Protective Physician
Don't Block Me!

I who wanted to cry immediately got up. Walk to the elevator. I know, at the very top of this hospital building there's a rooftop. Because this hospital is one part of the drug factory I work in. It's on the tenth floor. That's where I'm gonna get the end of her life story.

Elevator door opens. I immediately squeezed the tenth floor. Top floor of the hospital. After this, Fian will regret it, because the man has said several times he could not live without me.

"You'll regret Fian for leaving me!" elevator Door opens. I continued on, climbing the stairs until I reached the place he was referring to.

***

The wind was blowing a little. Makes me shiver cold. That's why I had to cling to myself to suppress the cold. Stand aside. Look down. Looks like the car park is almost fully charged because this coincides with the next clock. Then the taste of the gamang makes goosebumps.

A month ago, I felt like her life was perfect when Fian proposed. The man gave us a white silver ring as a sign that we were engaged. The orphaned me was really happy, even then I soared happy like getting a diamond gift. Though only ordinary silver rings that cost not even a hundred thousand. But at that time, even until now I do not care about the price, which makes me happy I will finally have a family as well as others.

But all was lost, because of the pain suffered. Cancer in the head has entered stage three. Maybe for people there is still hope, that is also what I had in mind at first, but it disappeared after the Fian mas talk.

Who else can I depend on? If the condition is really down later, I hope that Fian mas will take care because we love each other, but before doing so, mas Fian has refused outright.

Actually what makes me even more sad is his attitude that is suddenly different from usual which is always sweet to me. Fian is really bad. All this time I fought for him but now he's like this. Besides, I also know myself, will not be silent on my hands forever, after being healthy later I will also return to work because basically I always fight for myself. Being an orphan made me strong early on.

"Goodbye to the world. I'm going to eternity. I will meet my father and mother who I longed for in heaven. After that I will be happy. There will be no more pain, fatigue and abandonment. My life will be happy for good." The gusts of wind again make me cold. "Bismilbornrahmanirrahim!"

"Hey, what are you doing!" the voice of someone behind the wall.

I quickly retreated, shocked to find someone walking towards me. Men wear doctor suits.

S. Primary. That's the name on the sign.

"Si .. Who are you?" I ask, timid. Worried that he knew my intentions and would be a problem for me. And just want to die, why be caught like this.

"I should have asked. Who're you?" the man asked back.

"Rissa. I'm Rissa."

If it were apes, there would be many people following the kangkahnu. Suicide from here. You know the end. People who claim to be able to see subtle creatures will create content here. More and more people are coming in and out.

You know what that means? This place won't be this comfortable anymore. It will be noisy by people who don't know what his mind is like, but who are obviously noisy and annoying to me. I won't be able to rest or just take a nap here when you know, I'm really tired!"

"I .. yes. I-i understand. Sorry,"

"Some, did you say that. Suicide goes to heaven? Hahaha." the man laughed back and forth. Piss me. It was as if he was mocked even though what he said was true. Where there are dead people committing suicide go straight to heaven! "You don't study religion? His mind is short. There's a little suicidal stuff. Ckckckck. No one gives you any advice that suicide is one of the great sins!"

"Little problem? Hey, do you think cancer is just a small problem? Moreover, the sufferer is a poor person who was born an orphan. Again he has no one to survive but himself." I said. "Oh yeah, one more, he just cut off his girlfriend. Understand!"

"Ckckck, I was just about to sympathize. But it didn't. You are lacking faith. No religious hold."

"What do you mean talk like that?"

"People who know religion, no matter how severe the problem, will not think of suicide. That's not the best solution. Think about regrouping in heaven? You kidding? Where do people commit suicide go to heaven? Ngawur! Plus one more, dating! Oh no! You want to kill yourself just because your boyfriend left behind? Very narrow his mind path. The man is not just him. You must rise, prove that you are valuable. If he can dump you especially for the reason you are sick, why can't you do the same thing like him? Prove that you too can live without it! Come on girl, don't be narrow-minded. Hey, or maybe you ....?"

"What?"

"Yes, right?"

"Astagfireullah! Hey, don't accuse me. That's called slander. He and I have never done anything forbidden. Even the road together can be counted fingers because we are busy working for the future. I work from Monday to Saturday at the factory from morning to night. I rarely take overtime. On weekends I use it for extra work. How can you accuse me of being that low when you don't know me. So mean!"

"Yes great. Then you don't have to go down too dong."

"Stay away. You won't know how scared I am. There's nothing else I can count on."

"But you still have God. To hope in man is only to be disappointed, in contrast to hope in God."

I was silent for a moment. Trying to digest the words of the man in front of me. Right too, why can I be that short thinking. Especially hoping that Fian would be frustrated because I killed myself. The one with the man will be indifferent. I don't even care what I do.