Papa To Oleander
26. Finally

Goslings

"Hey, honey." I cupped my idol's face again. "You can't say that. That's not all right. You understand? Olavia, you heard me, right?"

Although his face looked up, but his eyes were still pointing down. Not to meet my gaze.

"Olavia, honey, you heard me, right?" I wiped one tear drop that fell on her cheek using my right thumb. When one more droplet escaped that beautiful eyelid, and again, and again, my heart that was in pieces, broke again.

"Please, honey, please. You must hear me. You have to trust me. You are enough. You are more than enough. You ... you are everything. I'm the only bego, the dumbest, the most idiot, who thinks that leaving you is the only way you can enjoy your school days. So that you do not drown in the suffering of long distance relationship with me. I think I saved you at the expense of my own feelings and desires. I think I'm giving you the right choice by going so far away from you."

Then, after hearing my explanation, finally the chocolate bead was willing to look me in the eye. And how surprised I was when all I saw were fiery balls, not soft eyes.

"Optional, you say? The choice? Heh. Very funny to you, Ngga. Where are those choices, huh? Whereabouts? I HAVE NO CHOICE, MANGO! I DON'T HAVE ANY. I JUST HAVE TO ACCEPT THE CONSEQUENCES OF ALL THE CHOICES YOU MAKE. YOU GAVE ME NO CHOICE AT ALL.

"Try to be clear with me, what choice is there other than to think that the reason you left me is because I have no use for you anymore. Because you are willing to enjoy life as a student freely, without any bond will hinder your steps out there. Because I'm not enough to be the reason for maintaining our relationship.

"I know, Ngga, I know that every relationship needs sacrifice and even though you think I'm still a kid, in my heart, I'm determined to get through it all just like you. At least I want to try first. But, what? I can't do anything because you took all those opportunities from me.

"If you dare to be honest with me, to be open, to say everything that is in your mind, I think I am ready for heartbreak. I'm ready for you to stay because I took part in that decision. But what you do is the opposite.

"You coward, Ngga. You're the most cowardly man I've ever known. At least, if the same Owen, I get closure. I know that I mean nothing to him. I'm just one of those stupid, lucky women who got a gift from what we shared."

Hearing the Fuck's name, my anger level instantly changed. From zero suddenly rose to 100 and flew into space. "I'm so damn compared to the same old bastard who doesn't know the responsibility. Don't you ever want me to be with him again, you know? I'm not that depraved. I'm not as stupid as him. I'm not as dirty as a trashy man as he is," I growled. "But, I'm glad you finally confirmed my assumption all along. So I can confirm who my raw bogem target is."

"People!" Olavia brushed my hand. "Don't you dare interfere with my business!"

"The hell I won't!" I can't bear to not argue with him. "What, ha? After what you've been through, you still want to defend that bastard bastard?"

"That bastard knows nothing, Ngga!" The woman then took a long breath. "I don't think Owen knows I'm pregnant with her child."

But my question was answered only with silence. I wait, and wait, and wait, but what I'm waiting for doesn't show up. "Darling, what do you mean? You didn't tell her you were pregnant? Why, Honey? He should know. At least he should know that there's gonna be a kid who's got a piece of his DNA."

He breathed once more.

I am becoming more impatient. "Olavia?"

"Udah. Don't talk about him anymore. Let alone. I'm tired." At the time the response was out of his lips.

However, I still can't let this go. "But, I–"

"People, stop." He cut my talk again. "If I say that, yes, it is. Okay? It has nothing to do with it either .. lo."

"Oh, nice." I'm chuckling. "We're back now on a lo-gue call, huh? It's up to you. Whichever you use, it will be fine with me. I can be with you again."

"Whatever." The love of my life flicked his hands. "And, yes, about that." Olavia then put his hands on the floor to serve as a pedestal for his body that he was trying to lift.

I immediately stood up so that I could help my adored woman to stand up anyway.

"Gue wants to know, why do you want to do all this for me? What's the reason behind all this standby and I'll do anything for you lo, hm?Even more so now, of all time, when I was pregnant with a child from another boy. Do you think I'm too pathetic that you think you could be a soldier in shiny armor and save me? Or do you think with this you can make up for all the mistakes you've ever made? What, Ngga? Huh huh?

"Originally you know, yeah, I'm not damsel in distress, so I don't need anyone to save me. I can do this without a partner. I just need my family. And that's more than enough. And if about making amends for mistakes you've made, don't think about it again. I tried to forgive everyone and move on.

"Lo can see, No, I now have a big responsibility and do not play games. I want to be born again, I want to have children. I want to focus on my son first. I can't handle things that aren't important. Moreover, only the person who intends after the debt is paid off, he thinks he can escape midnight like before again. No, no, no. I can't waste my energy doing that.

"So, if you just want to erase the guilt that is inside you, it's okay. You don't have to do anything else for me and my son. I am sorry you. Seriously. Now you can go and get a move on. I live with my own son."

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