The Second Lead Fate
One Hundred Twenty

"When can you watch?"

Ambar sighed not wanting to answer. This was the fifth time he had been framed in an arranged marriage by Ratih and his parents.

"I'm still busy"

"You don't want to see me, do you?"

Oh, that's exactly it. Tumben men who this time can read the gelagat do not like.

"sorry. But I have no plans to like someone any time soon"

"Why? Don't you want to get married?"

Nope. Ambar did not want to marry. He's just not ready.

"Now. But not now"

"But you're two and seven, right?"

Whoa, shit. Why do these men bring age to their conversation.

"Yes"

"You want to have children, not better at a young age. Your face does not look young anymore"

Ambar is so upset. Why now did the man in front of her mention a physical problem with her. It was as if the man felt better than Ambar. He had been patient for two hours just to eat fried rice in the mall and this was what he got.

"I'm still young. I exercise and eat healthy. There's no reason for me to look old other than being stressed out by someone else" she says.

"Ohh. So because you have your own business, car, house continues to underestimate men? So great are you. Live alone forever if that" booed the man who didn't even pay for the steak he ate and left.

"Basic! What's wrong with living alone forever? Than having a husband. Hiii"

Ambar pays for the food and goes for a walk in the mall. An activity he had not done in a long time. He looked around at an accessories store and made field observations. This is what he did for a year after Feli left. Work, work and work. There was no time to rest for him. Because he would immediately think of Feli at rest., so, Ambar chose to keep racking his brain to get tired and sleep without dreaming anything. Honestly, he still continues to be haunted by feelings of guilt for Feli and his future child who did not have time to be born.

"Why fail again?" ask Ratih who came to his shop.

"Oh, you know that guy?"

"Yes. He was an only child; from a rich family. Got a paper mill in Pasuruan"

Whahuh? Have a paper factory? Looks like Ratih was tricked. It was impossible for a great businessman to dare to say that to a woman he did not know.

"Udah. I don't want to think about that anymore"

"When do you want to get married? Mother is the same father who told me to continue. They are silent but still wish you could get married and have children. Thank them grandchildren"

Does he not want a marriage? of course I want to. But, can he be happy after causing one's life to suffer like that? Feels not.

"Udah. don't bring the mother with the Father"

"You are!!! you still feel guilty about the same thing you did in Bali? it's not your fault, Mbar. The wrong girl can't take care of herself"

"Train!!"

Now Ambar is angry. He didn't want anyone to mention Feli in front of him. Day ... .

"Yes it's up to you. want to keep a virgin until old. Wedding business but do not want to marry.it is up to you ah. Bodo" said Ratih then left Ambar alone in his room. Virgin to old, it was not a punishment for her. He doesn't mind being old and alone. But ... Her mother and father? What should he do for his parents? A[a did he have to get married and do all that for the sake of both his parents?

Adhi stood in front of the window and realized her appearance was indeed that of a beggar. With his appearance and smell, surely many would have thought he was like that. But ... why does he improve his appearance? He sat down and went back to look for the liquor bottle.

'none. Everything's empty. Shit.he should have bought it before going home' he told himself and found a paper tear in his coat pocket.

"Come again for hot soup and sweet tea tomorrow"

Adhi could only look at the paper tear for a long time. Wh why? Why would that person give him a hot soup that keeps his body warm? His wife was lying on the ground in the cold.

Not knowing what the reason is, several times Adhi departs from home to buy liquor.His legs always lead to a place he knows. this time he came in the morning and did not see any activity inside the building. They won't have soup this early. He wants melanmgkah gone and then a call restrains him.

"Mas, have you come?"

Adhi turned to the same man that night. That guy was here this early? thought.

"Now there's no soup. But there's sweet tea, will you?" bargain the man then pulled Adhi into the mosque.

Adhi thought in the mosque there was no activity, it turned out he was wrong. There were many men and women who were gathering and singing. But not the singing he was singing. It is more like a prayer because it is done in the unfamiliar Arabic.

"It's morning there's a tadarusan, reading the Quran.so if the tea is sweet the same little cake there. Ayok mas"

Adhi was dragged into a corner and then served a large glass of tea that is still steaming. And also some cakes that he knew were not in London. He had seen it in Indonesia.

"Let's eat, this cucur, cake bowl same risoles. Made by visitors to the mosque also make the morning gaze" said the man named Heri.

"Hot" said Adhi then sipped the sweet tea in a large glass. The warmth immediately seeped into his body, letting him feel his leg muscles melt for a few seconds. He lowered the glass and began to eat the white cupcake in front of him. Same, still warm. His mouth that was not used to chewing food all this time started to feel dry and he needed a drink. But he forgot that the tea was still hot. So Adhi coughed and spewed the cake in his mouth.

"Emang hot Mas. Slow down" said Hari, cleaning up his vomit marks.

"Why?"

"What"

"Why are you like this?"

"I?"

"Why are you good to me?" tanya Adhi then looked at Hari's shady eyes.

"I'm not good. Same with mas, I was also a drinker before meeting my wife in London"

"Blank egg"

"Lho, really this. I used to work on the ship, if I did not drink it did not feel strong. But my wife guided me back to God's way"

"I sin a lot" I Adhi then looked down embarrassed.

"All people sin a lot. No one is clean from sin. But .. if you already know that, do not add sin again. Cepet-cepet do good, let's not add money"

"Slow for me"

"Dead, that's the limit.if mas is still alive, it's not too late"

"I killed my wife and my son. I ... "

Adhi could not speak any longer. He cried, shedding tears that he had stored for an entire year. In front of strangers who don't even know him.