The Fill - In Boyfriend
Episode 36's

"good. Drive safely. ”

"Thank you Mother." I hung up.

Bec said, "He knows?"

I checked my phone to make sure there were no missed calls from him. "Yet. But he'll do it. "

An hour later, after dropping off Nate, we stopped at Hayden's house and I met his eyes once again, confused as to why he didn't take me home.

"Get out" he told Bec.

"good. The bodo."

I also got down and hugged her before she could enter the house. “Thank you for coming today and trying to make me feel better.”

He squeezed me once. “Say I don't want to strangle you. Not that I want to hug you. " I could hear the smile in his voice as he said it. "Thank you for helping me with Nate" he said just before he left.

Hayden had also gotten out of the car and he gestured for me to follow him. He took me to the swing on the porch. "Sit down" he told me.

“You still think you set me up?”

"I don't like the word 'I'm fine'. My mother said that those two words were the most commonly spoken lie in English. And I don't need him to tell me that. There's no way you're okay after what happened tonight. "

“Hayden, I appreciate what you did for me today. Once. But I really can't talk about it right now. "

The look she gave me then made my heart ache. He felt sorry for me. . . again. "I'm worried about you. And I can't send you home like this because you've told me how little you talk to your parents and I know what kind of people your friends are. And now I've seen your great brother. It'll eat you alive. I just want you to talk about it. Let it out."

"That's not how I handle things." For a moment I thought I understood my brother. I think I will find a great mystery about why he quarreled with my parents — that he was just trying to express his opinion. But if this is how expressing opinions makes others feel, I am fine with returning to peacekeeping strategies. Keep everything inside.

Hayden sat on the porch swing and it was clear he wasn't moving until I said something. I'm not sure what else to say. No one has ever tried so hard to keep me open before. Maybe if I had just started talking about other things, he would have realized that I didn't want to think about this. If it were, I wouldn't be able to hold back my emotions. I sit next to him. We never had a patio swing. Do you sit here often? ”

“Not as much as you think people should be doing with a patio swing.”

"I didn't know that I'd ever analyzed how many people with a homepage swing had to use it."

Well, I have and it's underutilized.

I smile. “What is a surfboard?”

He paused for a moment as if confused then nodded. "Yes." Yeah."

Seventeen questions.

"That's eighteen."

“No, because you didn't answer about the sports match. You just analyzed it. "

"true."

I lift my knees up the swing with me. “Do you like surfing?”

"I just surfed the other day."

"I knew. Bec said he saw you out there. "

Bec had told him that he saw me out there. I wondered if she told him how badly my friends treated her. How badly I treated him. I was so proud of myself that day because there was nothing. I didn't do anything for him, just for myself. I wondered if Hayden was starting to add all the negativity he had accumulated to me.

He didn't seem to think about the injustice presented to Bec when he said, “That's what made me think about the surfboard for the game. Very anticlimactic, I know. "

He looked at my mouth, and just when I thought he was thinking about other things, better things, things that would make me forget this night completely, she said, he lowered his brows with a sigh of frustration.

"What?"

You're smiling.

“That's a good thing, isn't it?”

"Gia's." He stopped and grabbed my hand. "It's not about your feelings."

I'm not crying, if that's what you're waiting for.

"What do you think?"

“I'm thinking of surfing. Now I'm thinking about the fact that your hands are warm. " I really like holding it.

"That's her. You're talking to my mom. "

"What?"

He didn't answer me, just stood up and went inside. He can't be serious. I didn't talk to his mother. But a few minutes later, Olivia came out and joined me on the porch swing.

I spoke first. "I'm sorry. Your son overreacted. I really just want to go home. ”

Okay, let me drive you.

"Thank you."

It seemed Hayden knew that his mother was the easiest person in the world to open up to because after I told him where I lived and even before we succeeded, he said, I raved about how the video affected my feelings. I am the most shallow person on earth, I have decided. I have absolutely no depth. And I don't know how to get it. My life is normal. My parents are together. They didn't beat me or anything. Death never takes anyone close to me. I did well in school. We are not poor, but we are not rich. I have never had a life-threatening illness or injury. I did not experience tragedy and therefore had no wisdom or insight to offer. "

Olivia laughs. Not the kind of mocking laughter but just a warm and gentle laugh that slightly lightened my mood. “Oh, Gia, darling. You will have enough trials to go through in life without expecting them to befall yourself. "

“But I was wrong. I am disabled because I have not experienced anything to teach me valuable life lessons that make me a better person. My brother caught it very well and easily. "

Olivia was silent and I'm sure it was because I was the cause of getting lost. He had no advice to offer a naive and shallow girl. But then he hummed a little and said, “We rarely find depth by looking within ourselves. Depth is found in what we can learn from the people and things around us. Everyone, everyone, has a story, Gia. As you learn those stories, you learn the experiences that fill you, which broadens your understanding. You add layers to your soul. "