The Light of Love for Seroja
CCUS 38: Bias Light

Seroja leaned her back on the headboard of the bed while occasionally stroking her face which still felt so painful. The immortality of Rosmala really leaves a terrible pain. His facial bones felt numb, which could only make him grimace in pain. Lucky there was Ana. The nurse was so patient and painstakingly compressing her cheeks with ice cubes and applying pain relief cream and at the same time can fade the bruises.

"Mbak Seroja eat first yes, let the body mbak Seroja has a little energy."

Ana placed a tray containing a bowl of snow mushroom soup and also a glass of water on the nightstand. He grabbed the bowl and intended to feed Seroja. However, Seroja hurriedly prevented what the nun would do.

Seroja pulled both corners of his lips to make a crescent moon arch on the face that was still filled by the bruise. Not wanting to make Ana even more troubled, he intended to eat with his own hands. "Let me eat myself Sus. Sister Ana just rest. It must have been very tiring, since it took care of me, Alamanda and also mother."

Seroja began to put a mouthful of rice and vegetable soup into the mouth. Instantly make the mouth, esophagus and stomach spoiled by the sensation of pleasure presented by this vegetable.

Ana only laughed softly while shaking her head. "Absolutely not Ma'am. I actually feel happy because I can do this for mbak Seroja and family."

Ana's words seemed to attract Seroja's attention. He just remembered that after leaving and choosing to leave Randy's life, it means that there is no longer a support for his life. And that means from now on he will definitely find it difficult to pay Ana.

"Sus... "

Seroja seemed hesitant about what he had to say. He paused as if the words were stuck in his throat from something blocking his voice.

"Yes, how?"

Seroja put the spoon he held into the bowl. He linked his eyes to this young sister. At a glance, he sighed deeply and slowly he exhaled. "Sus, now there is no longer anyone who supports my life. That means I can't afford to hire Ana's sister anymore. L'm... "

"The Seroja don't need to feel bad. I will still help Seroja to take care of her mother and also Alamanda."

Seroja was surprised not to play listening to Ana's speech. Ana's words still sound ambiguous but it can be concluded that this young sister is sincere to help her.

"I mean Sister Ana?"

That sweet smile came back on Ana's lips. Hopefully what this plan is, can be the beginning of Seroja's life to be better.

"Bak Seroja need not worry too much about my salary. At this time you have to think about how to mbak Seroja could go back to life."

Seroja's face suddenly pias. His departure from Randy's life was sudden, and had not had time to think about what he should do after this.

"It looks like I should get back to work Sus. Maybe I can go back to the factory. Maybe I'm still welcome there."

"Mbak Seroja does not need to return to work in the factory if actually mbak Seroja has the ability to be able to try alone."

Seroja's forehead shriveled and both eyebrows re-locked. I don't understand what Ana meant. "Suster talk what? I really don't understand."

Again Ana commented a sweet smile on her lips. Seroja to be confused by the facial expression of Ana who did not give out the slightest expression of anxiety. "What if Seroja mbak starts to open a business of sewing clothes? I think, opening a sewing service is not contrary to the majors that Mbak took when school used to."

I don't know how many times Ana managed to make Seroja gasp and surprised half to death. Word by word that is written from the lips of this woman as if implied a plan for the future. The proposal from Ana did sound so promising, where she could try on her own feet. But how to start if he has no capital at all? Out of the apartment, he brought nothing. Just carrying his body and clothes attached to his body.

"Mbak Seroja need not worry if the burden of mind mbak Seroja is about capital."

Sister Ana Tetiba got up from her sitting position. He swung his footsteps to a plastic stacking container where he used to store his clothes. A brown envelope he took out from there and he came back to Seroja.

"I have a little savings and can use Mbak to open a business sewing clothes. Hope it helps."

Ana held out the brown envelope towards Seroja. While Seroja himself is still in unnerved mode. Not knowing whether to nod or shake your head.

Ana chuckled softly at Seroja who looked like she had lost half her life. He grabbed the woman's hand and forced her palm to accept this gift. "Use this Ma'am. I'm sure that Seroja can come back to life. And I am sure that Seroja mbak is always strong to play the role of Seroja mbak in this temporary life."

"Sus .. why did Sister Ana do all this? Why is Sister Ana so kind to me?"

I don't know what Seroja feels. Right now his heart felt so tight. Shortness not because it holds the burden of life that is so heavy but crowded because it is filled with a sense of haru. Haru due to Ana's presence is like a helper angel for her family.

Ana simply shook her head while smiling knots. "Come on, I don't know either. But what Seroja needs to believe is that this is all a help from God to mbak Seroja that He gave through my presence. So it was not me who helped Seroja, but God himself gave that help."

Without feeling the drops of clear crystals were freefalling from both eyes Seroja. Ana's words this time had really managed to break her heart. "Why does God still want to help me Sus and not let me die? And all this time I have never been His servant who feared?"

Ana smiled back. He felt that Seroja's heart was starting to open a little. He was sure that after this, Seroja would find the turning point.

"God gives help to mbak Seroja, maybe in return for the good that Seroja has done. While Allah does not let Seroja die first, it is all as a form of God's love. Give the opportunity to mbak Seroja in order to improve themselves to become a much better human being."

"But I never did any good Sus. Even just the sins and sins that I always do."

"When mbak Seroja saw there was a pebble in the middle of the road, then the reflex mbak Seroja removed the pebble, has become a recorded good. This is one of the forms of God's love for His servants. No matter how small the good we do, which may not even be visible, but God still records it as a good. And we never know that someday those little virtues will open the way of God to give His help for us."

Seroja lowered her face. There was a foreign feeling that suddenly lingered spoiled in his heart. What Ana said had completely torn down the hard walls of her heart.

"Does God still accept me if I go back to Him? Is it not too late if I want to get close to him?"

"As long as Seroja's heart is still beating. As long as Seroja's pulse is still throbbing. And as long as life is still in the body of Seroja, Allah will surely welcome 'back' mbak Seroja with full desire. Go home to our nature as humans. That we are only weak men who are in constant need of God's help and love."

Seroja looked up at his face. He stared fixedly at Ana's face with eyes full of shade. There was nothing he could say but tears that kept pouring down from the windows of his heart.

Do you still want to accept my repentance, Lord?

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