The Fill - In Boyfriend
35

I have drowned lower in my chair, not a fan of being a poster child for mocking the public. I could feel both Hayden and Bec staring at me, but now I was focusing on the red velvet seat in front of me.

Professor Drew is back on stage. “Thank you, Drew. And good news — if you want to see this or any part of this evening in its entirety, please visit this website. ” The address of a site appears on the big screen. I didn't want to see Drew's work in its entirety, but I kept the address in mind.

When the lights in the theater came on, I jumped.

Hayden put his hand on my shoulder. "What do you want to do? Do you want to talk to him? ”

"I want to hit him" Bec said.

“Bec, this is not about you,” Hayden said.

Nate raised his hand. "I want to hit him too."

He edited it a lot.

You don't have to explain, Gia.

This is why Drew doesn't want us here and I should have listened.

"I'm fine." I stood up and looked at Drew, who was surrounded by his friends and professors.

A college-age girl behind me said, “Hey, it was you in that movie. And you pull out your cell phone during the ceremony. How ironic. "

I gasped and Bec clenched his teeth at the girl.

I forced a smile. "I just want to go home" I told Hayden. I'll talk to him tomorrow when he's not too busy.

“Can I speak to him now when he is surrounded by the opinions of those he values?”

Bec pushed his brother. "Yes. Doing."

"No. I just want to go home, ”kataku again.

After we made it through the crowded theater and out to campus, I took a deep breath. Hayden, Bec, and Nate were silent. I just want them to talk and act like everything is normal. If we pretend now that it's not happening, it'll be a lot easier.

When we got to the car, I sat in my seat. My first thought was to get my phone out and distract me from the reality of what just happened, but I can't do it now, not with the image that I was doing that that still kept spinning in my mind.

Hayden started the car and got out of the parking lot. "If it's any consolation, I don't think he's blaming you. He only uses you as an example to illustrate his point. He said it was a generational issue, not your specific problem. "

I'm nodding.

Bec punched his arm. “It's not a consolation. That's brother. He shouldn't have done that. Point."

"I know," Hayden agreed.

"After all that's not the case" I said in a voice I wasn't sure they could hear.

"What's that?"

The problem is that it's true. I'm that guy. " I really care about what other people think of me. I did delete pictures or tweets that didn't get enough likes. I do measure my value in those terms. I am probably the most shallow person in the world and I just found it.

We're all that guy, Gia. That's why he won the award. That's perfectly acceptable. "

Maybe Hayden is right, but for whatever reason I feel it suits me best. I leaned my head against the window and left my eyes closed.

CHAPTER 23

Bec throbs. You're already up.

Where is Hayden?

He pointed to the window where Hayden and Nate were standing near the gas station.

“Oh. Gas." I grabbed onto the floor, took my wallet, and looked for my wallet. Pulling out my twenties, I put it into the cup holder in the center console.

Bec looked at them for a moment then said, "I'll tell you something and mostly I'll tell you because I feel sorry for you after what happened tonight, but I also tell you because it's true."

"Okay," I said, watch out. It doesn't seem to be a directive that will produce something I want to hear.

"You said the reason you're so upset is because you're that guy, the guy your brother reviled in his stupid movie."

"Yes." Yeah."

And that's true. You are that guy. "

Thank you, Bec.

I said 'formerly.' You are no longer. ”

I understand what he's trying to say, how he's trying to cheer me up, but I know better. I'm no less shallow today than when my brother filmed me six months ago.

He must have felt I didn't trust him because he continued. “You seem to be trying harder lately. You greeted me at school in front of your friends. You helped my brother out with Eve. And we've been together for eight hours now and I don't want to strangle you. That must mean something. "

I laughed short. His list of good deeds is very short.

Hayden sat in the driver's seat and his eyes found mine. "Are you okay?"

"I'm fine." It was the third time I said it and the third time it wasn't true. I pointed to the cup. "Thank you."

He saw the cash that was there. What's that for?

I made myself smile. "Good time."

Nate snorted laughing and Hayden smiled but it looked forced as well.

My phone rang and I gasped, remembering I forgot to call my mom when I got into the car like I promised. I immediately replied. “Sorry, Mom, I'm on my way home. We're, like, an hour away. ”

"I'm worried."

I know, I'm sorry. I forgot to call. "

"Well, I thought maybe you went out to celebrate with your sister afterwards, so when I couldn't reach you, I called her."

You did? I squeak. "What did he say?"

“She didn't answer, so I left a voicemail. He must be busy. "

"Yes. I'm sure he's out with friends or something. . . . What did you say in the voice mail? ”

“I just asked if you were with him because you haven't checked in even though you promised to do it.”

"Sorry" I said again, but all I thought about was that my sister now knew I had been there. I wondered how long it would be before he listened to the message and what he would say when he called me. I'll see you in a minute.