The Light of Love for Seroja
CCUS 34: Home

PoV Seroja

A body that felt so weak, I brought it to run through the thick tonight. The night that had previously appeared so bright, he now cleared his face from the stars, and began to drop a drop of sky water, from his body.

I don't know why in every time I experience the pettiness of life like this, the rain always falls to the earth. As if representing tears that are shed will the pain of the heart that flows in each of these blood streams. The rain is getting heavier. The drops of water that were so cold as to suddenly ganged on my body, and increasingly felt up to the bone.

My body again decays under the torrent of sky water. The more I stay away from the apartment owned by Randy actually makes the crystals increasingly flowing. There was a slight unwillingness to let go of the man. But this time I had to back off. Back off for the happiness of the twins.

"Lord .. When I became a good woman, You gave me a calamity in the presence of that man. And now that my life has been ruined by that man's savagery and I have chosen to be the mistress of a married man, I have again found this kind of heartache. What do you want God? What do you want? Did You create me just to suffer like this? Why don't you give me one chance to taste what happiness is? I'm tired God, I'm tired!"

There is an old advice that I have heard, weep when it rains, when the water soaks the face that no one knows that you are crying. And shout there, the roar of his voice deafening so that no one knows that you are screaming.

And this time, I actually practiced that old piece of advice. I cried, cried out loud under the torrent of rain to unravel all the tightness in my chest. And certainly again to protest to my Lord the written way of life for me. Being a good person, being a bad person, in fact still throws my body into this pain.

I got back up to stand up. I set my foot back on this road with a giant step. Until my body rests on one of the bridges below there is a river that flows so fast. I saw there was only silence on the left right side. There is no earthly activity in this place.

I am tired, I am tired of the life God has chosen for me. If God is fair, where is justice for me? In fact, during the twenty-seven years I lived in this world, that happiness never came.

I climbed the steel frames on the side of the bridge. I guess there's no point in me continuing to live in this world. It's good if I just die, so that I can escape the twists and turns of life's suffering.

I lowered my face, seen below there the flow of this river flow is so swift. I'm sure if the river is deep and steep enough and with a single jump, I can definitely take my death. Yeah, I'm tired. I will take all this suffering.

I sighed deeply and I exhaled a little harshly. When this body I'm gonna take it to jump, all of a sudden...

Manda wants to pray that Seroja and mother can always be happy and will be able to enter into heaven.

I gasped as the stream down there refracted Alamanda's face. It was obvious that the little girl's face with subtle sounds was again seeping into my sense of hearing. The sincere words that came out of the little girl's lips seemed to pull back my common sense that had previously drifted somewhere. I was the one who was standing on the frame of this bridge, suddenly my footrest felt so weak. My body trembled violently when the shadow of Alamanda's face was again clearly visible in the head.

I went back down on the shoulder of this bridge, and sat down there. I folded my legs and buried my head between my knees. Again, I was back there.

The plain words of Alamanda really managed to tear my heart apart. If I die today after jumping from the bridge, will Alamanda's sincere prayers be answered by me entering into heaven? Is it that easy as heaven can I get only by the prayers of Alamanda? All this time I lived in a pit of sin like this. I don't know my God at all. And if I die now, then what about Alamanda herself and my mother? Who will be the foundation for them to continue their lives? Oh God .. I really don't know what to do. I am disappointed with this way of life, but there are still two figures who are still my responsibility. It would be too selfish if I chose a shortcut to end my life when they still needed me to sustain their lives.

I got back up. I wipe the water of the sky and tears that wet my face. I'm strengthening my footrest again, to go home where I should be.

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The rain slowly subsided. The sky water that was so heavy fell to the earth, now leaving only small spots but the cold still feels so piercing in the pores of the skin. Seroja's body was still soaked due to the heavy rain that washed it. With a giant step, Seroja down this small road, to return home to where he should be. It was still dark, for it was not yet time for the sun to ascend its throne. Coupled with the cloud cloud still clumped like sheep feathers, as if eroding the gentle radiance of the goddess of the night who now somehow hid her face where.

Seroja inhaled a deep breath of air when his feet had rested in front of the door where he lived. Doubtful, whether he would knock on this door so that he could immediately rest inside. Or choose to be silent so that he can only rest his body on the terrace.

A few minutes the woman weighed. But the pain in the bones of the face and also the intense dizziness that hit the nerves of the brain, making the woman lift a little hand to start knocking on this door leaf.

Once, twice, three beats there was no answer from the occupants of this house. Seroja thinks that maybe Sister Ana is sound in her sleep considering the time is still showing at three in the morning. Seroja. He turned around and began swinging his legs to stand at the end of the terrace.

Still fixed he stared at the speck of rain that was still falling soaked the earth. His heart was slightly tangled with one of these natural phenomena that was before his eyes. Although falling was sick, but they still dropped themselves to provide coolness in the arid earth.

Long time under the rain, the stomach that since yesterday afternoon was not filled, and the slap that bertubi Rosmala lay, making the woman's body more powerless.

Czech....

The door leaf opened and saw the figure of a woman who was still wrapped in mucus coming out of the house.

"Seroja Bak!"

Although this woman standing before him was in a position to back him, yet Ana knew exactly who this woman was. Seroja. He slowly approached Ana.

Both eyes Ana wide when looking at the face of Seroja affected by bruises.

"Astaghfirullahalazim... "

Seroja smiled bitterly in front of Ana. "Sus .. I'm tired.... "

Seroja's staggered body accompanied by the woman's eyelids slowly began to shut. And then the woman lost consciousness.

"Mbak Seroja's.....!!!"

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🍁🍁🍁🍁🍁