Because I'M Father
Mine

I fell down with the pain that had been raining down on me. If I wasn't a man I'd been crying from earlier, it's just that I still have some shame. Especially now that there are my in-laws. Yes, the parents of my late wife came, they came alone. I never even expected them to come. Really am.

Because what? Because they came to take my three monsters. Obviously they were mine, I raised them alone, and they said they wanted to take? Take what? What are their rights? There aren't.

"We'll take the twins home, and maybe stay the night. I hope they stay at home, so they don't have to come here anymore" said my mother-in-law.

Every breath I take, I feel pain and tightness, thinking of my wife. Even today, my late wife's family still blames me for her daughter's death. Blamed me for marrying her. Blaming me for everything, especially for his death caused by me.

Nah! If I knew my wife was going to die from having three twins pregnant in her womb, I would never marry her, then was it all my fault? Why is it like I'm wrong here, like I made her die, and died giving birth to my son.

Do they not think that I am suffering. Not accept with her death? Didn't you think about me once, how I lived after his disappearance? Did I expect all that? Obviously not, what I want is to be with him raising our son, not to be left alone with the mistakes that happened.

My heart still hurts even when I remember how his family dumped me, when I was so devastated. They even blame me for everything. At that time the world was like stepping on me which was already trampled. Are they not satisfied after doing so. Even they didn't help me at all in taking care of the three monsters until I almost went crazy back then, and now they have come to take what wasn't their right? Where have they been all this time? When I even needed them, they dumped me, even I remember their hurtful words to me.

"Go! And take care of your own children, they are not my daughters! They're just your kids!"

I smiled wryly remembering that remark. Now, I straightened my bowed head earlier, venturing to look at the two old men.

"They're my kids. Only son. Don't you know us?" my words are full of emphasis.

They thought a little, I can make sure they remember what they said first. "You still remember that?" ask Mother-in-law.

You think I can forget everything? All I can forget is how many times I have eaten.

I smile. "I will never forget what my heart remembers!" i'm firm.

"Let me remind you! That my daughter's blood is flowing within them. We still have rights over them" he said, making me want to strangle him immediately.

It is futile to talk to a person who has no shame or awareness. Aren't they ashamed of licking the spit they threw away? Don't they know that I'm struggling to raise the twins alone? Once they're big, they're just gonna take it?

Hey whoever is reading, try asking these two guys! ARE THEY SANE?

"Which blood do you mean? Is not only my blood flowing within them?" I feel so innocent.

"Remember! At least you returned the favor with the death of my daughter, she died giving birth to her child" said the father-in-law.

Every word they say makes me laugh in my heart.

"When did the twins become your daughters? Didn't you say that the twins are just my children? Don't lick your own spit, can't spilled coffee not be drunk again?" langku.

My jaw has hardened, emotions have begun to peak to make my veins almost out of line.

"When did the twins become your daughters? Didn't you say that the twins are just my children? Don't lick your own spit, can't spilled coffee not be drunk again?" langku.

My jaw has hardened, emotions have begun to peak to make my veins almost out of line.

"Remember, Al, you wouldn't have twins without my daughter. You should thank me for sacrificing my daughter for them" said the mother-in-law so confidently.

I smiled again, their words circled like oreo, then when will it be dipped in milk if it continues to play? Sucks.

I told you, until now they still blame me, like I'm the one who's wrong.

"So you asked the twins to make amends? That so?" many ensure.

"Of course!" answered Mother so arrogantly.

"Then, you will make up for my time, my energy, my tears, my sweat, and my spent youth to care for them with what?" ask me with a high tone.

"Then let me make amends by spending my life taking care of them!" I said firmly and they were immediately confused.

Maybe they've been wrong, so think before talking to a freak. I'm not talking that way because I admit that I'm guilty. Yes, even though I blame myself for her passing.

"I think your task is done, and let us take care of them" said my mother-in-law immediately stood up to the three monsters.

I really don't want my son to be touched. Is it not he himself who does not want them? Why is it that the twins belong to them now? Don't they have faces? I took care of them with my sweat, all my sacrifices were in vain if they took the twins from me.

"Come, to Grandma's house, we'll meet mama there," the old woman persuaded.

"Why? Mama's at Grandma's? Brother, let's go there!" vio exclaimed so innocently.

He's lying to you, son.

"Benal, Papa, I want to go to Grandma's house" said Zio happily.

Why don't I ban it? Because I'm sure they won't be there. The second—because I'm angry right now. Just one word would make it fatal. If I mispronounce, things will get harder, and the three monsters won't understand if I ban them. They couldn't understand this state, there was no choice but for me to let my three sons go with that magical Granny.

"Then, let's go now?" said Dad took Nio and Vio.

"Come on!" they cried so happy.

I can't possibly prevent them, but I can't let them be taken at will even by their Grandmother.

"I'll make them forget you" said Mother.

My emotions were mounting, I never thought they would come. The one who had even snatched away all my laughter, until I found out where my laughter was, and they came back to take my laughter again? It's not fair to me.

"Aragh!" I shouted after they left.

Is God punishing me? Then, what pain two years ago was not a punishment? If Shelin and my parents knew, they would be very angry. I just hope that the three monsters will ask to come back here, and come back to me without having to argue long with those two people.

I just don't want to be like I'm the truest, because I also feel guilty after 'he' died. I didn't even live normally at that time.

For over a year I had to adapt to the three monsters that were still very small. Even I never get along after having three monsters, only my three friends who often end up at home, visiting my glass condition. Until I got used to living with the three monsters, not just getting used to it, even I couldn't live without them.

For me, they are everything, they are moments that should not stop. They are a wonderful time. Although crying was also created because of them, but it was a— when I still so did not accept reality.

Now, I think back to that time, where I had to go to the super market to buy diapers for them. Feed them together every day. Bathe them in turn. Imagine how tired I am, but as if tired it is gone when I can see them developing well.

I feel proud to take care of them. Just like when we plant a tree, we will water it and give it fertilizer so that the tree grows large and dense, is not it very happy when the tree produces fruit? Even we forget the fatigue of caring for trees after they bear fruit.

That's how I feel. I forgot my tiredness when I saw their laughter echoing, even it was like a warming sedative music. Then will I just shut up? Of course not, I was just making sure, that the three children knew which one was lying and were honest. If they knew for themselves the lies of Grandpa and his grandmother, they would definitely not like being there.

It didn't feel like until the night I sat on the floor thinking about the little monsters. Even I forgot to eat and drink, ever since they came out with that witch. I kept thinking about them, even my sitting position was still the same, until I felt my butt was a puddle.

I tried to stand up, feeling that I had been sitting for too long until I felt like my waist was hurting. I'll take two bottles of drink. I didn't light the lights, so it was just lighting from outside the glass. I pour one glass of wine, don't you think I'm drunk? After all, the three monsters were not around. After all, no one helped me, not even just accompanying me, only flies and mosquitoes that strayed into my house accompanied me.

My breath with the glass in hand, it felt so tiring and painful.

Malam ini mungkin aku akan memutar memori jahat di ingatanku. Memori yang menyimpan luka dengan sangat rapi dan baik, menyimpan setiap langkah gontaiku setiap menjelang pagi. Menyimpan bunyi botol yang aku lempar asal, atau bahkan tangisan bayi yang membuatku menangisi setiap malamku.

I always say, everything's fine.