Possessive Past
CHAPTER 9 - The Desire to Be Free

About them being put together just to create memories in the future. Carve thousands of seconds with a beautiful story that can be remembered again. As the writing on the worn-out paper was exposed to water, it slowly disappeared, but it was still memorable. Memory like paint attached to the wall, although patched with other colors, the old color still imprint.

Space is still thinking hard, about what step he will choose after this. Every time he wanted to stop, relented and accepted the fact that his mother had given him no blessing, Hazel's memories were ringing in his memory, his laughter, his smile, everything he had. Perhaps, if he asked others for advice, others would tell him to leave Hazel, they were still both young, many beautiful and kind women out there. But for Angkasa, even though they are still both young, their love story is still referred to as a monkey love story in adolescence, still.

They all never know, how important a sense of comfort for the Space that has been a comfort crisis. He can feel what it feels like to be privileged, appreciated for what he has done, sincere simply because the person loves him.

When his father was alive, he was suffering more than now because every father and mother met, they must have fought. About those who are united without bonds of sincere love, mothers who feel the most hurt and want to rebel at all times and fathers who are cold and do not want to be blamed for everything that happens. Those who always say they both hate, do not love each other, and equally do not want to live the household in front of their own children.

How great was the quarrel between his mother and father in the past, he could only pay attention. From there he got used to it, covering everything with a smile just because he didn't want others to know what he was feeling.

Feeling how happy to be privileged by others, loved sincerely, trusted, when he keeps a lie, it makes Angkasa trapped, he said, between the affection that comes without cue and guilt for all that he has done so far. Hazel ... She's one of the people that Space is now prioritizing.

After Hazel Angkasa's house did not go home immediately, now that the clock has shown ten o'clock at night, her mother must have gone home. He was still not ready to get scolding and punches, wanting to feel a sense of calm for a moment.

Whether the demon who possessed it, suddenly an Angkasa who is usually anti with the night club, now even approached him just like that. While holding his head because of dizziness with the sound of music that is too loud, Angkasa entered the club. There are some women approaching it, maybe because they are interested in the good looks of Space, but Angkasa does not pay attention to it.

In the midst of the crowd and the noise of the song that continues to flow, Angkasa cried while holding his head with both hands. Even when he was in a crowd, he felt lonely. His chest murmured, with a reddened face Angkasa took out a glass of beer. He took a sip, his reddened face reddened even more due to the effects of alcohol.

Actually his friends had invited him here, but he never wanted to, this was his first time to come and also drink. His body felt floating, because it was not usual to drink alcohol, just drinking a full glass only he was drunk.

"Man is free to choose what he wants, but why should I be restrained?" angkasa said with a laugh, he sat on a small bench located right in front of the club waiters who were offering beer. He piles his head with his hands on the table. "Gue can also be free, I can be what I want." After laughing, he was crying.

"It's just the mother I have now, I can't fight her even if I'm battered, that's the truth" he said, playing an empty glass.

The phone rang a few times, but he didn't care.

"Gue can be what I want, I am free to choose what I want to choose, and I deserve to be happy" said Angkasa. Now that he had gulped down seven glasses, his consciousness began to disappear until he was finally completely unconscious.

...***...

Now that Erika's mom is confused because Angkasa does not go home, the clock has shown eleven o'clock at night, Angkasa is not a boy who likes to go out at night.

He had been looking out of the house for an hour, had not even had time to change his work clothes. He has also contacted Arsy, Hazel and friends of Angkasa, they all said they did not know. Erika's current feeling was very upset, between tired, worried, annoyed, all being one.

He kicked the steering wheel and shouted, now the streets are very slow. There's only one car on the road right now.

"Where are you, Space!" his yell.

As his phone rang he immediately rushed to pick it up. It turned out to be from Hazel, but at first he was angry - thinking that the one who contacted him was Angkasa.

"Have the sky come home, Auntie?"

Erika did not immediately answer, in fact, she hated Hazel very much, but considering that now her son is still in contact with Hazel, as much as possible she could endure the upset she wanted to vent.

"Not yet, Auntie's looking for him, but she hasn't seen him."

Hazel let out a heavy sigh, it seemed that she was also very worried. It makes Erika's mother speechless, it turns out the person she hates cares about her child very much.

"I tried to track her phone, Auntie, and .. I still can't believe it, but I'll tell you. Now the position of the Angkasa mobile phone is in Club BT, I send the address via chat, yes, Aunt. I'm sorry I can only help you find the location, because I won't be able to leave the house at ten."

Ms. Erika bit her lower lip, her feelings grew even more upset when she found out that Angkasa was at the club. After Hazel sends her address, she rushes to the club.

On the other hand Hazel was still trying to contact Angkasa, but the boy still did not pick up his phone. He was also very worried, even unable to sleep. A few years ago he had been taught his father to track the whereabouts of mobile phones, fortunately Angkasa turned on the location feature on his mobile phone, so he could know. Perhaps, if the condition is not like this, he will not dare to call his mother number Angkasa, for the sake of Angkasa he fought the fear.

"You why, Ka, it's not like you I know" Hazel said as she stared at the screen of her mobile phone that showed the face of Angkasa.

When suddenly the doorknob of her room turned, Hazel closed her eyes, pretending to be asleep. He forgot to lock the room. Turns out his mother, he rubbed Hazel's forehead fondly.

Hazel felt more and more that the people around her were harboring many things she did not know. From the smiles of Angkasa, the looks of his mother, the words of his brother and father, all of that made Hazel think hard about what really happened in the past.

...***...

