The Fill - In Boyfriend
Episode 18's

"Or Trees?"

"Ha ha's. No, I'd say Grant. Like, give me the patience to face this kid when I get stuck in the car with him. "

“Stuck? I think I remember you begging to come with me. "

I am not begging.

With this he laughed out loud.

"Okay, all right, I'm begging on prom night but whatever." I hit him again. Then something happened to me. “So why are you waiting in the parking lot? You live six blocks from school and your sister has a cell phone. Plus your brother said you had to go somewhere. ”

He was silent for so long that I thought maybe I would discuss a painful topic. Finally he said, "If I tell you, I don't want you to think that I'm some kind of freak."

I don't make promises.

"I'm worried about you."

"About me?"

“I pulled to the right as Bradley removed your arm from his waist and pushed you away. Then you scream at each other. And the look on your face after he left. . . I'm just gonna make sure that you're okay and you get a ride home. I'm pulling out a book so I don't look too creepy while waiting to see what you're going to do. "

Two competing feelings to take over my emotions. The first was a great shame at how miserable I looked. The second was a tribute to how good he was without knowing me. Gratitude wins. “Thank you,” I said. "It was very . . . ”

"Gruesome?"

“No, sweet. So that's why? "

"Why What?"

“You said it wasn't my smile that made you go to prom with me, but there was something else. Do you feel sorry for me? "

“Maybe it was a little at first, but then, you look so. . . ”

"Hot?" I asked when he was not finished.

She smiles. "Lonely."

The smile on my face with the joke disappeared. "Lonely?"

He didn't respond.

"I have many friends."

“Do not get angry. It's just observation. I may be wrong. ”

"You're wrong." Here I think he has seen something in me that I didn't know I had, something that he knows about me. That's the main reason I want to find him. No one had ever looked at me with the intensity he experienced on that first night. No one has ever looked inside me, outside the obvious. But actually he just felt sorry for me. He doesn't know me at all. Why am I not at Logan's party now?

"Okay I'm sorry. But luckily I felt that way or you wouldn't have a fake girlfriend that night. "

"true."

He rubbed his hair and looked at me with big eyes as if he wanted to apologize again. That's helping. "my name. It can't double as a word, no. "

Right, back to the game. "OK, so it's not a very famous person, it can be a last name but not a very common name, and it can't be used in sentences. It's hard."

“Yes, there are only a million names, so yes. . . . ” She has a sweet smile. The upper teeth are straight but the lower ones compete for space, colliding with each other in a slightly bent row. “And I think it is the only question you can ask about a name, so do you give up?”

“No, that's not the only question about a name. Is this a place? ”

I'm sure everyone can find a place by their name.

"No."

“OK, so not Dallas or Houston, then—”

“You like Texas?”

“That's just the first I think of.” I looked around the car and wondered if there were any clues there. Letter or note. There's nothing.

“Are you trying to cheat?”

"Maybe. So, your sister's name is Bec. Can you tell me about the special meaning behind it? " I asked, thinking there might be a theme.

“That's not a yes-or-no question. Are we done with the game? ”

"OK, Mr. Follower of the Rules, I withdraw the question."

He turned off the radio that became the background sound of our conversation. “My sister was named after Rebecca from the Bible, but that won't help you because my father named my sister and my mother named me. My father was very religious. My mother was a hippie, a painter who loved freedom. "

"Thul? How did that happen?"

“My mother put some paintings into an art show held by the church my father attended. Twenty years later and they're still together. "

"Cool."

“Yes, they are so cool.”

I stared at the numbers of the shining radio stations. It wasn't a station I'd ever listened to, so I didn't recognize the song playing quietly at all. Do you know what we did with this game?

"What's that?"

“Increase anticipation.”

She laughs. "I know? Can I fill Bradley up forever? ”

"No." I turned towards him in my chair. “I'm very curious about your name.”

He gripped the steering wheel and stared at the road. The sun had set and the sky was turning gray and getting darker every minute. He licked his lips and his voice became hoarse and soft. "'The visible, the known, dissolves in the game of color, becoming the illusory flesh of light that was, once, forever.'"

I'm not sure what he just said but I know I want him to say it again. “It's beautiful. What'sthat?"

“Part of poetry. When my mother was pregnant with me, she went to see art shows held all over the city. "Monet's "Water Lilies" are some of the paintings and a poem by Robert Hayden is shown with him. He had always loved the painting but that day he fell in love with the poem. So he named me after the poet. "

Robert's?

"No."

"Davis. . . ” I realized that I had said it with a little respect and I cleared my throat to pretend that that was why.

“Is it disappointing?”

"No, not at all. I really like it. "

I like it too.

“Much better than filling Bradley.”

"How's Bradley doing?" He glanced at me.

“I don't know. I haven't spoken to him since that night. " Lately I've been lying too much, so I feel the need to add, "She sent me a message. I tried to call him back and he didn't answer. Then he called me back but I missed it. Then I left a message for him. I haven't decided if I'll call him again. "