Heartrest
episode 15 was all a mistake

lesson from this episode:

don't ever regret even if we have done something wrong, at least we realize the mistake we made..

"do you know what's the most important thing in life?"

I just looked at Nur's doctor's face, the question had no answer..

my head is empty, I can't think..

I haven't been in contact with alfian for almost a month, and he's not even live..

even though I was busy thinking about him, but I was annoyed because he immediately did not try to contact me..

and now that I had to see a psychiatric doctor, Nora persuaded me to get motivated from the doctor and she also kept it a secret from my husband Adrian..

"do not know the doctor"

reply slowly..

doctor Nur just looked at my face and sighed..

"love yourself.."

he said with a smile..

"everything in this life, there must be a cause.."

doctor Nur took another breath..

"all things are determined before we are born in lut mahfuz again, but all the things we can do, we can try if those things bring good to us..we can all think logically"

he said at length and I just nodded..

my mind drifted off Alfian's mind..

Alfians.. Alfian.and alfian..

I was too depressed to even think about him..

after what happened, he kept quiet.His silent attitude made me even more sick and angry..

I even laughed to myself, crying every night and repeatedly trying to slit my wrists..

"lord"

I was jolted from daydreams when I was called doctor Nur.

the doctor said Nur and I just nodded..

should I be frank with another man, in my own house.in bed I slept with my husband..

even I, immediately sometimes do not feel all wrong.alah keep thinking alfian..

ahhhh.. Adrian is not even important to me ..

Alfian.why didn't he contact me?

is it after he has me that he gets bored?

is everything not as expected?

why is he treating me this way?

why didn't he call me?

even him, he,

know my house.know the place I always visit..

could it be because of my last message?

so that we don't connect anymore..

how can he consider that serious?

what I should have returned, though,

I just don't want him to blame himself..

after all this..

or is he sick?

various things are playing on my mind.I tangled Alfian's words.In this month, I also can not sleep and rely on sleeping pills..

my eyes are like pandas because I can't sleep and cry..

next I always make up to cover this awful face of mine from my husband whenever we come in contact via video call..

although a bit strange but Adrian never reprimanded it, he was always like that.Itsensitive and does not care about my changes.it always makes me bored.. together he was too bored and lonely .adakala we were like strangers.mut not recognize each other.I was always left alone by the diary he was always sailing..

although everything he did was for my pleasure but this is not what I wanted..