Parents For My Baby
Farewell

Pov Camilla

A few days later after I told all about Randi's crimes to Mba Rani, I heard the news that Randi was finally arrested by the police. My heart is so relieved, even though he was arrested not for the crimes he committed against me, but the layered demands on some cases would have been enough to incriminate his detention.

If you remember our memories, indeed I can not shake the sadness in my heart, Randi who I used to know is a very good man. Things can change a person's nature.

I took my phone, I missed Amanda so much, I could only see it through the photos Mba Rani sent me. But these few days Mba Rani seems to be busy, so it has been two days that she did not send me photos of Amanda.

I then tried to open social media owned by Mba Rani, seen in one of the last two days post owned by Mba Rani, I saw a photo of Amanda being with someone looking so cheerful playing in front of Dad's house. 'Mas Anton.' my inner self in heart. For a moment this heart trembled to see it, a longing arose from the bottom of my heart.

'Why I could never open a little bit of my heart to him, whereas Mas Anton is such a good and responsible man.' my inner self.

It did not feel like two months more I was at home in the house of Mr. Arif, the couple was so kind and attentive to me. Every month they take me to the obstetrician, and meet all my needs. When I saw them shopping for some baby gear my heart really hurt.

I tried to get into a room they had prepared for my son, I picked up one of the baby clothes in the closet and hugged him, I sobbed at the thought of all these clothes being worn by my son but I could never see them.

Then I stepped towards the crib and some toys they had prepared, my heart felt so claustrophobic looking at all of this. There was a deep desire to keep my baby away from them, but I kept all these feelings aside, and always tried to convince myself that this was the best way. I can also meet her whenever I want, I can ask for her picture if I miss her.

With my heart so tight that I left the room, I didn't want Miss Sugeng or Miss Winda to know that I was crying. I walked towards the park while holding my stomach which was moving because of the kick of my baby.

'Don't you know that my mom is sad?. I'm sorry that you couldn't take care of you when you were born in this world, I'm sorry that your father doesn't acknowledge your presence, I'm sorry if we could never be good parents to you.' I said in my heart.

Finally the day that awaited arrived, one night I felt my stomach so heartburn, I woke up, when I went to the bathroom, fresh blood and mucus began to drip. I then woke Ms. Sugeng to tell Miss Winda and Mr. Arif.

They all drove me to the hospital, and it turned out that I had entered the opening three. Mr. Arif and Ms. Winda looked so anxious to see me in pain, they did not move in the least from this hospital. Even Bu Winda always accompanied beside me.

Ms. Winda was constantly praying and offering prayers for me. The next minutes I felt my heartburn growing, until the two hours finally the opening was declared complete.

I was actually scared because I was no longer young, but I always prayed for ease. When a midwife gave me a cue to start pushing, I took a deep breath and began to push with the remnants of my strength. Finally I heard a midwife tell me to stop pushing, my baby was born.

The tears of the bayipun broke, I could only give thanks. When I was no longer young I could still give birth normally without any problems. What a great gift O God.

At first glance I saw him again, he was such a handsome baby, his eyes were round and big. Yes, those eyes were very similar to her. But remembering it is too painful for me. The man who became my first love.

I looked at the baby again, the child I bear and I gave birth to with great struggle. An hour after giving birth I was taken to the treatment room. Tonight is my last night, tomorrow morning we are allowed to go home and I have to part with him.

Miss Winda and Ms. Sugeng tonight accompanied me in this room. They both took care of my child lovingly, actually I couldn't bear to see all this, when my son was crying that calmed and cradling was someone else's hand, not my own. 

Suddenly Miss Winda approached me, she hugged me so tightly. "Thank you Kamila, your sacrifice is precious to us, now rest, your body must be so tired today."

I could only nod, it was hard for these eyes to be closed even after midnight. I can only pretend to close my eyes while looking at my son in the crib. Tonight I just want to look at him. Without feeling like the day had changed, my heart was so tight that I hugged and held her for the last time. My tears are so flowing.

Miss Winda then hugged me, I tried to refresh my heart. It's heavy, it's heavy, but it's all for his good. His new family is one of the richest families in the area. A bright future awaits him and I am sure that Mr. Arif and Ms. Winda will take care of my son with great affection. The husband and wife have loved him so much since he was in my womb, I can only see them fondling you.

I then say goodbye to go home, Miss Winda and Ms. Sugeng hug me tightly saying goodbye. The words of gratitude never stopped from the lips of the two husbands and wives. We walked out of this hospital. I was still standing while staring at them off taking you in a different direction from me.

                             ******

I woke up from my daydream when Mba Ranj touched my shoulder. "Kamila what are you thinking? There's Vienna in front waiting for us, if you're not ready to meet him let me, you just rest in the room."

"Ga mba, Mila why don't we meet her together."

We then stepped into the living room, I saw Vienna sitting with his head bowed. "Mba Vienna." I said.

She then came closer to me looking at me sharply, there was actually fear in my heart if she was going to act rude again because her husband had been imprisoned because of us. But it turns out I was wrong, he cried and rested in front of me and Mba Rani.

Mba Rani and I could only look at her crying. "Mba Vienna is Mba, don't cry it's all over."

I hugged her and she hugged me back and repeatedly apologized to me.

"Kamila forgive me, forgive Randi who has been so evil to you, really I just know all the crimes that Randi has done, it turns out he has also killed my parents Kamila." his words faltered because they were accompanied by sobs.