Erika cried at the door of the club, this club has a history in his life. She hated clubs, places where her husband used to spend a lot of time. His hands trembled, his body as if struck by tremors, with slow steps he went inside. He looked in all directions in turn, looking for where his son was.

The people around him make him spontaneously embrace themselves, they look free, laughter, overactive body movements, desperate faces, what to do this just to find pleasure? It frightened him, how free the night world was.

His eyes were round when he saw his only child unconscious in front of the barmaid. Her face reddened, her eyes closed, it made her cry-remember her husband's face as she approached to go home soon. The bitter memories of the past come back to haunt him. Her breath feels tight.

"Angkasa ..," he said softly, people around him stared strangely.

Space smiled, but his eyes closed. "I'm fine, don't mind me" she wrote.

The tears of Erika's mother were getting louder, seeing her son up like this, she felt very guilty.

When he touched Angkasa, Angkasa even shook his hand.

"This is Mom" he said.

Miss Erika covered her mouth with her palm. Without further ado, he immediately took Angkasa's body to the car, although Angkasa continued to rebel, until it fell both, he still managed to bring Angkasa into the car.

"Why should you go to a club? Didn't Mom ever say that you hate clubs so much? Wh why? Why are you like your father? You guys are so mean," said Ms. Erika while rubbing her rough face.

Space only murmured, sometimes smiled, sometimes silent, he was drunk heavily.

"You're not a drinker, it's not good for your body! Why are you so stupid!"

Because he felt very tired, Erika immediately gassed the car, he wanted to quickly get home.

When he reached home, he immediately dropped Angkasa in the bathtub, he menguyur Angkasa with cold water until the child was unconscious.

Space was still a little drunk, he was silent while covering his face with a palm. His head feels dizzy, his body feels sore.

"Why are you going to the club, Angkasa!" gentak Miss Erika.

Space looked up, his eyes reddened, he smiled obliquely. "I'm ready now, please if you want to scold me, hit me, please ...."

Erika's mom brought her tears back. "Why should you follow in your father's footsteps?! You guys always make me like this! Kill me, let me calm down, I really don't calm down if it continues like this, I'm tired!" Erika dropped down, she cried while hugging her knees.

Space woke up from the bathtub and stood in front of his mother. "Mother knows, birds will die if placed in a cage without ever being met with the sun. Father and Mother, you are both hard, no one will budge and try to melt, hate to be repaid, rude to be harshly reciprocated, therefore your household is destroyed. And I, I am your son, not your pet, whom I can feed and .. commanded this-that's as you please. I said, I'm tired." Space laughs. "I'm also tired, even now I'm starting to feel .. I'm sorry I was born from Mom's womb." After saying that Angkasa directly came out of the lower bathroom and went to his room that was on the second floor.

Erika's mother's cry grew louder, Space's words just now as if they continued to spin in her ears. Stuffed .... He was even confused as to what to say. All he did was roar, venting out the tightness with tears.

...***...

Space woke up at one noon, his body was sick, his head was dizzy. Usually every morning his mother always woke him, today his mother even let him sleep until one noon.

While frowning he went down, looking for the whereabouts of his mother. From the room to the kitchen, he still has not found the whereabouts of his mother. Finally he headed for the bathroom that was usually used for the guests - the place last night he and his mother had a fight.

Angkasa's eyes rounded, his mother fainted inside the bathroom, still in her work clothes. That means, since night his mother was in the bathroom. Without thinking long Space immediately carried his mother's body into the room. He tried to contact the hospital to bring one of the doctors to his house.

After waiting for 30 minutes, the doctor who was going to check on his mother came.

"What's up, Doc?" ask Angkasa after the doctor tagged Ira finished checking on her mother.

"Your mother was tired, she had a fever, and. Was there a problem before? Maybe at your mom's job?"

Angkasa felt guilty, last night he was still not too aware, even when saying hurtful words he was still a little drunk. "Ah, perhaps ... What should be taken to the hospital?"

Doctor Ira shakes. "In a moment he will wake up, don't forget to remind him to take medicine, eat regularly, take a break for a moment, and don't push yourself too hard to think about anything heavy."

Space nodded. "Thank you, Doc."

Doctor Ira nodded with a smile. "May I recover soon, I'll go straight back to the hospital."

"Let me drive to the door."

After Ira's doctor left, Angkasa immediately returned to his mother's room. Just as he arrived, his mother regained consciousness, Angkasa hurriedly approached.

"Have you eaten? What time is it now? Ah, last night .. why is my head so dizzy," said Ms. Erika.

Angkasa lowered his head, he felt very guilty, yes ..he did have such a smooth heart.

"Mother, I'm sorry, about my words last night, my actions last night, and everything" Angkasa said.

Miss Erika was silent, she still did not remember much about what happened last night, but after hearing the words of Angkasa, she immediately remembered. His heart ached again, he turned his head up, holding back the tears from coming down.

"Mother must eat and take medicine, I will find food outside," said Angkasa, after which he just went out.

When the Space was out, Erika's tears immediately paused. He shut his mouth tightly so that his crying voice could not be heard.

On the other hand, Angkasa must try to look okay when passing by the neighbors outside.

"Si Angkasa pity, yes, when his father was alive, quarreling mau with his mother, when his father had died, his mother even went to him. His son was very friendly, respectful the same old, smart, me if I have a child like he already I love it."

Space does not hear it, if he hears it, he will certainly reverse the words of his neighbors. No matter how broken his family is, he is still not happy if anyone talks about his family.

Neighbors could tell because they often heard the sound of the quarrel from outside, coincidentally next to the Space house there are houses of the mothers of the head of the turah lambe in his neighborhood. So all the gossip about his family often starts from him.

...•••...