The Incomplete Love
Never Will Fade

POV Qiara's

I stared at the side of Devan's bed that had been empty for six years. His passing left a void in my life.

Now there is only a cold pillow where he used to stretch his head and look at me with a friendly. We fell asleep hugging each other.

Tears are shed, as longing goes without edges. I hugged the cold pillow, tried to find Devan's scent there. No longer do I smell the typical sandalwood perfume. Or the smell of his favorite soap, bergamot.

“Honey, hope you're good there. Because I'm not okay here without you.”

The pillowcase is now wet with my tears.

I used to cry here, but only tears of happiness flowed. I don't know what good I ever did until God gave a Devan Donavy as my companion.

Tonight it was hard to close your eyes. Devan's shadow as long as it's alive is like a romantic movie playing in my head.

I decided to sit on the sofa by the window.

The sky was bright, the stars danced with their light, the full moon was shining gracefully, its white radiance pierced through the darkness of my room. The flower garden Devan made beside our room began to bud, yellowing leaves fell off, a sign of summer had passed.

I got a blanket around my shoulder. If Devan is still around, he'll sit with me. We will look at each other, hands are interlocked, smiles adorn the look, until finally our lips give each other warmth.

I stared at the two beautiful rings that were now coiled around my finger. The ring to the right was given by Devan, a beautiful object that has been a witness to our love for over twenty years.

I don't remember much of the fighting between us. If there is one, it will end beautifully. We know each other's likes and what doesn't. Understand each other perfectly. We think and move in harmony in love.

The kids say we are the real definition of bucin. My days are filled with happiness with him and the company of children we produce from the fruit of love.

The ring on the left has only been circular for two days on my ring finger. Thoriq made a romantic dinner and proposed to me for the third time.

Yeah, three times. First time before our marriage which ran aground decades ago, second in Edinburgh in front of the children, third in the rooftop of our prospective home which has been equipped with a beautiful garden by my former/prospective husband.

My children are very happy with my wedding plans. To them Uncle Thoriq was already like a second father.

We were never far away. Kala built an invisible rope that could not be broken. Although she was married to Devan, Thoriq never contacted me directly.

Kala with spontaneity and innocence always invite and his brother and sisters when video call. If Thoriq and Aira visit then Kala also transports her brother and sisters to stay overnight with her.

Thoriq has always been open to my children and Devan. He treats them like his own children.

Only with Abby and Zee does Thoriq limit them because they are not mahrams. But Abby befriends Aira and Zee is best friends with Malika, son of Hanna and Dicky.

The chaos that has occurred in the past is lost because of the friendship built accidentally by our children.

My feelings are mixed now. No one can understand. Including Mas Dhanu, Mba Marianne and my friends.

My friends are divided into two camps. Some support, others refuse. So too with my heart.

I am happy with my loneliness. With my sholih and sholihah children. Also, life is more than enough. Just think for yourself until the end of life, happy after all do not need to be married again.

One scary thing at this age of mine that is no longer young is loneliness in old age. When this body is no longer strong to visit my children often. Or when everyone is busy with their family.

Judith, who is now my best friend, often says that living alone is not so bad, but having a partner to spend the old days together is definitely much better.

The woman in her seventies is now in love with a man her age. They are thinking of getting married.

Perhaps for him, **** or farming is no longer the main thing. Have friends to sit down for tea together in the twilight while sharing stories, wake up in the morning to find the empty bed is now recharged, watch TV or dance together, more color than just satisfaction.

My gaze floated on the bookshelf in my bedroom and Devan. In the middle of our favorite books, I've seen six albums I've never seen before.

“Devan, is this a surprise from you? Why am I seeing it now?”

Kuraba strokes letters from gold embossed ink.

For A Love That Never Fades.

My smile expands to see my photos from baby to toddler on the first album. Then there's a childhood photo of Devan with frizzy hair. His smile never changed into an adult; sincere and warm.

On the second album I frowned because there was a photo of my wedding with Mas Thoriq. So did the photos when we were on vacation to the beach. I remember how happy we were that day.

On the same album I found a picture of her marriage to Stella. There are not many photos there either.

The third album was specially made for Liam and Kala. Two children who are not blood related but are closely bound as brothers, sisters, and friends. I smiled at the pictures of them as a child embracing each other.

From the small Liam looks melancholic while Kala with her jolly attitude. Until now the two are still exchanging news every day through video calls. Liam is the child I never gave birth to and the sister to Kala.

The fourth album is about Abby and Zee. Their presence makes the brothers more colorful. The men fight to protect their two sisters. Although not infrequently their ignorance and fad become the trigger for a fight with Abby and Zee.

The fifth album is about triplets. Remembering when Hayyan had failed to breath. I recited Al Fatihah in her tiny ears when suddenly Hayyan cried loudly. Now all three grow up to be handsome and handsome men.

Album by album I opened with smiles and tears of happiness. On the sixth album.

The front page has a photo of Devan's hand putting a wedding ring on my finger. The next page is a photo of us being joined in front of Ka’bah. Until in the middle yard, when Devan's hands began to take care of the disease, my hands clasped tightly.

I sip my tears to read the caption written there.

Thank you for the complete love you gave me and our family. I am grateful for the happiness and touch you gave me until my last moment. I had the best live a man could ask for.

There's still a blank page, fill it with your happiness, honey. Promise me, don't cry about my departure again.

Our love will never fade, Qiara Anjani.

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