Papa To Oleander
28. Memories of Bitter-Sweet Flavors

Ola

Never could I have imagined that banana and date milkshakes would taste so good. Seriously. I swear by what. It tastes really delicious. Delights. Fitting on the tongue.

Or, at least that's what my tongue and stomach are thinking right now.

"Where is it finished? Good no?" Angga who was sitting on the sofa opposite me asked.

I nodded as I placed the glass on the coffee table between us. "He-uh. Huh, nih. It's delicious." I reached back for the glass and inhaled the contents until the sounds of straws were heard.

He chuckles. "I can tell" he said with a smile that did not fade. "Where is this abbis going? Going back to the office again or what?"

Hearing the word office alone felt my tired body became more and more lousy. "No, ah, I guess. I'm so tired. Back to the apartment, Ngga. I'm gonna take a break."

"okay." The man nodded deeply, looking very fond of this idea. "If so I want to have a chat with Dimas can, yes?"

"Don't use it, I'm too tired." I sneered. "Yes, I can. Take your time. I also most want to call Ms. Renata to say that I'm not going back and keep throwing it away. It's okay, isn't it, if I sleep here?"

"It's okay, really. You want to do it too, I will not be banned," he said lightly in kalakian.

"Yeee, I'm the one who wants to do anything."

He laughed at my protest. "Yes, I'm ahead of me, yeah."

I saw him walking around the table to get closer to me. As his body began to bend, I raised my hand to stop his movements. "Eitz! What do you want?" todongku while looking into his eyes.

The confused expression looks funny when juxtaposed with a stocky and domineering body. What should be on his handsome face is only a confident and confident look. Not what exists now. "I ... I .. I want .... I want this." Finally he could finish his sentence by doing what he meant.

Smacking my forehead.

Well ....

Hmph, hmph ....

"Relga." I exhaled a long breath. "You can't keep treating me this way. This is, after all, too sweet of an attitude for two people who are just friends. I ... I, right, told you that I don't want to feel burdened. And that ... What you just did made me think, No. Please, you want to understand how I feel, right?"

In a look, I could see the expressions that flashed across the man's face. Confusion turned into a sense of understanding mixed with something that stuck my heart.

Was that the sadness that seemed there just now?

Then, why am I being sad too?

He quickly expelled what was in his heart by commenting on the smile on his lips. "OKAY. I'm sorry, yeah." Angga then also let out a long sigh. "Damn. There are so many mistakes I have with you" he commented, jokingly.

However, I know that sentence is not entirely a joke. Knowing Angga, I'm sure he was torturing himself with that feeling excessively.

"No, no, no. It's okay. It's nothing, really, Ngga. Don't beat yourself up. I just want to tell you the boundaries. Before .... before .. yes, before making any decisions later on" I replied. I shrugged my shoulders to hide my misbehavior

I really understand what he means. However, I should also be able to take a stand for the good of me and my baby. One thing I can learn from my experience with Owen is that I don't want to be someone who is blind to my obsession with finding a real partner. I don't want to put too much faith in my feelings right now. Now, I will give logic a chance to lead my actions.

I nodded my head at the man still standing in front of me. "Okay, I understand."

"Thank you," he said in a hurry.

"Together."

He then cleared his throat. "Yes, I went outside first, yeah. If there's anything, you can just call me. Okay?"

I'm nodding. "Okay."

So Angga turned and walked. Shortly after, the door opened and closed.

Kuhela breathed long. "Oh, my God," I muttered in the empty room. What the hell just happened?

My gaze automatically turned and confirmed something. The broken picture is still there.

Angga must have forgotten the existence of glass fragments because it is too focused on taking care of me who is exhausted because of the emotions I experienced earlier.

The body automatically stood upright and the commandless legs began to walk towards the frame on the floor. I carefully squatted down and raised the frame using my fingertips.

Fortunately, the rupture was only a large fracture. There are no subtle parts that will harm others.

Immediately I stood up and headed for the trash can in the corner of the room, near the minimalist kitchen where we enjoyed lunch. I put the frames and the glass. Along with the photo in hand, I sat back on the sofa where I was back.

On the paper was seen a pair of young people who smiled very widely to the camera. Angga wearing a dress and toga graduation was embracing me who was wearing bodycon dress with baby pink sequin embroidery.

Actually it was not just a picture of the two of us, but three with Bang Oli. However, at that time we were still very careful to keep my brother unsuspecting. Be, because there are no photos of both, he cut out part of Bang Oli and left us alone.

I ....

Like when I first found out what Angga had done to the photo, now I still feel very. However, bitter and sweet became one when I remembered what happened after that afternoon.

O Lord, Most Forgiving and Most Great. Please teach me how to let go of the bitter feelings that have been lodged in this heart for so long.

I glanced at the surface of the photo once, twice, three times, before I stood up and put it back on the Angga desk. I hope, when I see that photo again in the future, the feelings it provokes are just like, no more suffering desecrating it.

I'm hopeful.

May God grant.

Connect ....