The Traces of Destiny
Curious

"Es cincau from the canteen mbak Icha!"

Nursy exclaimed merrily, putting two glasses of cold lizard on the table. "Well, take this.. Another delicacy after soto balung is cold drinks. And if you have a question about someone, don't hesitate to ask."

"OK," said Saras easily.

"I know what it's like to be a newcomer to the city and feel like you're outside and looking in."

"I'm sure you know."

For a moment, the two said nothing. Saras enjoyed the snail running around in his mouth. Cincau canteen mbak Icha is amazing, he praised in his heart.

"So..." Nursy held out the syllable with hope.

"So..." Saras replied, knowing exactly what Nursy wanted.

Once again there is a pause.

"So... do you have any questions about.... someone?" Nursy asked the full question.

"Mmmm..." Saras said, as if he was thinking about it. Then, shaking his head, he replied: "There's no."

"Oh," said Nursy, unable to hide his disappointment.

Saras smiled at Nursy's delicate efforts.

"Well, there's probably one person I want to ask you about" he said.

Nursy's face was shining. "Now we're talking" he said quickly. "What do you want to know?"

"Well, I've been curious about..." Saras paused, then Nursy looked at her like a child opening a birthday present.

"Yes?" he whispered, sounding almost desperate.

"Look..." Saras looked around. "What can you tell me about... Uyul Mang?"

Nursy surprised. "Mang Uyul... the janitor?"

Saras. "He's kind of handsome."

"He was sixty-eight years old" said Nursy, fascinated.

"Is he married?" ask Saras.

"He's been married for fifty years. He's got eleven kids."

"Oh, that's a pity" Saras said.

Nursy looked at him with wide eyes, and Saras shook his head. After a moment, he turned his head and met Nursy's eyes sparkling.

"OK, I now know about the Uyul mang, now it's just Garin Antonio, so.... What can you tell me about him?"

It took a while for those words to blaspheme, and Nursy examined Saras carefully. "You've got enlightenment."

Saras blinked.

"okay. okay.... Now, it's time we talk about Garin Antonio... I hear you two meet often. Not just after school, but also on weekends."

"You know I was working with Raka for special guidance, and the boy asked me to come to watch him play football."

"What's more than that?" Search Nursy.

When Saras did not immediately reply, Nursy continued, this time with a more serious inside view.

"All right. about Garin. His wife died a few years ago in a tragic accident. That's the saddest thing I've ever seen. Garin loved him so much, after the death of his wife, he really wasn't like himself. Maudy was her first love in high school." Nursy paused for a moment and put his drinking glass to the side. "The guy ran away."

Saras. He had heard these pieces of stories before.

"That hit him so badly. Especially as a camat. He sees it as his own failure. Not only that, the case that befell Maudy can be said there is no solution, but he still blames himself. He kinda shut himself off from the world after that."

"I know this sounds horrible, and the story is. But lately, she's getting more and more like her old self, as if she's starting to come out of her cocoon again, and I can't tell you how happy I am to see that. He really is an amazing man. He's kind, patient, he'll go to the end of the world for his friend. And best of all, she loves her son." Nursy paused for a moment.

"But?" finally Saras asked.

Nursy shrugged his shoulders. "Neither but if it is about his person. He was a good guy and didn't say that just because I liked him. I've known him a long time. He's one of those rare men who, when he loves, he does it with all his heart."

Saras. "That's rare" he said seriously.

"really. And try to remember all this if you and Garin get close."

"Why?"

Nursy. "Because," he said simply, "I would be very disappointed to see him hurt again."

Later that day, after a lunch conversation Saras found himself thinking about Garin continuously. Touching his heart knew that Garin had people in his life who cared so much about him. Not family, but friends.

He knew that Garin wanted to ask him out after Raka's football game. The way he spoke and kept coming closer made his intentions clear.

But in the end, he did not ask exactly.

At the time, it seemed funny. He laughed as he left the man in the parking lot - but he didn't laugh at Garin as much as he laughed at how difficult Garin was to make him look as silly as he did.

He tried, God knows he tried, but somehow he couldn't say the right words. And now, after talking to Nursy, Saras felt understood.

Garin didn't ask her out because she didn't know how to do it.

Throughout his adult life, he may never have had to ask a woman out on a date, his wife was his first love in high school.

It was like Saras had never known someone like that in the city of Cijengkol, someone in their thirties who had never asked someone to have dinner or watch a movie. Strangely, she felt it was adorable.

And maybe, she admitted to herself, she felt it was a little comforting, because she wasn't so different. Slightly stiff.

Saras began dating Aldi when he was twenty-two, they divorced when he was almost twenty-seven.

Since then she has only gone on dates a few times, most recently with a guy who was a bit too nimble. When the man cancels his seriousness, Saras cept learns that he is just not ready.

And maybe it is, but spending time with Garin Antonio recently reminded him that these past two years have been lonely years.

In class, it is usually easy to avoid such thoughts. Standing in front of the blackboard, he could focus entirely on the students, little faces staring at him with great admiration. He came to think of them as his children, and he wanted to make sure they had every chance of success in the world.

Today, however, she finds herself distracted uncharacteristically, and when the last bell rings, she stays outside, until Raka finally comes to her. He took Saras' hand.

"Hi Ma'am, are you all right?" ask Raka.

"I'm good" said Saras mindlessly.

"You look bad, Mom."

Saras smiled and muttered. "Handsome....."

"Huh?"

"It's nothing. Come on, you ready to start?"

"Did Mom have a cake?"

"Of course."

"Then let's start, then" said Raka.

As they walk into the classroom, Saras sees that Raka will not let go of her hand. When he squeezed it, he squeezed it back, his little hand completely protected by Saras's hand.

That was almost enough to make his life feel meaningful.

Almost.