola?" I knew my mother was near me. "Udah, Son?"

I pressed the flush button on the toilet before nodding weakly.

"OKAY. Come on, wash your face first."

Mama then helped me up and walked a few steps towards the sink. There, I leaned the body against the wall so that Mama would not be too hard to hold me. I cleaned my mouth with mouthwash, washed my face with cold water.

As I looked in the mirror, I began to find traces of myself. Not like someone who was there three weeks ago.

"No word from Raisa yet?" mama asked as I lowered my body into the bed.

I'm shaking.

He put his little body beside me in silence.

We sat in silence.

My mother finally cleared her throat. "Sweetie."

I know what that tone means. I know exactly what follows him.

The woman I inherited that wavy hair grabbed my hand. "You know, right, if you could tell me anything about Mama? Same with your Papa?"

A question I don't need to answer for two reasons; first, I know what the answer is and Mama knows that I already know; and, Mama doesn't really need an answer because Mama already knows that I know the answer. Even so, I still nodded.

"So, whenever you're ready, you can meet us. Yea?"

I nodded again.

He sighs. "If you can be honest, Mama is very curious to know what really happened to you. Especially Papa. But, we strive to keep appreciating and trusting you as an adult. That's why we don't ask too many questions.

"Never think that we will be angry because of the mistakes and problems you think you have created. That's the wrong thought, honey. We have done our best to teach you and your brother what needs to be taught. Well, now, it's time for you to learn on your own. Our parents just stayed a place for you to go home. The place where you complain, complain.

"Father and Mama will not judge you or your brother for the decisions you make consciously. Because that's where the maturation was born. Consider your choices, make your best decisions, and accept the consequences."

In Kalakian, Mama stuck out a hand that was not holding my hand towards my stomach. Put the warm palm up there for a while before stroking from behind the dress I was wearing. "But, can you ask me one thing? Just one. Please, dear."

I certainly can not deny the request of the man who has saved his life for me. "What, Ma?"

For the first time, since starting this conversation, Mama seemed hesitant. "You ... you .. you don't .. this baby isn't ... there isn't .. because ... because ... because of compulsion, k-right?"

Connect ....