Pursuing the Love of My Husband
The Part 04 MCS

#Pursuing the Love of My Husband part 4 (Khitbah)

A woman came with a tray with four glasses of drinks, and a couple of jars of cookies.

I wasn't focused on the tray, I was focused on the woman walking closer and closer towards us.

“Please drink” he said gently.

He held one glass at a table in front of his owner.

After that, he sat right next to his Umminya.

I noticed his face that just looked down.

She was sweet, but not as pretty as Sheila.

Its height is about 157cm, with mature brown skin. She was not thin, but neither was she fat, I could not see for sure how she looked, because she was wearing a long robe and hijab.

At first glance looking at him, I saw he had brown-colored eye beads.

Her nose is bigger than Sheila's. But this girl's appearance was far from my expectations.

I prefer the type of city girls who are good at matching clothes and makeup on their faces, like Sheila.

Unlike this girl, she was very simple, in the first meeting with her future husband, she was reluctant to decorate herself.

Even I see, she doesn't wear lipstick on her lips at all.

He wears a gombrang robe of old turmeric color, as well as a veil of matching color, covering from the head to the calves.

I don't know, first impressions see it, I'm normal. There is no vibration in my heart, let alone love.

Just to be interested I don't think so! If comparing with Sheila, it was obvious this girl was nothing.

However, I can guess her age is below Sheila.

Apparently, he's young. Maybe he's about 18.

Sure enough, a moment later, Ummi told her that Annisa was 18 years old, and had just graduated from High School last year while lodging in a famous boarding school in this City, Ummi also said, he's settled for marriage.

According to Ummi, Annisa once said, if a soul mate has come, there is no reason for him to refuse.

Moreover, Annisa has no mahram to guard her while traveling far away. Annisa is an only child, and her father is dead.

Ummi also explained that Annisa wants to continue her education in college if her husband allows.

“Cost problem, insyaAllah Annisa will not be burdensome, because he has an online shop business, and insyaAllah of his business can meet the cost of his lectures.”

Ummi said while glancing at me.

“No problem Ummi, God willing I support whatever Annisa wants to do. As long as it is good and does not neglect its obligations as a wife.” My answer.

Either because this girl is not as pretty as Sheila, or because I can't escape her shadows, this meeting feels hollow.

There is no swish in the heart, no heartbeat that makes groggy.

“Annisa, must have known the intent of their arrival here?” ummi asked the girl who had lowered her head to hear our conversation.

“Iya, Ummi. Nisa knows, last week Mom came here to express her intentions.” He answered in a soft voice.

The one I saw was her superiority over Sheila, Annisa was a meek girl, whereas Sheila was a firm girl, a bit chatty, again firm on her stance.

“Betul, son. The purpose of the arrival of the Father, Mother and Rizki here is to menghitbah Nisa to be the wife of the son of the Father. Is Annisa ready?” now, I see you starting to talk about the main point.

“Then, how to answer Nisa?”

Ummi's voice breaks my daydream.

I want to cancel this sermon process, and say that I don't like the girl in the clothes.

Foolish time with my lies to Sheila. Because for me, marriage must be loved first.

Later, how can I give him an inner living, if the murmur of the heart alone I do not feel.

It felt like, imagining getting married to a woman who was completely disliked would be more difficult than I imagined.

But, for what reason? I don't want to embarrass Mom and Dad.

“What do Ummi think? Does Ummi agree?” he replied glancing at Ummi who had been holding his hand.

The girl asked Umminya for an answer. I do not think, who will undergo this marriage is himself, why must submit his decision to Ummi.

“Ummi see, Rizki is a good, well mannered child and certainly a devoted child to her parents. Rizki is also a child who loves her mother very much. God willing, a man who loves and glorifies his own mother, will do the same to his wife. What's more, Ummi already knows his parents. Ummi knew they were people who knew about religion. Isn't that the main condition of Annisa when asking for a mate to Ummi? And again, Ummi is istikharah, inshaAllah if Nisa agrees, Ummi also agrees. God willing, Rizki can be a good priest as long as you both want to learn to improve.”

Ummi replied at length, assuring his son that Ummi was convinced of his choice.

“Good. If Ummi agrees and according to Ummi, Mas Rizki is the best choice. Bismillah, Annisa received this sermon.”

Everyone here says hamdalah. But not with me, I feel sorry for lying to Sheila who ended up having a bad impact on myself.

How can I be a good husband to him? While I have only interest in him I have none.

***

Arriving home, Mom asked about my response to Annisa.

“As Iki has said before, Iki will not reject any reason from the candidate chosen by Mother and Father.” Answer me with a smile.

“But, I see you don't seem to like it very much. Because I noticed, you were daydreaming more. Hopefully this is just a feeling of Mother yes, son.”

Apparently, a mother's instincts are really strong. Without me saying it, I know that I'm lacking in respect to the candidate they chose.

“Not so, Mom. This is the first time we met, Iki just felt awkward. That's why Iki doesn't talk much.” My words convinced Mom.

“Father sure, Annisa is a good girl, son. Please don't disappoint him.” Said my father as if worried.

“Iya, Sir. InsyaAllah Iki will do everything possible to make Annisa.” happy Although hesitant, but I can say it with full confidence in front of the Father.

I really don't want to disappoint them. Moreover, I asked them to find a future wife.

Hope this is the best way. Hopefully, behind this, there is sweet wisdom.

And hopefully, with my sacrifice of marrying another woman, Sheila's household remains fine, and she can live happily with her husband who is able to give Sheila whatever she wants.

***

Since yesterday I was in the village, I never checked my phone, to make this thing die because it ran out of battery.

I'll find the charger, and recharge the battery.

After charging a few percent, I restarted this phone out of curiosity whether or not there was an incoming message.

To be more precise, I wonder if Sheila is back in contact with me?

After coming back to life, my gaze immediately rang a few times signaling some incoming messages.

Some of the Ajis who ask how my sermons are processed.

There are also from WhatsApp group of friends at PT.

And lastly there was a chat from Sheila.

[P]

[Ki]

[I went to your boarding house, yes. There's something I want to talk about.]

[😭😭😭]

[Last noon, I went to your boarding house, Ki. There, I only met Ajis. He said, you are returning home to determine the date of the wedding.]

[It feels so crowded, Ki. Is this how you felt when I got married?]

[If you're really getting married, please invite me, Ki. Please allow me to meet you one last time, before I really let you down. Please let me see you again.]

I didn't feel my tears just dripping while reading the message from Sheila.

My chest feels tight. My eyes can no longer contain the details of sadness that represent the heart.

Sheila, I'm sure this is the best way for us. One day, you will be happy with your chosen man.

Seriate...