Happiness Leads to Farewell
Silence is very painful

I'm not discouraged I'll try to contact Aysera endny in a want to lift my phone even though she's just her I tried to talk and explain her if there is no reason or answer what from him the most important I tried to convince him if I did not intend to lie and that I did just to make a prank and surprise until the anniversary arrived that's all.... and I admit that my way of looking is wrong and I regret that. then he unblocked my no WA and I started to chat him with all my regrets and I started begging him a very precious apology to me for his silence it hurts me so much. If I could choose I would rather be reviled even if I was physically tortured than I was left like this. every day I chat with him just remind him to pray, eat health care, do not be too cape and whatever it is I do not want him sick.. and what happens after that incident if it happens I will be the one who feels terribly guilty to him.. I am very happy even though my chat is only read without reply....it greatly affected my situation I felt very guilty to experience many changes in attitude according to people around me when I felt I was fine but not in the eyes of the family one day when I got together with my family I was reprimanded by my son and husband..

mom.... Why is there a problem? ask my youngest

nothing what mom. okay.

mom... is it true that ade.. mom is the end of the end of this much silence? wh why? connect my firstborn

mom.. why not maybe because of work problems just nothing.

yes, but maybe it will be after my work is done because there are pictures that I have to finish just a little more.

oh that yach mom... tp really mom just a matter of work? ask my bungsunku again

yes ben@r this image is very complicated many parts component parts that must mom very meticulous picture.. again I don't want my son and husband to know the real problem because I'm a person who never indulges or divides the problem itself as long as I can handle it.. oh yes I am a housewife but I have a side job from one of the outside electronics companies making pictures for every product they make or some kind of layout... yach is good enough to help my household finances and I also work as a babysitter.my husband is just a security man, my eldest son just 1 year graduated from SMK and is now pioneering to make a cape because he majored in goga, my youngest son just sat in the 11th grade of SMK with a major in TKJ yach is strange my youngest child my youngest child who in fact is a girl he does not like things that smell like women I was a teenager and my eldest son who he was a boy very fond of making friends with various dishes, but I am grateful my son is not. never beko neko or carried away by negative currents I am proud of them. My husband never minded my work as long as I can still divide my time and prioritize family. I do have a habit that according to everyone who knows me is very detrimental to my life but somehow all that I can not eliminate is my loving nature that is too over, no heart even though I was used, can not see others difficult even though I was in trouble myself, if already love the same people are not responsible, if I am not responsible, if you like any person will be sacrificed both the material and the nature of his nature I have ever made me suffer a very bad loss until I have locked myself for more or less 3 Months because I lost the figure of a friend, the sense of brother who went taken the very owner of this universe (died) I was very fond of him and I had dropped because I did not eat as long as I locked myself.... and now, it may be repeated.. maybe people will think me strange because a short introduction will be imprinted and stored so in using the feeling that I am if I already feel comfortable with someone even if it is just a girl the young man who is far below me who is like my son eating all that is not impossible for me to put that figure into a special place in my life and his position is as important as a child and my husband...

this is what I currently feel my life feels lonely, empty and very afraid... there is no spirit of life.eating I do not taste.I sleep even harder... because I was tormented with guilt against Aysera... Beautiful me,... every time I miss her.. when the night I usually chat now,.. I check every time his WA whether he's online or not I kepoin story WA. tp never any feedback from him.... I could only stare at her photo in the gallery on my HP. I could only cry considering the stupidity I was doing to her.... so that I don't deserve an apology and another chance to share a story with her? I can only cry lamenting all that without you telling anyone even my niece knows but I asked her to cover everything from my family especially my son... I try to be ordinary in front of the whole family, especially my children who have often questioned the existence of Aysera because they already know if I have children online again and they already assume him like their brother . but I cover up on the grounds Aysera is busy because she is preparing to enter SMK.. so I don't really want to bother him that I said to my two children because I had to give them a reason, let alone give them, they want to talk and get to know Aysera but... all that is impossible because all my efforts are in vain because he already hates and wants to forget me. if I have to be honest too sick his DIam for me....