The Traces of Destiny
Duda, Father of a Son

With the dim light on my desk, the newspaper clippings looked older than they should have been. Despite the yellowing and wrinkles, strangely they looked so heavy, as if bearing the weight of my life at that moment.

There are simple truths in life, and this is one of them: When a person dies at a young and tragic age, the story is always eye-catching, and it is one of them, especially in a small town where everyone seems to know each other. When Maudy died, it made headlines, and sobs were heard in kitchens across Gajakarta when the newspaper opened the next morning.

There are large articles and three photos: one from the accident scene and two others featuring Maudy as the beautiful woman she once was. Another longer article came up a few days later with more information, and at first, everyone believed that the case would be solved.

However, about a month after the event, another article appeared on the front page announcing that the local government had offered a reward for information about the case. Trust in the settlement of the case is beginning to fade. As usual in the news, people's interest is also fading. Maudy is increasingly rarely mentioned in everyday speech.

The next article appeared, this time on page three, replaying what had been preached before and asking anyone who knew something to step forward. After that, there was no more news.

Articles always follow the same pattern, providing definite information and facts in a simple and straightforward manner. On a warm laron season night in 2005, Maudy, the wife of a camat and mother of a young boy, goes for a run when it gets dark. Two witnesses saw him running along the Kartini Merdeka road minutes after he left home, and the two were interviewed by a highway patrol and covered by PAW Patrol a television crime news show aired on Indosira TV .

Other articles related to this event. What the articles did not reveal, however, was how Garin spent a few hours before learning what had happened.

Those hours, I'm sure, will always haunt Garin, because those are the last hours of normal life he knows. Garin came out of the driveway, after doing what Maudy had asked, and entered the house. She goes around in the kitchen, spends time with Raka, their son, and ends up putting him to sleep.

Maybe he checked the clock a few times after Maudy was supposed to get home. At first, she may suspect Maudy stopped by to visit someone she knows, something she sometimes does, and she may blame herself for imagining the worst-case scenario of their quarrel outcome.

Time passed, minutes became hours, and Maudy did not come home. That was when Garin was worried enough to contact someone. He asks the man to check Maudy's usual route, as their son, Raka, is already asleep and he is afraid to leave her alone. The man was glad to do so.

An hour later, after talking to everyone he contacted, Garin saw the man and Sutrisno standing at the door. Sutrisno takes his wife, Nia, to look after Raka. Sutrisno spoke softly, "You'd better come along."

"There was an accident."

From the look on his face, I'm sure Garin knows exactly what Sutrisno is trying to convey. The rest of the night was blurred.

What Garin or Sutrisno did not know at the time, and what will be revealed through later investigations, is that there were no eyewitnesses to the accident that killed Maudy. No one will come forward with a confession. Over the next month, highway patrols interviewed everyone in the area, looking for evidence or clues, tracing bushes, investigating the scene, visiting local stalls and restaurants, and ask customers if they saw anything around that time.

Eventually, the investigative files became thick and heavy, recording everything they found, which in the end was nothing more than what Garin knew when he saw Sutrisno on the veranda.

Garin Antonio became a widower in his thirties.

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In the car, memories of Maudy's death slowly return to Garin's mind, such as when he was driving along Kartini Merdeka before lunch with Sutrisno.

However, this time, rather than constantly spinning around in the head, from the days where she and Maudy enjoyed time together to their moments of discord, those memories were replaced by his attention to Raka, his son, and Saraswati.

In the silence of the car, time felt long until Raka finally became anxious. As Raka waits anxiously for her father to speak, she begins to ponder about the possible punishment her father might face, which is growing more dire.

He began to open and close the zipper of his backpack many times, until Garin finally put his hand on his son's hand to stop it. Even so, his father remained silent.

"Dad, am I in trouble?"

"NO."

"But you had a long conversation with Ms. Saras."

"We have a lot to talk about."

Raka felt trembling as she continued, "Is this about school?"

Garin nodded and Raka looked at her backpack again, feeling nauseous and hoping to get busy with something. "I'm in big trouble" he murmured.

A few minutes later, they were sitting on a bench inside the MaXsuwe booth, Raka was eating ice cream while feeling her father's arm hug her.

They had been talking for about ten minutes, and at least according to Raka, it wasn't as bad as she had imagined. His father was not angry, did not threaten, and most importantly, did not give punishment.

Instead, Garin simply asked Raka about her previous school experience and how the teachers treated her. Raka honestly explained that she was embarrassed to ask if anything was incomprehensible.

They talked about the problems Raka faced, many of which Saraswati had discussed. Raka promised to try harder from now on. Garin also promised to help Raka and planned to help her catch up. Overall, Raka felt lucky.

However, what he did not realize was that his father had not finished speaking.

"But because you're so far behind," continued Garin gently, "you have to stay in Ms. Saras's class a few days a week after school hours, so she can help you."

Those words took a while to digest, and Raka finally looked at her father with begging eyes.

"After school?"

Garin nodded. "He thinks you'll catch up faster that way."

Suddenly, Raka felt a loss of breath. "I thought Dad would help me."

"Yes, but I can't do it every day. Dad still has to work. Ms. Saras is willing to help you."

"But, after school?" Raka asked again, her voice full of hope.

"Three days of the week."

"But, Father..." Raka felt confused and anxious.