When the Heart Speaks
Chapter 36 Worrying

The days changed, the more accustomed to living abroad made me feel the time passed, monotonous activities I no longer felt a burden, all just flowed, not even between Me and Dion,, so much so,,

Although I am not sure of my heart, I try to open my heart slowly.

I believe the old saying, love will grow because it gets used to it.

Maybe not yet, but maybe if one day meet the love will be present.

Almost at the end of the year, that means before long I will end my contract in this city, there are worries that come to ensnare my heart, between going home and surviving between mind and love..between wishful thinking and longing.all incised a sense that I could not understand with sanity, yes.

I miss my parents, I miss my homeland, I miss my comfort home, but what about my dreams? wasn't my initial intention to continue my education to university, but it seemed like everything was just a dream.

Almost 2 years I've been here, there's no sign of me being able to realize that goal.

"Ahh..already forget the university..forget the faculty of literature..forget the ideals.!!"

I took a deep breath, then threw my body on the bed, in the shadow of my mama's sad face growing older, they really expected me to return in their midst like I used to,remember last night when mom called with her prank saying they missed me.

I covered my face with my palm and rubbed slowly, then moved to the bathroom, today I work the night shift.

After the magrib, I and dozens of other employees went to work.

"Din, how do you call or go home??"

Beautiful questions break my daydreams in angkot.

"Eh.kayak her go home deh Ndah, kangen parents."

Answer me slowly.

"You don't love the career, the news that will be connected will be in the promotion loh Din"

"Biarin deh Ndah.maybe my fortune is not here"

"Once you thought that was it"

"You??"

"It still seems to be here Din"

"Okay, success is Ndah..."

The freight stop in front of the company gate.

I walked a little fast, not because I was late but I just wanted to relax in the rest room before the business hours came in.

Just sitting down, my phone vibrated, I know.this must be a message from Dion, as usual Dion will send a sweet message just say good night and good work, but I was wrong, turns out it wasn't Dion,,,, it was,,

A new number.

"Good night Din, busy again??"

Still with a curious feeling I retorted,

"*Sorry, who is it??"

"Namex*"

The short reply was enough to make me feel like I was being stung by a high-voltage power supply.

Instantly the shadows and memories of the past that once existed returned flashed in my mind.

The pain and wounds that once existed were like they were reopened

What was??why did he show up again, that question filled my head.

I chose not to continue replying to messages, and immediately entered my work area with a heart that I somehow described.

***

Almost midnight, before the dinner break, all who will finish the contract are collected to ask for certainty about going home or re-connecting the employment contract.

With great steadiness and confidence, I told my superiors that I chose to terminate my employment contract, which means, next month I can go home.

After dinner, I chose to rest in the rest room, while playing my phone, no matter how long I flipped between my fingers a call came in,and I gasped when I saw that row of numbers was the number that sent me the message.

"Ari???"

Instantly, my body was sweating my chest was pounding, between the hate and longing that had trapped me.

With a trembling finger, I press the answer button.

There was a greeting sound from across there, a soft subtle sound that until this moment I still memorized,

"Hey....Din's.."

"Ha..Hi.."

Answer me nervously.

"Against the mallem?"

"Ehm..iya.eh..ehmmm..sorry, what's the matter with Ri calling?"

"Oh.that,, ehm..does not really, just want to call?am I interrupting?"

"Not really.it's just weird"

"In fact, I miss you..!"

"Huh..kangen??how can you?.You're not talking wrong again right??"

"Yes, no, ehmm...m still welcome, right?or is it that you belong to someone else??"

Being asked such a question, it felt like a pain that I didn't know where the wound was.

"Sorry Ri. I want to work, it's already yes.bye"

I turned off my phone, without waiting for an answer from Ari first.

I hugged my knees in the corner of the room, drowned my face, closed my eyes trying to find the origin of the pain that had just felt slashing.

There is a longing that deliberately plays with my heart, but I get lost when I dive deeper, a longing that is no longer appropriate I think, a longing that I should be hempas.

Suddenly remembered all that I had been through where Ari was the one who was always there for me at that time, the one who was always ready with all my will, the one who understood my hard head.

And is it possible, Ari's cheating at that time because of my mistake?

"Ah...no!!, there is no justification whatsoever for an affair!!"

I shook my head.

I looked back at my phone in my hand, explored the photo collection gallery, and my finger stopped at a portrait of the man I thought was destiny.

"Dion"

I said in my heart.

"What, I'll call first?"

My inner.

"Ahh.deh, not even ge-er"

My grouse in my heart.

Like there was contact, suddenly the phone I just got into my pocket vibrated,

Dion sent me a message.

"**.UP.Dek..sorry yes I have no news, so his hape died, I continued to fall asleep"

"Yes, not papa*"

I've never been stale, and always been short when I sent Dion, or replied to Dion's message, maybe I'm used to it when I've been in a relationship with Ari for years.

***

My office wall clock was set at 6am, our skilled hands as operators were moving faster,it was also seen that some operators were getting busy pacing each other in pursuit of targets that had not been achieved, while only an hour left, boisterous voices began to be heard from the end of the line, screaming-crying encouraging, and the voice of the,routine view at the time of the return hour, things I might miss when I am no longer in their ranks.

There is a sad hanging, when I remember I will finish the contract, leaving friends, friends and beloved machines that 2 years this became my true friend during the night.

Connect***