
"I want to take a shower" I said later. "By the way, after this please help me put together all the groceries last night, yeah. I love you." I forced myself to get up and go straight to the bathroom after one lightning kiss I smashed on his cheek.
An hour later, I was done with all the business of beautifying myself, as well as Reza, he immediately helped me save and arrange the groceries to the kitchen drawers.
"Hows it? Enough, right, for the next few months?"
Reza nodded. "More than enough."
"good. It's done." Time for an advanced therapist for your heart. "I need a little break, will you accompany me?" I lift and I offer him a large glass of fresh mango juice.
Next I took my phone and turned on the loudspeaker that made Yuni Shara's voice in the song God Keep Him - his Motif Band - echoed in our house, then I took Reza to relax in the recliner across the pool.
The first song was a love-themed song that I deliberately chose so that Reza would stay lulled with the sweetness of our love this morning. But he began to feel uneasy once the next songs successfully pinched his heart. Started with the song Try For Faithful which broadcasts the melodious voice of Krisdayanti, but he did not trigger any comments.
On the third song - Heart Flakes - Utopia - Reza started glancing at me. "Why? Want snacks?" I asked, pretending to be stupid and thrusting a jar of peanut chocolate in my hand.
Reza. He moved to sit by my side and put my head on his shoulder. "Something seems strange" he said. "Your doubts are different."
"Enjoy it" I said. I put my phone to the table beside me - far from his reach, then I immediately put my head on his chest and I hugged him tightly. "I love you. And right now I'm not going to talk about anything, let those notes represent how I feel, okay?"
As I wish, time continues to roll in the strains of the tones that are increasingly piercing his heart. Lost - Word, For Love - Trained, With the Stars - Drive, Take You Off - Drive, Can't Have - Samsons, Imperfect Stories - Samsons, Forgive Me - Enda, Last: Sweetest Farewell - Lovarian. In each of the songs, Reza tried to find the meaning implicit in helplessness.
An hour passed. My phone is back in silence. I straightened my shoulders and looked at him seriously. And I asked, "Are you happy with me?"
He smiled blankly. "Very happy. It's never been better than this" he said. "If you?"
"me too. My life has never been this happy, as I have been with you."
Again, the smile on his face was perfectly fluffy. "Same," he said, "so do I."
"So, what's your decision?"
"Darling...."
"You want to break up with Salsya?"
"Mas, please, we fix our household, okay? Stay away from him, for my sake."
"We've already talked about this. We had a deal. Would help?"
I nodded with an empty look. "Our deal is only limited to you promising Salsya. Not more. Not until you're alone and make out with her."
"Oh my God, honey, I've explained everything to you. You don't believe me?"
I'm shaking. "I believe what I see. Salsya almost has been* and has been attached to you. I don't know, don't know what happened before I came."
Reza looked at me with a pus. "I didn't do anything to her."
"He did. She fucked you and I saw that."
Silent.
"Then for the last time-"
Reza held both of my arms firmly - until my sentence was cut off. "Don't talk about this anymore."
Angrier. I went inside the house, picked up a suitcase in the warehouse and packed a few clothes in the room. While Reza was in the fog banging on the door of the room that was locked from inside. When I opened the door and was about to get out, Reza managed to block me and bring me back -- into the room. And as usual, he used the bed scene to hold me back. He stripped me of my clothes violently even though I didn't fight back at all. He made my shirt tear and my buttons slip off, then floated it across the bed.
"Never get away from me!" she yelled as she flicked my skirt, then pulled my underwear. "You're mine" he said with a huff. "I'll never let you go. It will never!" My legs were stretched out, and, he went in, pounding and stomping me violently, as if I were fighting him.
Somewhat horrified also actually seeing him grimacing like that. But I had to make him regret that he hurt me too deeply.
"Whatever! With or without your permission, I'm still leaving."
I put my fingernails on her back and hoped that she would get angry and slap me, and I had good reason to file for divorce on the grounds of the KDRT. But he didn't do it. Instead he frowned, then swung both of my arms to the bed and pounded me all out.
Tastier? I don't know. All I know is that my heart is very angry with him.