Papa To Oleander
27. Enjoy It First

Goslings

Fxck. No. Leaving Olavia was not an option. I told you this from the beginning. I promised her parents. I promised my friend too. Plus, I promised myself.

I used to make mistakes. I won't make the same mistake again.

I told you I'm not that big.

"No." I immediately denied the woman's words. Although she is the only girl I adore besides Nyokap, it does not mean I will agree - just agree all the same out of the sexy lips belongs to her. "No, I don't want to."

For the umpteenth time, I put her face into my grasp and held her gently. I looked him right in the eye. I hope, that way he can see the seriousness of the heart that emanates from my eyeballs. I hope it will give him a little confidence that I'm telling the truth, that I really mean everything I say. "I know I've been wrong with you, honey, but I've committed myself equally if I'm not going to repeat the same mistake a second time.

"I'm sorry. I'm sorry for making my own decisions and foolishly would rather run than tell you how I feel about you. I'm sorry for leaving you alone, in the middle of the night, and .... And ...." Fxck. I really cannot say that word. Just imagine it managed to make my hair crouch I creeps. I am sick of my own attitude. "I'm really sorry, honey. It was purely because of my stupidity. Not because I wanted to leave you. Never once did I realize that on my day.

"I want you. I want us to. I want to be with you like you first again. I don't care who you're carrying. What is clear is that the most important and important point for me is that this child is part of you and I want to be able to love you as a whole. He's your son, so I'll love him too. Point. I don't care about anything but that."

"Don't tell me, Ngga. You think that's that easy, huh? It's not all that easy. You don't just talk, you don't make promises. You don't–"

Now it's my turn to cut out his words. "No, you're wrong. I'm sure I can because loving you is the easiest thing I've ever done."

"No, you are not listening. I–"

"No. You are the one who is not listening. Hear me. I will prove all my words to you, with or without your consent."

I lowered my head so that there were only at least fifteen centimeters between our faces. I did that with the intention that he could see the earnestness within me from a closer distance. "I meant it ten, eleven years ago and I am the same now, my dear.

"I love you, Olavia Marie Arifin, and I will try my best so that you can see that. So you can feel it. So you can get that. So you can realize that. So that you can believe that I really love you. After all these years, eleven long and torturous years if you want me to go into more detail, I'm still in love with you and I think I'll be forever. I thought I could never get rid of this feeling.

"Because of you, Olavia Marie Arifin, was the most vital part of my life. There wouldn't be me without you, honey. You can choose not to believe. But, I have eleven years to be the proof and you can't deny that."

Silent. Only silence greeted me after my long speech. "Darling? Could you please say something?"

He pulled his face out of my hand and looked down. His fingertips suddenly began to play with his clothes. "I .. I can't, Ngga," said Olavia softly after some more time passed in silence.

"What's wrong, honey?" I asked for an explanation. I don't want to jump to conclusions. I don't want to accept the word can't for no reason that I can accept.

"I .. I can't. We ... all this .... I .... I'm ...." He stammered and shook his head.

Baffled. I can read it from body language and unfinished sentences.

L'm .... Can I be honest and say that I am happy with my observations? At least, if he is confused, it means that in his heart there is still a sense of my bhat. At least, if he was confused, he was still considering the possibilities.

At least I still have hope.

"Hey, hey, hey." This time I held the hand of my beloved woman so that I could get the full attention of her again. I kissed both backs of her hands gently. "You don't have to think about anything anymore. You don't have to worry about unnecessary things. Okay? I'm here to stay with you guys. I'm not going anywhere anymore. I will take care of you with all my body and soul. So, you can focus on your health and the baby in there. Okay? Let me handle any other business than that."

****

Ola

I looked at Angga's eyes carefully. I'm trying to find a loophole that can expose the lie if there is one. However, after taking turns combing the blackish-brown balls, which I got only.

I don't know. I don't know if what I saw was right or not. Clearly, Angga was right. I can't waste my time, energy, and mind on anything other than me and my bqy. I will not jeopardize our safety again.

That's why I finally nodded. It feels so comforting to know that there are people who will take care of you all day and meet all your needs at all times. "Okay."

The smile appeared again.

My heart is beating again.

I guess I will also never be able to escape the magic released by the Angga smile. A smile that could shine all over his face.

"Thank you's. Thank you, dear. I'm really happy to finally be able to reveal it all to you" explained Angga who in Kalakian embraced my body.

Ah, this fragrance.

This body.

This guy's.

"But, Ngga, you don't call me darling again, yeah. Pleases. I ... I feel burdened by that call. You and I are just friends now. And friends don't usually wear affection." I gave you an excuse.

Yeah, correct. It's just an excuse. Not that I was distressed by the call, but if Angga kept calling me darling, I was sure I would fall asleep and forget everything.

In the end, I realized I would still make a decision. Aboutabout us.

After my baby is born. Might as well.

I still have three to four months left.

Well, I think that's enough.

Hm. Will it be enough?

Connect ....