Happiness Leads to Farewell
I hid the pain that was getting more excruciating

It turned out that all the events that affected my body, especially against the disease that approximately 4 years I suffered this, because of my poor diet and sleep patterns, something happened in my body that caused a really bad hook.... but I keep trying to be ordinary as if I am fine and healthy just in front of everyone, especially my children and husband because I don't want them to worry because I've never followed them to check the progression of skin diseases and I never want to make up for the prescriptions that doctors give me every month... because I have melted and I only resigned to the provisions of Allah SWT and I believe that HE WILL NOT GIVE A TEST IF WE ARE UNABLE TO ACCEPT IT AND SURVIVE ALL THAT.

I do routine daily as usual chat Aysera reminded him to pray, eat and also so that he keeps his health, continue to do his activities do not be too short of adequate rest or whatever anyway It still do... with my condition very uncontrollable anymore.My stomach more often pain is matchless,, my chest a little. sometimes blood comes out like marus or frozen blood.. that much is too much

it hurts when I come out. And my uterus feels like it's being pricked by a needle.... it was very painful but I tried to hold it so that I did not fall and ended up in a hospital sick bed and every day had to be sealed with a grain of medicine that would make this mouth bitter because of the taste... I don't want my hands shackled with a hose infusion that will make me restrained in a stuffy room with a typical smell of hospital carbole., I don't want it... I don't want to be that weak..... plus Aysera's prolonged silence that never apologizes to the crazy old woman who strayed into her personal life and a woman more unclean than a pig as Siwi said time that was to me even though he wrote it not directly for me but there I played the role of someone else so the word was thrown for me....it made my mind even more confused and felt very weak and this heart was very sick it made me feel tormented born and my bath plus my appetite and desire to sleep lost well day or night it torments me.. fortunately I worked away from my family so that I could hide the pain that tormented me so much I could only silence my mouth not to cry loudly for fear that anyone would hear only tears I'm the witness where I fight all the pain of birth and my bath I just surrender in my bow every night to give up everything that will happen to my life at the very kholiq the giver of this life and the owner of destiny who controls this flow of my life I only ask for one thing PadaNYa... that is, I was given strength and patience for what I am going through now.... until one day really a day that really scared me and very much I was afraid because that night the pain that I felt really 100 even 1000 %makes me almost feel sakaratulmaut if it was felt because this chest tightness my throat seemed to choke something so I was out of breath my head hurt like pierced. needling needles and my body shivering cold hot my whole body is limp.. and at that time I could not do anything else plus my uterus felt twisted or squeezed peri and very sick unbearable plus fresh blood coming out of the nose and ************ ku.., complete is my current suffering.... I want to scream at who because at that time there was no one at my place of work I could only surrender to the destiny that I would accept... if I had to die at that moment I would have resigned.... I resigned and I don't know if I don't remember what happened when I was unconscious in my room... for sure when I realized I heard the voice of adzan..yach that adzan shubuh after me because when I realized hearing the alarm from my HP that echoed the lafadz Asholatukhoiirum Minannaum..... yach that means it is the prayer time.... with the ability and energy I had I tried to get up and try to go to the bathroom to rid myself of the dried blood from my body and tried to clean my room with exertion a little bit started to collect and start to recover with the dizziness that I feel I try to make everything look good lest anyone at home see the chaos and my condition drop this... fortunately the house people have not come home from the family event felt in the peak area so I breathed a little relief because I can still rest my body to be more fit again and clean all the blood stains the clothes I wear are also in the sheets in my room.... Thank God that came to my mind for the first time when I realized because I was still given the opportunity to be able to improve myself even better and use the rest of my life better..... And I'm grateful that no one knows about this terrible event because I'm afraid to know@surely everyone will be worried and forbid me to do activities like usual, especially my work for reasons of my health condition and my illness I do not want to be loved by others because of my body condition I do not want to be the person who I@an troublesome my family because of my illness I just want to live like a normal person other than even I have to lie to everyone for the sake of happiness@n people I love I'm willing to be like today fighting alone against all the pain I'm telling you without worrying the people around me... I only ask Allah SWT I am given strength, patience, fortitude, and trust and infinite sincerity in order to fight all this pain... amen that is the only prayer I ask for every bow I bow down and I always ask that I can see my son happy and successful that is all..