THE STAIN OF THE PAST
Chapter 51. Letting you go, It's Not Easy.

Being left behind by someone dear does make life feel messy and feel like it is useless. Of course grieving can be done, but it should not be protracted. You must go back to living your life well again, and show that you can rise up and take everything for granted. Of course this is not only good for you, but also can give you new happiness

The loneliest moment in a person's life is when they see their entire world crumbling, and all they can do is stare blankly.

***

The sky looks dark. Cloudy cloud cloud. None of the stars showed themselves what else the moon was. It all looked dark like Kania's heart at the moment. Although the sky is cloudy there is no intention of Kania to leave the park until the sky completely spills the water.

Suddenly the sky was crying. Rainwater falls soaked the body of Kania who was still at home sitting on a park bench. As if it was not affected by the current situation.

Instead of getting up from her seat, Kania even seemed to enjoy the rain that was pouring down on her body. Kania's cries broke again.

"Rain water, wet this body. Wash the wounds of my heart. I wanted to cry under the rain so that no one would know that I was sad. Give my regards to the rain. About my endless love. Until time has no power to wait. Through the rain I leave this heart in the hope that you can also feel it.''

Kania felt her body start to freeze. However, there was also no desire from him to leave that place.

"To the cloudy sky, I ask that the rain immediately bathe the troubled souls, washing away the rubbish in the troubled heart. When love gives no meaning anymore, it only gives a heart-wrenching wound, as if it were night, where the rain never stops, but all this I have to face because the journey of life will never stop."

Lani wiped the rain and tears that soaked her cheeks. Anggara who was looking for the existence of Kania finally saw its existence. Anggara was surprised to see Kania who remained sitting under the rain.

"I went through this journey, where I was alone at night, facing the rain that never stopped, crying no one cared. However, I need to stay focused on what I should be looking for. The rain has a reason why it fell, but I have no reason why my heart fell on you. I'm tired of getting tired of being your rain connoisseur. Can you lead me this time to your happy rainbow altar?"

When Anggara arrived in front of Kania coincided with the woman who fell unconscious from the cold. Kania is not strong with cold air.

Anggara immediately carried Kania, took him into the car and fled to the hospital. Anggara drives a car at high speed.

Arriving at the hospital, Anggara carried Kania into the IGD room. Kania is being treated by a doctor at this time.

***

Kania woke up in the middle of the night and looked throughout the room.But it was realized that he was currently in the hospital. Kania felt her whole body ache and felt hot. It must be because of her raining self earlier, Kania thought.

"Oh my God, how many more wounds do I have to get, how many more obstacles do I have to go through, how many more tears do I have to shed until I can smile again? When will all this sadness pass? Sometimes I think of my past. Reminds me of all the memories I wish I hadn't told you about. Sometimes I think about quitting. I was destined not to have a happy life. Pain is probably the thing I will always know" Kania murmured in her heart.

The crying broke again. No matter how hard he tried, the pain was still felt. Giving love to those we love is not as easy as saying.

Anggara woke up when he heard the sound of crying. From the events he saw, Angga was convinced that there was a connection between Kania and Athalla.

Anggara approached Kania's bed and saw the woman sobbing. Anggara sat beside Kania's bed.

"I don't know the extent of your relationship with Athalla. However, me and everyone who noticed last night's events can definitely conclude that you and Athalla have something." Anggara stopped his speech.

Kania stared softly at Anggara. He needed a place to share his grief. Anggara understands what Kania is currently thinking.

"Cry as much as you can if it reduces your pain. If you need a friend to share your story, I'm ready to hear it" Anggara said.

"Sir Angga, do I not deserve to be happy?" asked Kania in a soft voice.

"Of course yes. I think this is the right of all human beings from every point of view. Either good or bad. And I think the phrase, "I don't deserve to be happy" is often pronounced like a sentence to express disappointment over the misfortune that has been or is being obtained. Try to be a little selfish. Prioritize our happiness. Don't just think about people's pleasures."

"From childhood I have felt the bitterness of life. Until now, I have not felt happiness. Sometimes I think, is it because my sin is too great that God has not given me happiness."

"God will never give you more trials than you can. God will never punish a man who repents from his sins."

Anggara suddenly clasped Kania's hand, at first the woman wanted to pull him, but was afraid it would offend Anggara.

"Listen Kania, I've read this quote. And I think it suits you. It is perfectly normal for us to be sinful and full of flaws. The problem is when we stop regretting our sins and do not repent to God." Anggara paused his speech and looked at Kania fixedly. He took a breath before continuing his words.

"'The act of sin that makes you sad and sorry is favored by God rather than good practice that makes you boast.Your sins may be as big as a ship, never forget that the grace of God is greater than the sea. Satan does not win when you sin, but he wins when you think that God will not forgive you. That's advice I often hear from an ustad" Anggara said.

***

Elsewhere, it appears that Athalla and Syafa are talking seriously together. I don't know what they're both talking about.

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