The Way of Love for the Doctor
SEASON 1 Part 21. The Real Me

"Your hand still hurts." Vincent is leaning towards me.

"No, I think everything's gonna be okay. Andreas also said there was nothing to worry about. The police have asked me to come in for a check the day after tomorrow. They arrested Hera yesterday.."

"Jalani, just talk as you know. If you don't know or hesitate, you can say you don't know. It's criminal, you can't get caught in the whirlpool of the case. Give information as you know, not pretend to know for the sake of dropping or assuming. Later in the trial the prosecutor and the suspect's legal counsel will pressure you with something like this. So all you know is that you file an audit, the committee imposes sanctions, you don't get involved in one word as an observer in the hearing and you end up being stabbed. That's all..."

"Yes, understand the lawyer...." I smiled at him. And he took my hand and grabbed her. Our first hand.

It's been a long time since someone last held my hand. I don't think I can experience it anymore, just grateful for what I'm getting now. God gave me someone beside me today. This happy soaring feeling, sometimes I fear that he will disappear again, whether if something happens to change with sadness.

"What are you thinking."

"Nothing..." I leaned over her shoulder, last I pretended to be drunk and thought her shoulder was a pleasant temporary backrest. Now I can let myself smell the perfume left on her shirt. Now I have someone beside me. "I'm just glad I could lean on."

"It's been hard for you lately."

"I'm used to it..."

"You can ask me for whatever help you need." Those are words of relief for all women. Have someone to ask for help.

"Why are you so good to me. Sandra said I had nothing to offer. Even I'm the ugliest among your girlfriends." He smiled at my question.

"You don't have to hear that shit. He just wants to bring you down..."

"Dok, does your ex-wife hate you?" He's lookingat me.

"I think yes. I made her life chaotic and unhappy. But it would be even more messy if we didn't get divorced. I once felt very guilty about him. After that I always keep my distance from close relationships with anyone. Now that she has her own family, I'm glad she has her own happiness I don't know. The fact that he also knew after his divorce I was alone might explain to him all my words that might seem absurd..."

"What doesn't make sense."

"That I chose to let go of her to make her happy. That is absurd. At that time I was completely unprepared for his demands for my time, I felt there was still a lot to pursue."

"Why do you always feel there's still so much you need to pursue."

"To support everyone. Same asyou. I was born in Bali, from an accident last night. My biological father didn't want me to exist, he just played love with my mother and then he left Bali. My mother's family is happy to consider me a part of them, my mother worked hard to raise me, even though I have no father, I have no lack of affection. I always felt like I was the debt payer of my biological father who never existed. That my mother's family is a debt in my life. I'm dying in my studies, a career to pay my life's debts, make them proud, every look at my mom's proud smile I feel I can repay that debt. I always had a mind I had to be stronger to be able to support them, to pay for everything. I don't know why I feel that way. But I don't think that's a bad motivation..." He took a deep breath, so I knew exactly who he was.

"Maybe things got easier when Mom met my stepdad now. I saw Mom being happier. My worries had eased even more, but when I considered him my stepfather was family and could accept it because he was happy for Mom, I thought further to be able to support them as much as I could. It was the habit that shaped my hard work, making me able to occupy this position in youth. There was always an urge to do more, achieve more, and as a result I sacrificed my married life. And somehow seeing you I know you're no different than my mom, I know you're always trying to endure everything, pretending everything's okay..."

"You never met your biological father..."

"No, I don't think he even knows I exist." She laughs. "I was raised entirely by my mother and her extended family. And I feel like it's my greatest blessing..."

"Only you know. Only the people closest to me know who I am, even Sandra never knows, because we're just friends. Because I think you're important I tell you who I really am."

"Thank you for being so open to me."

"Your ex-husband where is he?"

"Where I know, I don't take care of the ex. I don't want to know the story of his life." I answered him with a sniffle. I don't think I ever forgive just forgetting. Vincent saw my still bitter reaction.

"He never tried to call you again."

"Right, but I don't think there's any need for him to call me."

"He's married again?" I didn't answer.

"I don't know. I just want to forget about him, don't ask him again. Every time I remember about him I just remember it seems like I was naive once. He treated me as porcelain, adored me as if I were the only one, but elsewhere he bought a lot of other porcelain to satisfy his ego."

"Who's your ex-husband?"

"Why do you want to know?"

"I just want to know."

"Simon Isaac." He must have known because the family was playing in the pharmaceutical field, a field that still had something to do.

"Simon Isaac... You mean the family that owns the pharmaceutical business and the big lab."

"Yes." Yeah."

"Ohh..."

"Can we talk about the ex." I want to change the conversation. I really don't want to talk about my ex.

"Sorrys. Alright."

After that he turned the car into a residential area I guess. Uhh, I started asking. We don't want to eat, eat where this is housing...

"Why did we get into housing?"